I’m (almost) a Real Man!

At least according to Conservapedia’s idiotic reply to all of the atheists giggling at their Fatty McFatterston argument. It’s impressively more brainless than the original article, but this part aimed at PZ Myers spoke to me, personally:

When faced with body weight challenges, real men set weight loss goals,

Done!

publicly declare their weight loss goals,

Ditto! And for charity, too!

and of course, use the Total Gym.

Awwwwww, and I was soooooo close to becoming a Real Man (TM)! All because I didn’t use Chuck Norris’s weight loss program. Apparently standing in front of an American flag in tight jeans burns a lot of calories.I wonder how Conservapedia would deal with the fact that two prominent atheists started a public weight loss routine right before they made all of these ludicrous claims. Oh, right, the way they deal with all contrary evidence: ignoring it.

I'm (almost) a Real Man!

At least according to Conservapedia’s idiotic reply to all of the atheists giggling at their Fatty McFatterston argument. It’s impressively more brainless than the original article, but this part aimed at PZ Myers spoke to me, personally:

When faced with body weight challenges, real men set weight loss goals,

Done!

publicly declare their weight loss goals,

Ditto! And for charity, too!

and of course, use the Total Gym.

Awwwwww, and I was soooooo close to becoming a Real Man (TM)! All because I didn’t use Chuck Norris’s weight loss program. Apparently standing in front of an American flag in tight jeans burns a lot of calories.I wonder how Conservapedia would deal with the fact that two prominent atheists started a public weight loss routine right before they made all of these ludicrous claims. Oh, right, the way they deal with all contrary evidence: ignoring it.

Those fatty McFatFat atheists!

Well isn’t this perfect timing? Right after JT Eberhard and I start our little weight loss battle, Conservapedia’s new front page topic is “Atheism & Obesity.” I wonder if LoseIt! will let me log the calories I burnt laughing at their absurd logic. It basically boils down to “We hate atheists and fail at debating their philosophy, so we’ll point out that they’re fat doo doo heads instead.”

Okay, they don’t explicitly say “fat doo doo heads.” Their logic is more like this:

1. Here are five atheists. Two died decades ago, but that’s probably because they were so FAT.
2. Don’t they look overweight? I mean, we don’t have their height, or weight, or body fat percentages, or cholesterol levels, or anything of biological significance, but they sure do look like fatties, don’t they?
3. What? You can provide examples of fat religious people and of thin atheists? Shhhhhhhh!
4. And you know why atheists don’t get married as much? Because the men are all fat slobs. Sorry, ladies (though you’re fat slobs too).
5. And didn’t you know fatties are stupid too? Science says so. No, not that evilutionist science, because they’re fatties too. The good kind of science that we can twist… I mean, interpret to fit our own views.
6. Therefore atheists are wrong and God exists. Specifically the Christian God. QED

I don’t want to waste too much time debunking the intellectual void that is Conservapedia, but let me just leave this here:Curious, curious indeed… With Conservapedia logic, correlation implies causation, therefore religious people are the true fatties! Neener neener! …Well, except Mormons, who are apparently fit machines, obviously making Mormonism the correct religion. Isn’t using fatphobia as a debate tool fun?!

Though maybe they’re right. Maybe as I shed the pounds I’ll become more and more religious! If you want to support this science experiment, or just show your support for healthy atheists, you can pledge a donation here.

Getting off my ASS for the SSA

I have a little bet going with JT Eberhard, who you may remember as the brains behind Skepticon and the new high school organizer for the Secular Student Alliance. JT and I were discussing our dismay at the extra pudge we’ve put on, the holiday season definitely not helping despite our godlessness. Finding motivation to get off our butts is hard for two bloggers, but we came up with a good idea: Competition!

JT and I are both speaking at the SSA regional leadership conference in Southern California on February 19th. Starting on January 1st, whoever can lose more weight before February 19th is the winner. And to turn it into a good cause, we’re encouraging our readers to donate to charity to support our goal. If you want to be awesome, you can support me by using the widget below to donate to the SSA.

You can either donate a flat amount, or pledge (in the comments) to donate a certain amount per pound I lose. JT and I will post updates every Saturday, so you can either donate as we go along, or wait until February 19th in case you think I’m going to break down and gain it all back in a Day After Valentine’s Day Chocolate Sale moment of weakness.

And if you want to be less awesome, I guess you could always support JT by donating to Skepticon.

It wouldn’t be a bet without consequences. The loser has to buy the other drinks for the whole night at the conference. It’s kind of unfortunate that JT is going to spend a significant portion of his first paycheck from the SSA buying me alcohol, but oh well.

Anyway, I hope you’ll donate! The SSA and Skepticon are both great causes, and who doesn’t want their skeptics to adopt healthier lifestyles?*

*And in case anyone thinks a weight loss competition will just encourage unhealthy dieting or starvation… trust me, I like food way too much. I plan on cracking out DDR and EA Sports Active 2 every day. Yes, I will win this nerdily!

——

EDIT: JT thinks he has me beat with his plan to eat lots of pizza in order to gain weight before January 1st. Oh yeah? Well you know what I have to say to that?!?!Great minds think alike. (Yes, that’s the best Game Face I can come up with)

The Most Influential Female Atheist of 2010

It’s that time of year again! Yep, time for arbitrarily quantifiable Top 10 lists. Last year’s poll on influential atheist women was so successful, I felt like it would be a great idea to do one again.

Yes, we all know polls aren’t scientifically meaningful – technically PZ Myers was one of the most influential female atheists of 2009 (should never allow write-ins when Pharyngulites are around). But the way I see it, all the women on this list are winners, and this is just one way to showcase them. Here are the nominees, suggested by my blog readers via twitter and facebook, or added by yours truly:

I know it’s hard to vote when there are so many awesome women on one list, so you can vote for up to three. If you want to vote for someone not on the list, please select “Other” and leave your vote in the comments:

Who was the most influential female atheist of 2010?Market Research

It was hard selecting just 15 nominees – you can see a much longer list of awesome female atheists here.

Some people will probably think a women-only list is just perpetuating sexism, or implying women can’t play with the “big boys” of atheism, so they need their own poll. But really, it’s addressing the problem that so many women are doing fabulous things in the movement, but too few people know about their achievements. This is just one way of highlighting all the awesome work they’ve done in the past year.

*People using Google Reader or other RSS feed aggregators may not be able to see the poll. Please visit the original post to voice your opinion!

Nifty new video about the Secular Student Alliance

I command you to watch it. And if my decree is not enough motivation, you should totally watch it because it has cameos by Richard Dawkins, Brian Dalton (Mr. Deity), and Hemant Mehta:

While watching this video, I realized yet another thing that makes the Secular Student Alliance so awesome. Out of all the people featured, I have only not met one, and that was the guy from Africa. And out of the rest, I consider the majority friends rather than acquaintances, and some of them as very close friends. So not only did the SSA help make my club at Purdue a success, but I’ve personally made connections that I’ll have for a lifetime.

I’ve come a long way from thinking I was the only atheist out there. Thanks, SSA!

Overheard at the post office

It’s hard to convey tone through text, but keep in mind both of these guys were light hearted in this conversation:

Guy: I need some stamps, what kind do you have?
Employee: Well, we have the bells, the holiday ones, and then the godless ones.
Guy: Godless ones?
Employee: Yep! *shows him some holiday stamps with pine cones and other nature-y things on them*
Guy: I guess I’ll take two of the godless-
Employee: Two heathen stamps!
Guy: -and two of the overly religious ones.
Employee: Shhh, we’re not allowed to say that.

I giggled. Definitely a “No Jen, you’re not in Indiana anymore” moment.

That and the fact that a young woman wearing a cross necklace happily helped me stuff 21 copies of The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas into envelopes as I was frantically trying to get in before closing. Hooray for Seattle.