Time to play Kill, Sleep With, or Marry:
(If you’re not familiar with this game, you were obviously never a teenage girl. Select one person for each action)
Farrah Fawcett
Michael Jackson
Billy Mays
As awful as it would have to be to tolerate a lifetime of Billy Mays’s yelling, I still think having sex with him would be more horrible. So I’m going to say kill Michael, do Farrah, and marry Billy. Unless we’re talking Thriller-era Michael, in which case do Michael, marry Farrah, and kill Billy Mays.
Thoughts?
Am I a horrible person?
EDIT:
Me: Having sex with Billy Mays would be fucking horrible
Friend: “HI, I’M BILLY MAYS AND I’M EJACULATING IN YOUR VAGINA!”
Me: LOL
Me: omg I hate you. I’m in a computer lab and trying not to tear up and die laughing
Friend: “AFTERWARD, WE CAN CLEAN IT UP WITH KABOOM!”
Friend: “BEHOLD, THE POWER OF OXYCLEAN!”
Me: STOP IT
Me: omg a professor is laughing at me
At least he’s more horrible than I am.
17 comments
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Philip
June 29, 2009 at 12:30 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oh, I'd be all over some Billy Mays. He's the man. Marry Michael Jackson. Cause he made Thriller. I'm a slut for the undead. And on second thought, I change my answer to sleep with Farrah. Cause.. I'm straight.
Philip
June 29, 2009 at 7:30 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Oh, I’d be all over some Billy Mays. He’s the man. Marry Michael Jackson. Cause he made Thriller. I’m a slut for the undead. And on second thought, I change my answer to sleep with Farrah. Cause.. I’m straight.
Eddie VanBogaert
June 29, 2009 at 3:08 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Ha! Win.
Eddie VanBogaert
June 29, 2009 at 10:08 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Ha! Win.
BeamStalk
June 29, 2009 at 7:10 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Okay I am glad I am in my office alone after reading the exchange with your friend.
BeamStalk
June 29, 2009 at 2:10 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Okay I am glad I am in my office alone after reading the exchange with your friend.
jemand
June 29, 2009 at 8:26 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd be with your second list. Do (thriller period) Jackson, marry Farrah… (hey does that mean gay marriage is legal?) and Kill Billy.
jemand
June 29, 2009 at 3:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d be with your second list. Do (thriller period) Jackson, marry Farrah… (hey does that mean gay marriage is legal?) and Kill Billy.
Andre Vienne
June 29, 2009 at 8:51 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yeah, I agree with this wholeheartedly.
Just one question:
What do we do with Ed McMahon?
Andre Vienne
June 29, 2009 at 3:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yeah, I agree with this wholeheartedly.Just one question:What do we do with Ed McMahon?
BeamStalk
June 29, 2009 at 10:51 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
"What do we do with Ed McMahon?"
All three things?
BeamStalk
June 29, 2009 at 5:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“What do we do with Ed McMahon?”All three things?
Yellow Hat Guy
June 29, 2009 at 9:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Don't be so quick to judge Billy Mays, as he has the superhuman sexual prowess bestowed upon all hairy bearded men.
But wait! There's more!
In addition to his wang, he can also forge 1d6 sub-wangs from Mighty Putty. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination!
Yellow Hat Guy
June 30, 2009 at 4:07 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Don’t be so quick to judge Billy Mays, as he has the superhuman sexual prowess bestowed upon all hairy bearded men.But wait! There’s more! In addition to his wang, he can also forge 1d6 sub-wangs from Mighty Putty. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination!
GG
July 5, 2009 at 1:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
damndamndamn i can't breathe! classic.
GG
July 5, 2009 at 8:51 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
damndamndamn i can’t breathe! classic.
gonefortheday
April 23, 2010 at 9:13 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read.