Profiles in Republican courage »« Reality and the pundits

Why did god let Romney lose?

This is the question that the religious right is grappling with in the aftermath of an election in which the antichrist won. So what will religious conservatives do now?

Some argue that this is a setback for the conservative agenda, that “the party’s positions and presentation on issues like gay marriage and abortion rights turn off more voters than they attract” and thus they need to rethink their strategy. Others argue that the problem was that Romney was not vocal and hardline enough on the issues dear to religious conservatives.

Others like Franklin Graham say that their god is mightily ticked off by the voters’ choices and is going to come a’smitin’ pretty soon and they’ll be sorry that they defied him. Our comeuppance will not be in the form of plagues of locusts or frogs, but more likely as an economic collapse.

But others see a silver lining in the loss. Larry Klayman says that losing was actually a good thing, that it is all part of a grand plan by god, who did not want us to become complacent. If Mitt Romney had won, we might have thought that he and the Republican party would save us from the “Mullah in Chief” and “his growing voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others”. (What others? That seems a pretty exhaustive list of evildoers. Who is left? Vegetarians? Yoga practitioners? Zumba enthusiasts?)

So what can be done? Klayman has already set in motion procedures to bring all the traitors to account and save us from the “bondage and slavery” that is in store for us with Obama’s re-election.

One of these avenues is the Citizens Grand Jury, which I, as a Citizens Prosecutor, have empaneled in Ocala, Fla. On Oct, 29, 2012, the Citizens Grand Jury, after having evidence presented to it, voted unanimously on a true bill to indict President Obama and Vice President Biden on charges of treason for their having intentionally leaked classified national security information to boost their political fortunes in the Nov. 6 elections. This month, I will be returning to Ocala to seek the indictment of Obama for his having defrauded the American people with regard to his eligibility to be president. And, after that the Citizens Grand Jury will set its sights on Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Elena Kagan for Roberts having violated his oath of office in rendering a willfully illegal ruling in the case upholding the constitutionality of Obamacare and not disqualifying Kagan, given her conflict of interest. Kagan will be indicted for violating her oath of office and refusing to recuse herself from the case as required by the Judicial Canons of Ethics.

Once indicted, these corrupt officials will be arraigned and tried for their crimes. I am confident of convictions. More indictments of corrupt government officials and judges will follow.

Now one can always find insane ravings on the internet. But Klayman is not the internet equivalent of a drunk on the street corner proclaiming the end of the world. He is a former Justice Department prosecutor and founder of Freedom Watch.

Paranoia truly runs deep.

Comments

  1. Nepenthe says

    “his growing voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others”.

    Hmm… 6 out of 10 ain’t bad. *dislocates shoulder patting self on back*

    (What others? That seems a pretty exhaustive list of evildoers. Who is left? Vegetarians? Yoga practitioners? Zumba enthusiasts?)

    Well, all three of those things are devilry, so he probably just includes them with the anti-Christians.

  2. C Tran says

    God didn’t let Romney lose, he made Obama win. Are there no conservatives lamenting God’s decision to send a hurricane to boost Obama’s pre-election polls?

  3. Chiroptera says

    And, after that the Citizens Grand Jury will set its sights on Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts…for Roberts having violated his oath of office in rendering a willfully illegal ruling in the case upholding the constitutionality of Obamacare….

    Yeah! We’ll take this all the way…to…uh…the, er, Supreme….

    Shit.

  4. bobo says

    I really hope that the repubs continue with this hardline stuff, and double down on the wingnuttery.

    I want the party to tear itself apart from within.

  5. Chiroptera says

    One of these avenues is the Citizens Grand Jury, which I, as a Citizens Prosecutor….

    Back when I was a youngster, we used to call it a lynch mob.

  6. thewhollynone says

    I wonder if there is a good mental health facility in Ocala, Florida, with treatment protocols for people like this Klayman fellow and his “grand jury” cohorts? I’m not joking. The man’s trolley has jumped the rails. Very sad.

  7. gshevlin says

    Klayman was publicly reprimanded by the Florida Bar in the recent past for lawyering violations (you can find that discipline listed on the Florida Bar web site), and his law license in another state appears to be suspended: http://www.thefogbow.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=88&t=8405&p=434283&hilit=Klayman+sanctions#p434283
    Klayman has a habit of filing fanciful lawsuits and motions like this one. The “citizen’s grand jury” is a well-established Sovereigh Citizen masturbatory fantasy. Usually it keys off of dreams of President Obama being frog-marched into a Citizen’s Court for His Compeuppance.

  8. Corvus illustris says

    “But Klayman is not the internet equivalent of a drunk on the street corner proclaiming the end of the world.”

    Are you really sure of this? In addition to the long quote in your post, his Wikipedia page offers a large amount of contrary evidence–and he writes for the WorldNutDaily.

  9. fastlane says

    So, does Obamacare cover rightwing post election butthurt?

    SNL (or better, the Onion) needs to make a parody commercial of this….

  10. Eric Riley says

    “I am confident of convictions.”

    Of course he is – he’s already sure they’re guilty. It’s a wonder he’s even bothering with a show trial.

  11. stonyground says

    I am currently about two thirds of the way through a book called ‘In the Shadow of the Sword’ by Tom Holland. It is a history book that examines the broader historical context of the rise of Islam. It is relevant here for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the ancient world was home to many religions that we no longer have today. These religions didn’t die out because they were untrue but because their adherents were brutally exterminated. The religions that we have today are still around because it was their followers that won the most important battles. Secondly, in the ancient world, everything that happened had to be interpreted as some kind of sign from the gods. If you won a battle it was because the gods approved of your beliefs and your lifestyle. If you lost, then you were living or worshipping in the wrong way. These are the primitive beliefs of people who were living in around the eighth century CE.

    Why are people who hold such primitive views taken seriously by anyone in the twentyfirst century?

  12. Jockaira says

    “…indict President Obama and Vice President Biden on charges of treason for their having intentionally leaked classified national security information…”

    Actually since the President is Commander-In-Chief of the US military forces and the Chief Executive Officer of the federal government, he has the right, duty, and perogative to release any governmental information he chooses for whatever purpose he chooses. Since the Vice President is charged as a party to this “treason” it is presumed that he acted upon the orders of the President, therefore is blame-free for “following orders”.
    .
    The Citizens Grand Jury’s gotta do better than that if they expect anyone to take them seriously.
    .
    “Head’s up, Mr Klayman. There’s an incoming drone with your name on it.”

  13. lorn says

    “Once indicted, these corrupt officials will be arraigned and tried for their crimes. I am confident of convictions. ”

    Looks like a sure thing as long as everyone fails their savings throws, Obama doesn’t use his ring of invisibility, and Billy’s mom doesn’t bang on the basement door declaring dinner is on the table and the gaming time over.

  14. says

    This is the downside of adopting a strategy of departing from reality and taking up extreme positions: when it doesn’t work, you look stupid and have to deal with cognitive dissonance in your flock. What we’re seeing in the republican party is basically the same thing as a preacher who goes around saying “the world will end on $date$!!!” and is shown to be powerless and ignorant the day after $date$. By whipping their base into action with apocalyptic rhetoric, like “God is on our side!” the republicans now have to wrap their heads around “God, apparently, is on the other side.” It’s what right-wingers snickeringly call “islamic rage” when it happens in the other guy.

  15. Skip White says

    So does my long line of German ancestry make me one of those America-hating anti-Anglo whites?

  16. says

    I have this image of a cardboard box of dolls labeled in a careful but childlike hand “Jurry”. He just needs to convince Ken and he will get Barbie’s vote to convict, but the hard part is getting the vote of Mr. Flopsy the cuddly rabbit, because he’s a notorious liberal who nearly always votes against the death penalty.

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