Apr 04 2012

Wait — you mean I don’t have an undersea throne room?

I think there’s something ironic about the juxtaposition of this fantasy image and my quote, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.


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  1. 1
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    I think and undersea throne room, though it sounds and looks good in theory, would present certain difficulties. Do you realize how hard it is to design a throne that will flush against all that external water pressure? Besides, getting from your home in Minnesota to an ocean just to use your throne would be a might inconvenient.

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  3. 3

    Look, I know this chap and his grandfather was a (genuine) Bond villain. I’m sure he’s got something like this put away in storage.

  4. 4

    A slightly more monumental throne might suit you better. Alternatively, perhaps something with worshipful acolytes would be even better.

  5. 5

    You have your tentacles on the pulse of reality.

  6. 6

    Sorry PZ the portal failed to open and Azathoth couldn’t get in this time. Go back to sleep and we’ll call you when the stars are right again.

  7. 7
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Simply use a dual chamber airlock system.

    Also, Lake Superior is not so far away. Besides, I’m not sure PZ could survive a tropical lair. All that sun and warmth, dontcha know. ;)

  8. 8

    Well, scratch the double of and its even cooler :-D

  9. 9

    Whoever made that was suckered by the classic optical/grammatical illusion of having an of at the end of one line and also at the start of the next.

  10. 10

    Why IS it that when I read THINGS with lots of unnecessary all caps that I FEEL like I’m being forced to LURCH?

  11. 11
    Antiochus Epiphanes

    Ironic? Like maybe black loafers worn with taupe trousers?

    I don’t get it.

    Nice lab, by the way. We’re supposed to be getting a new building, but the admin will probably chintz out on the furnishings…looks like UMMorris does that shit right.

  12. 12

    A proper Bad Guy should be wearing a Nehru jacket. And I don’t see the white, fluffy cat anywhere, but the tentacles are cool. The tentacles should have a throne room all by themselves.
    — — — — —
    A rig similar to the one in “The Spy Who Loved Me” could be made in the East Coast shipyards and towed to Lake Superior. I suggest adding an underwater space launch annex similar to the one in the German series “Raumpatrouille”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hobEAZ5N3L4

  13. 13
    Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

    Undersea thrones don’t need to be [i]that[/i] undersea. It’s what… 20 feet tall? So only a 20-foot deep water pit need to be used.

  14. 14
    Anthony K

    but the tentacles are cool. The tentacles should have a throne room all by themselves.

    I like them, but I don’t like how they crawl along the floor. They’re in the way, underfoot. Thinking about having to step over them just to step behind the throne and regard the blinking light map (obviously retractable, as it’s not shown) triggers my anxiety.

  15. 15
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    The tentacles are, of course, hyper-intelligent. They only get under the feet of everyone but our Overlord (PBJBUH).

  16. 16
    Glen Davidson

    But see, remaking the world is an option.

    So is photoshop, still it’s not the same.

    Glen Davidson

  17. 17

    Perhaps the irony is that this fantasy is re-thinking the world.

    Still with a little imagination and flourish it could be made real: chuck all the furniture out of your living room, cover the floor in black tiles, knock out one wall and replace it with a giant fish tank stocked with cephalopods and their prey, place your tentacular throne in front of it and voila, job done.

    The Poopyhead Pharyngulord would be ready to receive his suppplicants, squidlings, hordlings and Trophy Wife in a style befitting his regal overlordininess. (Assuming Trophy Wife is happy with this arrangement, of course.)

  18. 18
    Gregory Greenwood

    If all those tentacles were hyper-intelligent, it would at least make marking exams a breeze.

    It might also be useful for writing multiple scathing posts dismantling creationist blather/newage woo/bigted claptrap simultaneously.

    Not to mention the troll-splatting potential of eight ever-vigilant banhammers…

    Why, it is a labour saving marvel! All evil, godless, cephalopod-fancying, baby-eating, eldritch overlords should have one.

  19. 19

    Like maybe black loafers worn with taupe trousers?

    I thought it was generally understood that academics are exempt from all fashion protocols (as if we even know what they are). Of course, some take it too far and consider themselves exempt from personal grooming standards as well (but we’re not talking about PZ, of course).

  20. 20

    PZ, I really like your quote. And I can see where your fantasy image may be right for you and even for your chief demon, Cthulhu, if you want to make a lavish business card, for instance. But to me, your fantasy image doesn’t go as well as one should, with such a great quote. How about a completely natural image – and not a fantasy image – with a predator actually catching its prey, in nature, and not just poised in an aquarium setting?

  21. 21

    Why IS it that when I read THINGS with lots of unnecessary all caps that I FEEL like I’m being forced to LURCH?

    That’s what the tentacle SEAT BELTS on the throne are FOR.

  22. 22
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    academics are exempt from all fashion protocols

    Only with tenure.

  23. 23

    I know a space in Shedd Aquarium (Chicago) where that can be set up. The supplicants can be tagged for an entrance fee. There is a cafeteria, bathrooms, a gift shop. If you put squid into the tank behind, they would have to fight it out with the dolphins.

  24. 24

    In his home in Minnesota Dread Pzmyers waits dreaming

  25. 25

    Minor pedantic point…rethinking the world IS an option — indeed, a necessary one — in instances where the initial thought was incorrect. Cf, “flat earth”, “phlogiston”, etc.

    But otherwise, right on!

  26. 26

    I’d like to be under the sea
    In an octopus’ garden in the shade.

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