Let’s all go to the lobby: Santorum sweeps Alabama & Mississippi! »« The delegate math for tonight

Primary Results: Alabama & Mississippi go for Santorum!

Results: AL, MS, HI 9:45 PM NBC Calls Alabama for Santorum! Santorum winning Mississippi!

Alabama   *Santorum-35% .. Romney-28% Gingrich-30%   with 60% in  

Mississippi  *Santorum-33% .. Romney-30%  Gingrich-32% with 96% in

This race is OVER!

MSNBC exit polling shows turn out of white evangelical voters up by 10%

It’s more than simple total votes, the eventual nominee is decided by esoteric delegate math

Tonight, one night only, it’s a Teaparty slugfest in the heart of the Confederacy. First up, Willard Mittens Romney the Heretic, standing in the moderately right corner stuffing grits into his smiling, capped maw threatening his oh-so-tight custom embroidered Neiman Marcus cycling trunks that flash whatever color needed to distract any supporter nearby. In the far right corner, wearing the flashy bright red trunks with spandex cumberwaistband, good ole southern homeboy Newt-of-three-wives-Gingrich, last seen leading one set of crackers by a hair in Bama. And in the extreme right corner, wearing the very dull red trunks, Frothy Rick Santorum, anxious to misinterpret the results and declare himself the Kommander of the Republic of Gilead.

I’ll be following the hot man on pundit action here and on Twitter @SAndrewDKos staying on top of every angle, thanks to a handful of legally prescribed narcotic painkillers, benzodiazepines, cortical steroids all washed down by a Red Bull, followed by half a bottle of delicious Cognac enjoyed throughout the evening’s events thanks to a full pack of unfiltered Marlboro reds. Or I might I start cold calling old girlfriend’s out of the blue with that killer, irresistible slurred line “Hey  …so… whatya doin? You at home?”

If Romney wins both Alabama and Mississippi, I think it’s a knock-out punch. Not that Santorum or Gingrich will necessarily fold and go home. After all, there’s still some megabucks to be fleeced! If Romney loses one, I think he still wins the narrative. If he loses both, it’ll spell more weeks of trouble and money for Mittens. We’ll know soon, polls close at the top of the hour.

Comments

  1. d cwilson says

    Romney needs to win at least one state in the deep south. If he can’t, it’ll be a clear sign that evangelicals will stay home in November.

  2. herp says

    Please let this be the end! I can only watch the writhing of the Republican party for so long; it’s practically inhumane.

  3. jerthebarbarian says

    d cwilson -

    I doubt the evangelicals will stay home. They’re unhappy, but they’ll have their come to Jeebus moment eventually and turn out to vote for whoever they’re told to vote for. Romney will have to grovel and probably pick a Veep who is beloved by the movers and shakers among the evangelicals and that will be that. I doubt it will be a Romney/Santorum ticket – two “cultists” on the same ticket probably won’t bring the Southern Baptists back home to roost – but I’m sure someone as loathesomely regressive as Santorum can be found with the proper religion to shore up Romney’s support on that side. It’s the marginal voters who aren’t going to show up to vote for Romney, not the hard core.

    What the hard core evanglicals might not do is turn out to volunteer for Romney’s campaign, though. Which would mean that he’ll have to sink even more money into hiring people who would be doing jobs normally filled by volunteers. I’m sure it will be the most expensive presidential campaign yet (every one is more expensive than the previous one), but I’m wondering how much more expensive it’s going to be for Romney.

  4. gshelley says

    In a normal election year the evangelicals might stay home, but this this is not a normal year. The hatred for Obama is pretty extreme and the number of people who believe he is a muslim, not a citizen, or even actively working to destroy America is beyond belief. These people would probably vote for Satan as long as they thought it would get rid of Obama.

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