Behold, a Molly

Yes! We are all caught up! The Molly for the month of September goes to…

Louis

Say huzzah or hooray or happy monkey or whatever is your custom to celebrate such events, and move on to nominate someone for the month of October in the comments. You can do it! It was only a few days ago!

Comments

  1. Louis says

    Hey?

    When did this happen? Ha! I haven’t even read the Molly thread…erm, this is a bit of a shock to be honest. Should I make some sort of gushing acceptance speech like Halle Berry?

    Ooooh maybe even more controversially should I refuse out of some sense of unworthiness or hatred of awards?

    Hmmm. Those OM parties are pretty wild I’ve heard….

    …in that case I gratefully accept. Can I now run naked through the halls towards the OM-nipresent Atheist Bacchanalian Orgy (with bacon)* TM?

    Louis

    *This orgy is the special, Louis-Brand sponsored version that contains enthusiastic consent. It’s the only consent that’s worth it. When it comes to orgies, accept no substitutes. Louis-Brand Orgies: Where yes means “oh yes!” or it’s time to pick up your dildo and go home. We’ll beat any lesser form of consent.

  2. Sally Strange, OM says

    *This orgy is the special, Louis-Brand sponsored version that contains enthusiastic consent. It’s the only consent that’s worth it. When it comes to orgies, accept no substitutes. Louis-Brand Orgies: Where yes means “oh yes!” or it’s time to pick up your dildo and go home. We’ll beat any lesser form of consent.

    Aaand Louis demonstrates why he’s so very Molly-worthy.

    Congrats, Louis! May I be the first star-struck groupie to join in your orgy?

  3. Louis says

    Actually can someone let me know what the OM privileges are?

    Am I allowed to flamethrower trolls after only two comments instead of three? Do I get to have it taken as read that I do not agree with Frank Hoggle, Ken Ham, and Melanie Phillips? Do I, in fact, get to know the secret handshake and get the keys to the Black Helicopters? Do I {looks around carefully} get to make the joke about Snow White and Prince Charming’s wedding night without {dramatic pause} repercussions?

    I do think it’s time to reveal I have actually been a deep cover mole the last decade or so, just waiting for this moment. I’m a deeply religious theologian and accomodationist, not an atheist. I don’t like women, they’re all a bit crap when compared to us wonderful men. And don’t get me started on The Gays (with their agenda) and those Blacks and sundry foreigners. Dirty , dirty foreigners. The world is 600 years old and dinosaurs were put here to test us. PZ abusing a cracker was worse than the Holocaust and homeopathy really works…

    …shit they just revoked my PhD in chemistry for saying that bit even in jest. Hey, come back! Come back! I was kidding! Please let me have it back. I worked so hard. WAAAH!

    Louis

  4. Louis says

    Sally,

    When I say this is an All-Comers orgy I mean what I say. We here at Louis Corp do not stint on our Louis-Brand Orgies. It’s a name you can trust. Your Gold Plated Leather Bound Bacon Infused Luxury Lifetime Privilege Club Membership is winging its way to you now. One of our operatives will hand deliver it.

    Don’t worry about letting us know your address, we at Louis Corp have been collecting data on everyone in a totally not sinister way for the last fifty years. Your operative has been chosen to match the psychological profile that we crafted, by hand, free of charge, by our specialist technique of “Not Stalking You Relentlessly, Going Through Your Bins And Monitoring Your Every Transaction Ever At All Honest. We’d Never Do That”.

    We do this because we care.

    ;-)

    Louis

  5. Louis says

    By the way, if the gushing silliness above doesn’t convey it, I’m pretty humbled by this. Thanks everyone. I’m very grateful.

    Louis

  6. Father Ogvorbis, OM: Delightfully Machiavellian says

    Actually can someone let me know what the OM privileges are?

    Wait. There are privileges? But I’m already a white, heterosexual mature male with a Wife, Boy and Girl, two-and-a-half cats, two rats, three fish and a big, rather conservative, American sedan. I ain’t privileged enough already?

    Conga rats! Louis. Your level-headedness enrages trolls. I think your OM means you can now continue that, but with the added elan of the OM.

    And I have to go back and actually read what happened in Octover. Not sure I remember much of it.

  7. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Actually can someone let me know what the OM privileges are?

    I would be happy to tell you what the OM privileges are. Just as soon as I find out that information I’ll be sure to pass it on to you.

    Actually there is one privilege I know about. You can have Truth Machine OM sneer at you free of charge. Of course he’ll do that even if you’re not an OM, but if you are then he’ll call you a “self-centered git.”

  8. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    As for nominees, I’ll just recycle last month’s post:

    For September October I nominate Jafafahots because he’s intelligent, witty, and something else that I forget AND A. Noyd for decisive, astute writing on numerous topics.

  9. Amphiox, OM says

    Congrats Louis.

    Actually can someone let me know what the OM privileges are?

    Been trying to figure that out myself, too.

    I think one of them is the privilege of getting mass impersonated by trolls….

  10. Louis says

    Congrats Louis.

    Actually can someone let me know what the OM privileges are?

    Been trying to figure that out myself, too.

    I think one of them is the privilege of getting mass impersonated by trolls….

    Let joy be unconfined!

    {And there was much rejoicing}

    Louis

    P.S. Actually this would suck. Obviously. But meh, we have have the handshake, the secret listserv and the Freemasonry to fall back on if identities are compromised.

  11. Dhorvath, OM says

    Can I now run naked through the halls towards the OM-nipresent Atheist Bacchanalian Orgy (with bacon)* TM?

    Err, there will be a message detailing orgy access coming your way.
    ___

    I forgot to vote last month. Phooey.

    For October: a step in a different direction. These two comments really defined the two very long threads they were in for me and I think are deserving of recognition cashforyourcars Red pill moment, and Realee Ignoring no

  12. Dhorvath, OM says

    And this may double post. Putting pill in a link is moderation worthy, eh?
    ___

    Can I now run naked through the halls towards the OM-nipresent Atheist Bacchanalian Orgy (with bacon)* TM?

    Err, there will be a message detailing orgy access coming your way.
    ___

    I forgot to vote last month. Phooey.

    For October: a step in a different direction. These two comments really defined the two very long threads they were in for me and I think are deserving of recognition cashforyourcars Red pll moment, and Realee Ignoring no

  13. says

    …shit they just revoked my PhD in chemistry for saying that bit even in jest. Hey, come back! Come back! I was kidding! Please let me have it back. I worked so hard. WAAAH!

    *snortle*

    Congrats Louis!

  14. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Not sure if we relative newcomers can vote,

    Your vote counts the same as mine. The one votes that don’t count are self nomination, or for obvious trolls.

    Congratulations to Louis. The invitation to the initiation orgy is in transit via Pullet Patrol™ Courier Service. They may use the Pharyngula Global Trebuchet™ if we have your coordinates, so check your roof in a couple of days if no Pullets show up at your door by then.

    Where’s my notes????? *searches frantically*

  15. Sili says

    Do I {looks around carefully} get to make the joke about Snow White and Prince Charming’s wedding night without {dramatic pause} repercussions?

    Yes, please.

  16. says

    Congratulations, Louis!

    Nominating:

    Jafafahots, who has been ignored much too long and always has sharp, insightful comments.

    A. Noyd, who writes with clarity, incisiveness and patience.

  17. otrame says

    Alright, Louis. Congratulations, love. Save a place for me at the orgy; I’ve had the hots for you since forever.

    And I think it’s time A. Noyd gets recognition. He (or possibly she, idk) doesn’t comment every day on every thread, but when h (she) does, idiots go **SPLATT** in a very satisfactory way.

  18. Louis says

    I’m voting for Esteleth and Pteryxx. Both are enlightening, disturbing in the good way, and funny!

    Louis

  19. Louis says

    Otrame,

    The hots? For me?

    Meet me behind the bike sheds in 15 minutes. I would like to {ahem} discuss this terrible curse you seem to have developed!

    Louis

  20. Gregory Greenwood says

    Congrats, Louis, on a well deserved Mollification.

    Would Louis-Brand Orgies Inc. happen to have an online booking service, perchance…? I like my orgies with an extra helping of enthusiastic consent and hold the inhibitions.

    As for my nominations this month, I would like to go with A. Noyd and Pteryxx for sterling service in the trenches and conspicuous valour in the face of the enemy’s stupidity while repulsing various Zombie creationist and male supremacist infestations.

  21. RealityBasedSteve says

    Are you 100% certain that there WILL be bacon at the orgy? I only ask because certain confusions and misunderstandings over this particular issue has led to some embarrassment and at least one restraining order in the past.

    In any case, congrads!

    Stev

  22. Ichthyic says

    wow, Louis, you’ve come full circle round these parts.

    Now I get to finally say it:

    ‘Told ya.

  23. Louis says

    1) Gregory, the online booking system is up and running. The web address will be sent out by carrier pterodactyl. Using, of course, our cloned stock of ancient beasts.

    2) Steve, there will be bacon. There will always be bacon. There are vegan and vegetarian options too. We at Louis-Brand Orgies are inclusive of our meat-challenged friends.

    There will be no tofu. Fuck that noise. Fuck it hard. In the ear.

    Which in coincidentally the intermission entertainment. Who’d-a-guessed it?

    3) Icthyic. You were right. I hate it when that happens. Do it less. ;-)

    Louis

  24. Sastra says

    Congrats, Louis!

    The OM orgies are … well .. somewhat overrated. Or, perhaps I ought to say they’ve been a bit misrepresented. There’s bacon, yes — but only if someone decides to bring it themselves and it’s usually cold then. Ditto on the lesbians.

    However, conversation is lively: we’re already up to 23 ways to refute Pascal’s wager. And of course there are all sorts of secret handshakes, ceremonies, and rituals (the downside being that most of us soon realize that we broke away from organized religion at least in part because we had little taste for secret handshakes, ceremonies, and rituals.)

    There are also plenty of bananas, and we usually end the orgy with either a Monty Python movie, a Kent Hovind video, or Brownian doing some of his hilarious imitations of some of the non-Mollied commenters — a set which gets smaller and smaller each year, naturally. And I’ve never seen anybody do anything but sit on the so-called “spanking couch,” though it’s always been good for a laugh. Well, a chuckle. You’ll see.

    Sounds like you might liven things up some. That would be nice, actually.

  25. Sastra says

    Oh, I forgot. October. I’ll repeat my nominations from last month … and the month before:

    consciousness razor

    A. Noyd

    Both are consistently excellent and well past due.

  26. says

    Burn him, he’s a witch!

    (Just passing the mantel.)

    Seriously, congratulations, Louis. You’ll get used to it. (Get used to what? Well, you’ll find out.) ;-)

  27. chigau (本当) says

    Just storing this here
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden for November Molly.
    oh hell October, too.