A Down-Under Valentine

I don’t think I’ll ever quite get the hang of this time-space continuum thing. Here in the real world, it won’t be Valentine’s Day for many hours yet, but in the mystical Land of Oz, Valentine’s day has been either here for hours or done and gone some weeks or years ago, I can’t keep it straight. But just as ScienceWoman’s boots inspired a verse, Podblack Cat‘s time-space coordinates, and her mere existence, inspired another. Happy Valentine’s Day, Kiddo!

A Valentine’s poem for my sweetheart Down Under
Where summer is winter, and springtime is fall,
Where lightning is loud as the brightest of thunder
And dangerous drop-bears are feared most of all.

Down Under, where everything’s mixed up or backwards,
You have to be careful to mean what you say:
A whispered “I love you” is vicious attack words,
So what should I write on this Valentine’s Day?

I’ve heard it’s romantic, in Western Australia,
To bash someone’s head with a didgeridoo;
And a compliment—one guaranteed to not fail ya:
“Your lips are the bung of a red kangaroo!”

I’ll romantically fasten this poem to a brick,
And lovingly toss it through her window-glass:
“G’day to my sweetheart who’s making me sick:
Happy Valentine’s Day, you old pain in the ass!”


  1. Andy says

    Love is such a beautiful thing to witness. That brought a tear to my eye and a tear to my heart strings.

  2. says

    ANTIPODES ARSE ABOUTA golden star from the Southern Cross,Goes nova, looks terrific, not a loss.No worries mate, one state burns, Another floods, taking turns, To see if climate change earnsThe blame for weeks of 45C,And Queensland’s inland seas.No-one really gives a toss. The pollies just got rid of their fineInquiry into carbon reduction.The population sings of seductionBy vested interests holding the line.We are the canaries fluttering in the mine.Our rugged mountain ranges,Our droughts and Sydney’s gays,Our laconic sense of humour allays,Our fear of all these changes.Extreme conditions, beauty mate!Rich and rare, let History’s pages,In all their stages, Reflect our Post Modern rages …PS rage is a boisterous party in Aus.

  3. says

    Yeah, Digital Cuttlefish still wins with his verse.I mean, IT’S NO LONGER VALENTINE’S DAY AND STILL HATE!! :p :pI’m going to have to send you a photo of me wearing my Digital Cuttlefish shirt!

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