One more Sims update

Thanks to everyone who thought my atheist Sims were more hilarious than they were creepy. Someone requested that I upload them, so I did. If you have Sims 3, you can now download Richard Dawkins, PZ Myers, and Hemant Mehta for your own use.

There have been requests to make other famous atheists (Phil Plait, Dennett, Hitchens, etc), which I may do if I have enough time or get bored enough. I still like PZ’s idea of having Ken Ham and Kent Hovind being a cranky gay couple next door. Incredibly tempting… Though I would just let them run wild through the town instead of controlling them. Three sims were hard enough for me to control, now I have four (Hemant’s wife) and a kid* and my micromanaging skills are starting to fall apart.

*As a side note, I got geekily excited when I saw the Sims boasting its “Genetic Algorithm” or whatever for deciding how babies would look. I thought maybe it would just blend the traits of the parents or something. Nope. The baby gets mom’s mouth, skin color and hair color, and dad’s nose, eye color, and hair type. I chose a pale blonde surgeon for Hemant’s wife…so his kid is this pasty white kid with bright blond hair that’s short and curly (I know he doesn’t have curly hair, but it was the short haircut that looked the best). So yeah, the kid looks absolutely nothing like him. Sorry SimHemant. I promise I didn’t see her sleeping around with other Sims.

Sim Atheists

So as I mentioned before, I bought Sims 3 this week. Usually I make myself and then a bunch of my friends, and then scatter celebrities (fictional and non) around the neighborhood. There’s just something oddly amusing about playing chess with Johnny Depp and marrying Harry Potter (or whatever).

Well, Sims 3′s editing options are so detailed that you can really make Sims look like the original person. So my odd mind obviously thought, “Why don’t I make a house full of famous atheist Sims?” Enjoy:
Sim Richard Dawkins
Attributes: Genius, Bookworm, Good sense of humor, Charismatic, Ambitious
Life wish: Become leader of the free world (Dawkins being in charge? Yes please.)

Sim Hemant Mehta
Attributes: Friendly (duh), Good, Charismatic, Vegetarian, Family Oriented (Was going to pick Hopeless Romantic or Flirt, but cheated a bit to make his life wish easier…)
Life wish: Have five children and raise them to teens (With all of Hemant’s baby posts, I found this oddly appropriate. Not quite his goal of octuplets, but close! Let’s see if he can restrain from eating them before they reach adulthood.)Sim PZ Myers
Attributes: Genius, Bookworm, Good sense of humor, Charismatic, Computer Whiz
Life wish: Become a creature-robot crossbreeder (Dear lord I nearly peed my pants when this choice came up. How could I NOT choose that for PZ?)

I can’t explain how much entertainment this has provided me over the last couple of days. It’s fun enough with all three of them sharing a house, but there are just so many little things. All of PZ’s outfits (formal wear, pajamas, etc) use the squid themed print I found, which was what initially spawned this terrifying idea of atheist sims. I’m still trying to find Hemant a baby mama, since that’s kind of necessary for his life goal (I promise to find someone cute!). The only real disturbing thing is whenever the Sims need to shower or use the bathroom. I mean, they blur it out so you can’t see any naughtiness going on, but I feel like a creepy voyeur. Of course, I don’t know if it can get much creepier than making Sims of random people you don’t really know and then controlling their lives like some sort of sick puppet master.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go hide in shame from being such a weirdo. Aka, go play more Sims. *runs off*

PS: You can click the images for larger versions, if you wish.

Curse you addictive video games!

Oh good lord, what have I done? Why? Why?!?!

…I bought Sims 3 today.

I played the original Sims back when I was 14 or so, and never got Sims 2 because my computer was too crappy. But now I have a snazzy computer and disposable income, so I thought why not? Now I’m forgetting to eat and sleep because I’m too busy telling a virtual version of myself to eat and sleep. I spent an hour and a half trying to make Sim Jen look as much like me as possible. Hell, there are probably 30 different facial traits and bone structures and crap that you can tweak. Gahhhh.

The ironic part? My current job is “Professional Blogger” and I still can’t get any guys to like me. Damnit, Sims 3. You’re supposed to be an escape from real life, not a brutally honest reflection of it. Oh well, at least I haven’t set fire to my real stove (yet).

I think it’s time to start making Sim versions of celebrities for me to hit on. Suggestions? I kind of want to make a mad scientist PZ as my neighbor. They even have squid themed pajamas!

And Japan fills in for Jennifer

I’m lacking inspiration at the moment – sorry folks. I’d like to blame the drugs, but I’m done with them and actually feeling great. I’m going home for the weekend, so maybe driving through rural Indiana will inspire me. Until then here are some videos from Japan that scare me and make me laugh at the same time:

Rock Band adventures!

With House, Heroes, and ANTM over for the summer, I decided I needed a new fun distraction. I hadn’t bought a new video game since Mario Kart Wii, so I decided to splurge and buy Rock Band 2. I had been debating about it forever, but now my excuse was that I have a job (moola!) and don’t have any classes any more…so great idea, right?

So with the Froommate I go to pick up my Best Friend (his girlfriend, who will be my new froommate in the fall…yay confusing relationships). Me buying Rock Band 2 is a momentous and joyous occasion for all of us, especially them, since they get to reap the benefits without paying any money. As I’m pulling into her driveway, I hear a loud ‘POP!’.

Me: That didn’t sound good.
Froommate: No, no it didn’t.

I get out of the car, and of course I have a flat tire. Thankfully Froommate has Man Training and changed the tire for me, while BF and I stood by and did our duty of supervising. Though in all honesty, we didn’t think either of us would have been strong enough to do it, which is kind sad…and why I’m starting to exercise.

Me: Aren’t you glad you showered before coming over?
Froommate: *sweaty greasy mess* =(
BF: Well, he shaved too, so that wasn’t a waste.
Me: No, the pure manliness of changing a tire produced so much testosterone he’s about to sprout a full beard!

Tire changed, we still made it to Game Stop to buy Rock Band 2, I bought him dinner as thanks, and we played for about 5 hours. Our band name is “Zinc Fingered.” BF and I, both being biologists, think this about the funniest thing in the world. Froommate, a chemist, is probably wondering why zinc is such a humorous element. Oh well.

Tomorrow I get to actually…you know, work and look into finding new tires. I think my replacement isn’t going to hang in there long, and I won’t be surprised if it’s flat in the morning. Sigh. Hooray for the real world.

Blog Carnivals

I again apologize for not updating lately. I barely survived dead week, and I’ve spent this weekend recovering by hanging out with friends and playing endless hours of Civ4. My plan of Hindu world domination is going quite nicely, mwahaha! It is annoying how you HAVE to be religious in order to do well in the game. Even if you try not to be, your cities will invariably get infiltrated by your neighbor’s religion. It’s like a virus. I’d love to see a future version of Civ where late in the game you can learn atheism to replace your religions. Like, maybe religion helps until you get until the industrial era…and then being religious actually makes you take longer to develop different sciences and technologies or something. Of course, people freaked out enough when Civ decided to include religion. If they played atheism in that light people would probably shit bricks.

Other than that, I need to start studying for all of my finals…blah. After that I’ll be much happier, though! I’m having a big end of the semester party at my place on Saturday, which should be full of debaucherous fun, knowing my friends. And then once I’m no longer inebriated from that, I will resume my regular posting schedule. Promise! The cherry on top of the semester ending is that my ex is finally moving out of the apartment, so no more drama dealing with him. It’s been a lovely three months, let me tell you.

Until then, here are some blog carnivals that I follow to keep you busy:
Carnival of Evolution # 11
Carnival of the Godless
Humanist Symposium #36

Harry Potter and the Horrible Video Games

There’s a new interview over at IGN about the 6th Harry Potter game for Wii. It looks like the new game will be just as craptacular as the 5th on. Yes, I bought the 5th Harry Potter game for Wii, but let me take a moment to explain myself. I’ve been a rabid Harry Potter fan since I first started reading the books when I was 11. Upon buying my Wii, there were practically no other games out other than Wii Sports and Barbie Ice Princess or whatever other junk they’re trying to sell to broaden the Wii’s target audience (to include 5 year old girls, apparently). While desperately scanning Gamestop’s selection, my eyes paused on Harry Potter. The conversation in my head went something like this:

“Don’t do it,” said Logical Jen. “It’s a mass marked piece of crap meant to have 12 year olds waste their mommy’s money.”

“But, but,” pouted Fangril Jen, “it’s Harry Potter. And for Wii! I can wave my Wiimote around like a wand and be magical!”

“It’s fifty dollars-”

“I WANT TO BE MAGICAL!”

And so I wasted 50 dollars. I amused myself for about an hour by flying a table around the Gryffindor common room and into the faces of my classmates. After that I was seriously disappointed that I couldn’t set everything on fire. If you give me a wand and the ability to make things spontaneously ignite, I don’t want to just light a fireplace. I want a Slytherin first year running around in fear. And honestly, would that be all that different than the chaos that goes on in the books? I’ll even settle for Filch chasing me around for being bad – as long as it’s realistic!

After the initial glee of foolish wand waving, however, I realized the game had absolutely no plot. It was an endless list of pointless mini games sending you from one end of the castle to the other. Not only that, but the Wiimote controls were so shoddy that you couldn’t even perform the spell you wanted half the time. I can go on and on about how horrible the game was, but I’ll sum it up in saying it is the only video game I’ve ever sold back to a store. Even Super Monkey Ball has somehow managed to stay on my shelf (it’s a great dust collector).

So why am I ranting about a game I gave up on over a year ago? Because it looks like EA Games is doing absolutely nothing to make the new Harry Potter game any better. I know I shouldn’t be surprised. I know this is just an easy cash machine for them, and making real gamers happy isn’t their goal. But it’s the principle of the matter.

They can potentially use the Wii Motion Plus to get great control for spell movements…but do they? No.

They can have endless amounts of interesting things to include from the book…but do they? No, they’re “true to the movie,” which is like saying it’s Harry Potter filtered through yet another level of shittiness.

They’ve had extra time to work on the game since the movie was pushed back…but do they? Of course not (Though it may have been beyond that point, I’m cranky, so I don’t want to give them the benefit of the doubt). Why try to make a game excellent when mediocre still makes you money?

I know my whining isn’t going to do anything about it, but it still annoys the hell out of me how games (and movies, and books, etc) will sacrifice quality for money. It’s the same reason why we’ll never see an full story Pokemon game for Wii. While it would be piss-your-pants amazing, Nintendo can make just as much money pumping out simpler sequels for their hand held systems. I just ask that someone stops me from buying Harry Potter 6 for Wii before the rabid fangirl in me takes over.