I’m cutting corners where I can;
It’s good to be so frugal!
I’m cutting out my doctor, and
Replacing him with Google!

That mole that keeps on growing?
I’m convinced it’s fungal rust!
(If I can’t trust Wikipaedia,
Who else, then, can I trust?

My doctor says such fungi
Are a problem… but for plants.
He’s stuck in Western Medicine,
Won’t give my view a chance!)

My Neighbor swears by St. John’s Wort,
My mom, by chicken soup–
And eBay has a listing for
Some pure organic goop–

I’m going to cure that silly mole
Through different ways of knowing;
Ignore the fact that, as I act,
The damned thing keeps on growing.

It’s harder to ignore it now,
And keep it out of sight;
But god I hate that doctor, cos
He’s so convinced he’s right!

I’m going to try some reiki, and
Some therapeutic touch;
It’s just as good as doctors, and
It doesn’t cost as much!

Ok, it’s been a month or two–
I guess it didn’t work.
It’s time to suck it up and see
The doctor (what a jerk!).

I TOLD YOU SO! I did! I did!
My fears have all come true!
The doctor saw the mole and said
There’s nothing he can do.

(In truth, he added “at this point”,
And placed the blame on me–
Which shows that I was right, to hate
The worthless S.O.B.)

Context–for the record, I really like Dr. Pal, and appreciate his honest blogging, his passion and occasional exasperation, and the care he so obviously shows for his community. Check out his “donors choose” posts, and help make a meaningful difference!
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