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Category Archive: news

Jul 09 2014

“A Symbol Of National Unity”

I shouldn’t be shocked—hey, they’re only the news, They can say what they want with impunity— But it took me aback that they called a cathedral A “symbol of national unity”. It’s a beautiful building, I have to admit, (Darth Vader hides in the façade!) But it seems our one nation once deemed indivisible Separates …

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Mar 01 2014

“Protestant Work Ethic” Vs. “Atheist Work Ethic”

The “protestant work ethic” Was, we assumed, Underlying the gains we had made. A secular ethic, it’s Clear, left us doomed— And an atheist one, much afraid! Our country was built on the Fear of a God Who would smite us for sloth (it’s a sin) We have to believe, or It’s all a façade— …

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Feb 28 2014

Medical Miracle In Mississippi! (or, I am one cynical bastard)

The word “miracle” isn’t used lightly Such conclusions are best left unsaid There’s a time and a place for such words, though, Like the man who came back from the dead! They’d detected no pulse, and no breathing So they’d fitted his toe with a tag And they sent him away for embalming… But his …

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Feb 25 2014

Arguing God In The New York Times

We can’t disprove a God, you know, Cos God can’t be defined. The God you claim cannot exist Exists within my mind My God cannot be fathomed, and Will never be undone Each heart perceives Him differently But God is only One. We disagree on details, like His numbers, or His name, But clearly, all …

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Feb 15 2014

A Heart-Felt Love Ode To Antonin Scalia

It must be depressing, to be a Scalia, To see your words twisted in so many ways To see your dissent—Windsor’s warning—adorning The arguments cited in favor of gays! Virginia, Ohio, Kentucky—how lucky The activists were, that you wrote your dissent! Your snarking in Windsor turned, now, to a how-to; They probably know that it’s …

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Feb 01 2014

Rendering Unto Caesar

A little-known sacrament, hidden from view, But it’s there if you happen to search… Is the sacred ability—really, God’s right— For a renter to park at a church. The law is the law, and the rule is the rule, Though enforcement has been, well, relaxed… For over a decade, they’ve taken in money But this …

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Jan 28 2014

“We Assert That Images Of The Spiritual Leaders Of All Religions Should Be Deemed To Be Respectful”

So… if, by law, religious figures Are deserving of respect From the meditating Buddha To the Manson, spittle-flecked, From the image of Mohammed To the memory of Jim Jones, From Joseph Smith to Jesus Christ To dusty relics’ bones From the ancients on Olympus To the modern Kanye West, I’m required to respect them Shall …

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Jan 27 2014

Wait… A Town Is Going To Move Its Cross Without Going To Court?

Though the Christians could say “Batten Down the hatches!” here in Stratton They’ve decided unexpectedly to follow good advice: “You’d do best to cut your losses By distributing the crosses— Maybe put them in some private yards; I’m sure they’d still look nice.” Former Mayor, Fred Abdalla Found removal hard to swallow: “Move our crosses? …

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Jan 26 2014

Victoria’s Secret Kicks Out Nursing Mother

When a woman at the mall began behaving, well, parental And she used her breasts to feed her baby boy Some employees of a store that features breasts as ornamental Tried to force her to behave a bit more coy When they lavish them with laces, or with padding supplemental, It’s no Secret that Victoria …

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Jan 09 2014

Chris Christy–Model Politician

My eyes are getting misty As I listen to Chris Christie While he shows us his sophisti- Cated grasp of how things are So he canned some staffer lady Cos she acted really shady Which I heard on local radi- O, while sitting in my car I’ve been stuck here since September (When my rage …

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