Within hours of my parents arriving in Seattle, my parents witnessed a pimp making a deal with a john by shouting a phone number and instructions out of his car while stuck in traffic on Broadway on Capitol Hill.
Me: …I swear that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen.
What else will they see on their adventure out of the Midwest? No one knows! Hopefully not any homeless people’s genitalia!
So you won’t be visiting the museum of modern art on this trip?
Wait… on broadway? That doesn’t even make sense. I mean.. Aurora sure… but broadway?
It’s dangerous outside of the corn we have here in Indiana!
Man, it never fails! The weirdest behavior you’ve seen to date always occurs when you’re with someone from out of town.
It’s why I surround myself with the most surreal people on earth everywhere I go. That way when I am with someone from out of town, I will know precisely what to expect.
Mountain ranges, forests, the Sound, Mt. Rainier, and you’re showing them Broadway?
Fuck yes. I’ve lived here my whole life and Capitol Hill is the best place in the state.
My family has absolutely no interest in nature. They don’t even want to go to the Arboretum.
Pity. I was gonna suggest you go trekking for Octopus paxarbolis before its habitat is destroyed.
I was thinking, “Wow, I wonder where they were to see that?” Then you said Capitol Hill. And I thought, “Oh. Yeah.”
Jen, take them on the Underground Tour in Pioneer Square. It’s the best thing in Seattle to take out-of-towners to, especially if they are history buffs or like peculiar oddities. I’ve been a dozen times with guests over the years. Well worth it. You’ll enjoy it yourself if you haven’t gone yet.
Would your parents be averse to watching Family Guy or South Park?
I second this. As a bonus to it, Terry Pratchett went on this tour and says it influenced his description of Ankh-Morpork.
As a midwesterner who makes several trips to Seattle for work, I find this really funny. I’ve only been to Capitol Hill a few times, but it is consistently…interesting.Maybe take them to see the Fremont troll?
In defense of naked homeless people:http://www.smbc-comics.com/ind…That is all.
Did you happen to write down the number?
There’s an adult version of the underground tour I’ve been meaning to try.
ahahahah! that might even top me taking my dad to Voodoo doughnut, on the day they were holding the “how many doughnuts can *you* fit on your dick?” contest…