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Jun 14 2010

Relationship advice from Pat Robertson

What do you get when you ask Pat Robertson for relationship advice? Misogynistic bullshit, of course!

TERRY MEEUWSEN (co-host): Pat, this is from Anne who says, “My husband has always been a flirt and loves to talk with other women he finds attractive. He says he would never cheat on me but his actions are starting to get to me. What should I do?

ROBERTSON: Anne, first thing is you need to make yourself as attractive as possible and don’t hassle him about it. And why is he doing this? Well, he’s doing it because he wants affirmation that he is still a man, that he is attractive — and he gets an affirmation of himself. That means he’s got an inferiority complex that’s coming out. And he’s not gonna cheat on you. He’s just playing.

But you need to not drive him away or start hassling and hounding on him, but make yourself as beautiful as you can, as fun as you can, and say let’s go out here, let’s go there, let’s go to the other thing. So — and Terry disagrees.

MEEUWSEN: That’s a lot more grace than I do, Anne. Let me just say we’d be having a serious conversation.

ROBERTSON: Affirmation. Affirmation, dear heart.

Why do husbands flirt and cheat? Because you’re fugly. Go put on some makeup, already.

I would love to see Pat’s reaction if this was a man writing about his flirting wife. I have a feeling he wouldn’t be promoting “affirmation.”

(Via Slog)

27 comments

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  1. 1
    Sean

    the worst part is, he’s probably right about the need to feel attractive being a contributing force. So, to the people who listen to this douchenozzle, they think his advice is sound. At no point does he say they should have an open and honest discussion with each other. Nope, instead he basically tells her that if she looked better, he wouldn’t flirt around? When will this guy keel over already?

  2. 2
    Blackie

    I suppose if “Anne” had written in to say that her husband is beating her, Pat would have put it on her as well: “Dear Heart, you know your husband loves you…you just have to…you know, not start hassling and hounding on him…” Pat, please stop. You are hindering not helping.

  3. 3
    TheBigBlueFrog

    You’re exactly right. He’s got that same Judeo-Christio-Islamic double standard going on. Women bear all the responsibility for men’s iniquities.

  4. 4
    JT

    Here’s my advice to “Anne”:I’m going to go ahead and pigeon-hole your relationship. You both got married and let yourselves go, happens to most. Going to guess that he disproportionately let himself go as it is “culturally acceptable for a man to be overweight”(no…it isn’t. Everyone stop telling yourselves it is. I think it’s time we start being equal-opportunity in our superficiality. Which I suppose can mean we let women off the hook of maintaining high standards, or hold men to the same. I prefer option with lots of eye candy)That being the case, when he starts flirting with attractive women…cut his ass down. “Oh please honey…like she’d ever go for you!” then poke his gut (which I imagine is quite large). If he wants validation of his attraction based on purely superficial features…guess what. You earn that validation. Get thee to a gym! He has to deserve pretty things. Don’t go changing yourself for him if he isn’t equally concerned with the attractiveness of the person YOU married.I’d also like to add a “MmmHmm Grrl You need to ditch that zero and gitcher self a hero” complete with hand on hip complete with sassy finger and neck action.And stop asking this ass-hat about anything. Unless it is “Hey Pat, Can you drink this entire bottle of drain-o?” (Other toxic substances are also acceptable)

  5. 5
    Concerned Spectator

    What do you expect from Pat Robertson the Zionist? Zionism is not only racist, but sexist as well. The U.N. report that 85 percent of Gaza children wet the bed from fear of Zionist terrorist, yet Pat supports not only the terror but also the blockade that stops drynite disposable night pants from getting in, creating extra laundry for Palestinian mothers. Shame on you, Pat.

  6. 6
    mcbender

    What. The. Fuck.I’m not sure what the appropriate advice to give in this situation is – knowing next to nothing about the dynamic I’d probably go with “go see a professional counsellor” or “if it’s that much of a problem, get a divorce, you’ll both be happier” – but I can say unequivocally that Robinson’s advice is exactly the wrong approach.

  7. 7
    mcbender

    Err… Robertson, not Robinson.

  8. 8
    Introbulus

    “Go see a professional counselor” is probably the best advice I’ve heard yet. Talk show hosts, as charming as they may be, are not psychologists and cannot help you with your relationship problems. They will offer you little more than a quick fix solution, so that a week later you can say “boy, that worked!” and then a year later, when the problem has continued to persist, seek them out again because, by then, you’ve probably forgotten that the initial solution failed after one month.Relationships are difficult. They require communication, understanding, and SOME compromise. But you should never be made to compromise your self-respect for the sake of pleasing your spouse.

  9. 9
    ty_ping

    Well he try’s to “Psychobabble” it up by bringing up big old technical words like “He has an inferiority complex” and “He’s just trying to affirm he’s still a man” which is something that men say to excuse their unacceptable behaviour.He;; I would have accepted “Well humans aren’t naturally a monogamous species so instinctively he still wants to play the field. Ask him if he’s willing to have an open relationship or how he would react to you flirting, if he’s not okay with it, then potentially put a stop to his flirting as well and try to have fun together.”But that’s probably not religiously acceptable huh…

  10. 10
    Terri

    I wonder if he’d tell Elin Woods to pretty herself up.

  11. 11
    kendermouse

    Personally, I wouldn’t actually mind my husband flirting, but then again, I may not be the best example for this woman, as I live a non-monogamous lifestyle. But I’d tell her to remember, SHE’S the one he’s going home with, not that cute 19 year old behind the counter. That aside, If he’s openly flirting with other girls while they’re supposed to be having romantic times out together, I can see her irritation. That’s just flat out rude. In that situation, my recommendation of her best course of action would be to train/discipline him like one would a cat- bring along a small squirt bottle full of cold water in her purse, and everytime he starts smarming it up with another hottie on their romatic nights out, whip that sucker out, and give him a squirt, right to the face. I guarantee you, after awhile, he’ll either start to cut that shit out, or he’ll begin to associate water with arousal, in which case, she may have lots of shower sex in her future. *shrugs*

  12. 12
    Nelle

    Either way, it’s a win.

  13. 13
    Alicia

    It’s sad that people give this sick fuck so much of their money.

  14. 14
    Andrew Hall

    I think Dan Savage (of Savage Love) would say, “DTMF” (Drop The Mother F*cker).http://laughinginpurgatory.blo

  15. 15
    Mike O'Brien

    You are troll who has no idea what they are talking about.

  16. 16
    skepticalmedia

    The travesty or the tragedy here is that hundreds of thousands of morons send that asshole money to keep him on the air.

  17. 17
    Barret Denman

    I am also in a relationship with a little leeway. My wife and I are happy and very committed to each other but neither of us believes in flat out denying life experiences simply because it MIGHT hurt the other. If one of us wants someone outside the relationship we talk about it. Sometimes its a no, sometimes we both get involved but in eight years it has only come up six times where action followed through. Most the time it’s just playful banter or maybe simply pointing out a visually pleasing person to the other one. Flirting with mutual friends of ours is common and often a fun way to tease new friends. Communication, Communication, Communication. It’s the way to a valuable relationship.

  18. 18
    John Wesley

    Pat Robertson = bad.Okay, now that I’ve posted the required sentiment, let me address the woman’s question and Pat’s response. The whole “make yourself as beautiful as you can” thing? Complete and utter crap. The whole “be as fun as you can” thing? Might actually be useful advice.I’ve been married 6 and a half years. I love my wife. I couldn’t be more in love with her. She’s the only person on the planet that I completely trust. We have two beautiful children, and I would never, ever cheat on her.However, I often have the urge to flirt with other women. Out of respect for my wife, I keep all conversation with other women merely at the friend level. However, sometimes it takes a conscious effort to stop something flirty from coming out of my mouth. Why? I’m an extrovert. My wife is an introvert. Her idea of spending quality time together is the two of us reading separate books in bed, or maybe playing a quiet game of cards after the kids are asleep. My idea of quality time is talking and laughing with her, being flirty, going outside to watch the sunset, giving each other “the business.” I try to think up fun and socially stimulating things for us to do. She tries to shoot those ideas down and find an excuse to stay home, stay quiet, and (above all else) go to bed early. (I am secure in the knowledge that I am my wife’s second great love. Her first is the back of her eyelids.)I don’t want another woman. I certainly don’t need a prettier woman. I just want the woman I have to (on occasion) be as fun, exciting, and flirty as she was when we were dating. Occasionally, I meet fun and outgoing women who seem to enjoy interacting with me, and I would very much enjoy flirting with them. Just to feel alive, and excited, and like I have a purpose for existence that, for once, does not revolve around my family. I think if my wife sometimes (just sometimes) behaved more like she did before we had kids, I wouldn’t feel that desire as much.As for Anne, if her husband’s flirting is a serious problem for her, then he should respect her opinion and cease his flirting. However, if she cares anything at all about the root cause of her husband’s flirting, she might want to consider Pat’s “be as fun as you can” advice.

  19. 19
    kendermouse

    Oh, absolutely. I can’t stress enough how important honesty and communication are in any relationship, let alone one that’s non-monogamous. I just couldn’t resist the squirt bottle bit.

  20. 20
    plublesnork

    Dear Pat,Fuck you.Regards,LordAsparagusP.S. Fuck you.

  21. 21
    Arancaytar

    > he wouldn’t be promoting “affirmation.”Yes; the other way around, he would probably be promoting a stoning.

  22. 22
    Givesgoodemail

    The SpouseĀ® had something to say about this issue.

  23. 23
    grindstone

    Who knows what the real dynamic is here? This man could really be flirting. Or the wife could be a jealous freak. (I say this only because a coworker recently asked me if my husband was jealous of all my flirting. I was dumbfounded. What I considered civil interaction with human beings, my coworker saw as flirting. I explained that if you wanted to see real flirting, my husband was the champ. It’s one of his charms, and I mean that sincerely.)Or the wife might be exhausted from raising his seven kids and has no time for him, and he needs to step up.Or maybe she has let herself go, or ignores him.Who knows? Only the husband and wife.Off the cuff marital advice is bullshit. Marital advice from this delusional tool is marital suicide.

  24. 24
    Collin Pearce

    Roberton is useful in his way though. He’s a shining example of how a Christian should never be.

  25. 25
    Patrick Neal Russell Julius

    You get misogynistic bullshit when you ask Pat Robertson about ANYTHING.

  26. 26
    Patrick Neal Russell Julius

    The mating system of humans is still hotly debated in the scientific community.We are polygynous… or monogamous… or polyamorous… or, uh, really confused… So it’s not strictly accurate to say that humans aren’t innately monogamous; because we don’t really know what we are.

  27. 27
    Maria

    Well, there’s only one way to find out what Pat Robertson would say if it was a wife who was flirting around, and that’s ask him. I was curious, so I went on the website for The 700 Club, posed as a man, and sent him the following email: “My wife has always been a flirt and loves to talk with other women she finds attractive. She says she would never cheat on me but her actions are starting to get to me. What should I do?” Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or interest to watch The 700 Club, but I would like to know what he says, if he answers. It’ll probably be some misogynistic bullshit.

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