Andy Borowitz says that Cardinal Bonifacius Steuer of the Netherlands, who had dreamed about being pope from his childhood and expected to easily win the papacy, was bitter about his unexpected defeat and blamed the media for misrepresenting who he was.
“Look, I’m not going to lie to you,” Cardinal Steuer said, in his first interview since his bruising defeat. “It kills me not to be there, not to be in the Vatican doing what needs to be done.”
“People weren’t allowed to see me for who I was,” he said. “They made me look like I’m some rich, rich guy, when you know that I’m as poor as a church mouse.”
“Look, if you go around saying, ‘the poor this, the poor that,’ you’re going to get a lot of support from people who want free stuff,” he said. “Francis’s campaign, if you will, focussed on giving targeted groups a big gift.”
It is sad how often that happens. However, he gets another shot at it since the Onion has the sensational scoop that pope Francis has also decided to resign.