So today or yesterday, I saw a letter to the editor in a local paper, chastising the editor for something mean said about Rick Perry. The writer was planning on voting for Perry, because “He tells us the truth as he sees it.”
The following is written in the West Texas song tradition, and may be sung with guitar, small band, or just a harmonica by the fireside. Yodeling, however, is a must. It’s a sweet 3/4 time, just a little bit faster than “Waltz Across Texas With You”.
“He tells us the truth as he sees it”
That surely deserves our respect
His view is not sullied by knowledge, or facts,
Or intelligence we can detect.
He’s a church-going, god-fearing Christian
And he’s honest as Sunday is long
There’s nothing that tempts him to change his beliefs
Like the fact that they’re utterly wrong
(yodeling part)
He’s suspicious of climate-change science
Evolution, and the age of the earth
But he’s steadfast and true in his ignorant stance
His resistance to change shows his worth
In hundreds of life-and-death matters
His was always the right choice to make
Though it’s better to execute innocent men
Than admit he could make a mistake
(more yodeling)
See, it just doesn’t pay to be truthful
When consistency makes you look right
If correcting mistakes made you rise in the polls
Then he would. Or he should. Or he might.
But it’s me, and the rest of us voters;
If we checked, then we likely could tell
Still we vote for the one with the prettiest lies
And together, we waltz off to Hell.
(A bit more yodeling)
And together, we waltz off to Hell.
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MikeMa
August 30, 2011 at 3:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Perry’s pandering pollutes the political process.
Nowhere near as creative as Cuttlefish but talent finds it’s own level! Cheers.
redwood
August 30, 2011 at 10:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great song, the anapest rhythm had me galumpin’ along in 3/4 time even before you mentioned the waltz. I could really see this being sung in a crowded honky-tonk by someone with one of those sincere country twangs–with the listeners slowly waking up to the meaning of the lyrics and getting royally pissed off.
Cuttlefish
August 30, 2011 at 10:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
You, Redwood, as they say… got it. On further rumination, I do hear a fiddle after the second yodeling break. Damn, I want more musicians to read this blog!
Physicalist
August 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s been a couple decades since I’ve sung at an Open Mic, but if I were to do so again, I’d sing this tune.
F (entropy)
August 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ha! Friggin’ awesome. I actually heard music!
longhorn10
August 31, 2011 at 12:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is brilliant! As an escaped Texan, I can delight in the music. As a rationalist, I can connect with the message. Thanks for writing this one.
The Lorax
August 31, 2011 at 7:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I find it strange how people can like people like Bill O’Reilly because… they’re stubborn. They stick to their guns. … this is a good thing? I thought open-mindedness was preferable. Not so open that your brain falls out, but still. People HATE me because I’m stubborn… is it because I’m not a politician?
He’s liked because he keeps his song
Even if we prove him wrong
I don’t get it.
Sam K.
August 31, 2011 at 9:05 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
also goes great to the tune of “American Pie” :)
Sam K.
August 31, 2011 at 9:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Clearly this is missing with my sense of reality, too…
I meant “Piano Man”!
AlanMacandCheese
August 31, 2011 at 9:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“He’s a drug store, truck drivin’ man”
Rune C. Olwen
September 2, 2011 at 7:20 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yodeling is a good idea towards this handsome candidate.
(I do hope I don´t get indicted by US PC laws for using the “dumb blonde”-stereotype on a man)
I wanted to say for a long time that I enjoy your site, Cuttlefish.
Dr. Strabismus (WGP) of Utrecht
September 4, 2011 at 7:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Cuttlefish:
I do hope you sent this in to the newspaper that printed that inspirational letter?
In which I am unimpressed with Hitchens | Pharyngula
August 30, 2011 at 5:06 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
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