Aug 15 2010

Best atheist sex toy ever

I did leave out one highlight from my St. Louis trip because it was so awesome that it deserved a post of its own. I received what could very well be the Most Hilariously Creative Atheist Gift Ever:Me: *pulling gift out of bag* Oh, cute, a Flying Spaghetti Monster! …*thinking* Wait, what is it attached to? Is this a blind fold? …There’s more in the bag…
Me: …*look of confusion*
Everyone else: *looks of extreme amusement*

I’m now the proud owner of a Flying Spaghetti Monster bondage set.

Seriously, I’m not sure if this level of awesomeness can be topped. The St. Louis Skeptics have set the bar pretty damn high when it comes to creative godless gifts. I’m afraid to challenge future groups I visit to try and top this… but I’m not going to discourage them either.

Thanks for the awesome gift, St. Louis Skeptics, especially Claire, who I believe was the one who made it (if I’m wrong, please correct me! All your names started blurring together by 3am!). I think this is definitely a untapped niche market. Get cracking on that Atheist Sex Toy Etsy Shop!


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  1. 1

    …I’m afraid I cannot make any comments about this that are even mildly appropriate, or leave me with any secrecy about my tendencies. So I’m just going to say I want it, and leave it at that.

  2. 2
    Dave Wright

    Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “touched by his noodly appendage”, doesn’t it?

  3. 3

    I’m pretty sure that’s the only meaning of the phrase. Just be glad that the only noodly appendages on the gag go AROUND the head.

  4. 4

    You know, love the effort, but I don’t know that my sex life needs more of an agenda than it already has.

  5. 5
    The Ehtheist

    Yes, additional items for sale could include Red “A” nipple clamps and instead of a rabbit or dolphin, a wearable squid “personal massager” /euphemism. And for men, speedos that read “The Greatest Show on Earth” and an “Atheists leave it longer” t-shirt.

  6. 6

    *falls over giggling* Sorry… I /want/ to be an adult about this, I truly do, but… it’s just too damn funny…

  7. 7

    This would be the perfect FSMas gift for me, if anyone’s watching. Santa?

  8. 8

    …what agenda does your sex life already have? >.>Do you have a fetish for people who like to put political bumper stickers all over their body during sex?Cuz…if so, we should talk.

  9. 9
    Len Haluk

    How would one wear it? I’m pretty sure I don’t want to consult Google on this….

  10. 10

    How has no one made the “putting the S&M into FSM” pun yet?

  11. 11

    Wow, they must know you really well to get you such a perfect gift! XP

  12. 12

    That is A.MAZ.ING. You are a very lucky lady!

  13. 13
    Comrade Tiki

    For those into BDFSM.

  14. 14

    This is going to make for an interesting thank-you card…

  15. 15
    Sam Barnett-Cormack

    No, seriously, any other group about to host you will really be wracking their brains now…

  16. 16

    That is so freaking awesome!

  17. 17
    Joel Klinepeter

    Want… If they ever start selling them I’m SO buying one, it’d go great between my fur lined leather restraints and the chains and padlocks… 0_O

  18. 18

    Any idea where I can get this? Or how much this is? Cause this is freaking awsome, though not sure about the blindfold.

  19. 19
    Arctic Ape

    That is absolutely the cutest and most innocently adorable bondage set I’ve seen. Also, the strap material looks pretty classy. I wish there was some really fancy bondage gear that looked half this nice.

  20. 20
    Carrie Williams

    The real question is “How would you consult Google on this” LMAO

  21. 21
    Carrie Williams

    Yea thank you cards reads like this “Thank you for the special gift of multiple orgasms” LMAO

  22. 22
    Stormy Little Teacup

    Sexy (?!) AND functional, the perfect gift!

  23. 23

    That is just so Full of Win…

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