End of the World ! (and I feel fine)

Allow me to be the last to tell you… they switched on the Large Hadron Collider.

In related news, the world has not come to an end.

The switch was thown in Switzerland
And protons zoomed around a bend—
Across the world, we clasped our hands
And waited for the world to end.

The scientists at Fermilab
Were hoping there was much to learn—
But true believers everywhere
Were voicing their concern with CERN

The particles accelerate:
When protons smash—what happens then?
Did CERN just push the “reset” switch,
To start the cosmos up again?

The scientists themselves do not,
For certain, know what happens next—
But there are some who claim the truth,
As written in their Holy Text:

The Lord will come—the end is nigh
The saved will fly to Jesus’ side
The sinners will be cast to Hell
So let the particles collide!

(Of course, predictions such as this
Have happened many times before,
And every time—oh, gee, they’re wrong.

Congratulations; wrong once more.)


  1. says

    Pedantically, they only just started it warming up… The energies involved won’t exceed current colliders until sometime mid-October way.So do remember to revisit the topic when we don’t all die then too. ;)

  2. says

    That’s not pedantic, that’s just accurate…In my Gmail banner, of course, they have taken my “end of the world” title and decided that I might like to see the site “2012- Earth is Destroyed” (I won’t give the URL), detailing the end of the world as foretold by the Mayan calendar.As I understand it, the LHC will be having great fun right about then…

  3. says

    What is it about calendarsThat sets us all to thinkThat our fine Earth will wash awayLike water down a sink?It seems to me quite ludicrousTo treat as set in stoneThese lines we draw in sand – a traitTo which we all are prone.This planet’s seen four millionMillennia go past.We’d really be unlucky folksIf our one were the last!

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