Fortress America? Sure , why not?

Now that we are in a mode of relentless one-upmanship in finding ways to keep these pesky furriners out at all costs, one-time favorite and now floundering Republican presidential candidate Scott Walker says that building a wall along the US-Canada border is a “legitimate issue we need to look at”.

That border is 5, 250 miles long. The US-Mexico border is 1,954 miles, so Walker clearly hopes to make Donald Trump’s wall look puny. Walker has not yet said if he will get the Canadians to pay for his wall, the way Trump assures us the Mexicans will.

One has to expect any moment that Bobby Jindal will realize that the coast of his state Louisiana is utterly exposed too and will suggest that we need to build a wall all around the contiguous 48 US states in order to prevent people coming by sea, because these immigrants are a crafty bunch and will take advantage of every opening. After all, we know that people have rowed across the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

Of course, Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico would be still unprotected and this still leaves open the possibility that people will sneak into those regions by sea and then fly into the mainland, so will need walls for them too.

I sometimes wonder if Trump is secretly laughing at how easily he can get the other candidates to make themselves look ridiculous. Or maybe he has investments in the building industries and hopes to make a killing with all this wall-building.


  1. Chiroptera says

    And don’t forget to make the door swings out. In case the United States catches fire, we don’t all want to pile up at the door preventing it from being opened.

  2. says

    Skydiving is a possibility, so you’d think a dome would be the way to go, but then there’s tunnelling, so really the only option is for the United States to seal itself away in a giant Tupperware container.

  3. raven says

    You have missed the point.

    Walker’s Wall will be like the Berlin Wall. It’s not to keep Canadians out. It is to keep Americans from fleeing north after the GOP establishes Xian Hellhole America.

    And I’m sure the Canadians will pay for part of it at least. What would they do with 100 million desperate, newly destitute, panicky Americans fleeing north?

    PS Canadians love to laugh at the USA. I can’t blame them, since we are so wacky. But the two countries are highly interconnected to the point where some of my relatives were born in Canada. If the USA goes down, so does Canada.

  4. raven says

    As pointed out many places already, we can’t even keep our infrastructure up and running, roads and bridges. Every few months, a bridge collapses somewhere.

    So how are we supposed to build a 5,000 mile wall and keep it repaired? Where is the money coming from? I’m sure Walker has his usual solution, which is magical thinking.

    (Knowing Walker, it will be cutting school lunches and food stamps for children.)

  5. says

    I’m surprised Walker or some of the other clowns didn’t advocate the US try to invade Canada again. Occupying the whole land mass means three oceans, no need for walls, plus ther are plenty of resources to steal. Or is Walker one of the few Americans who actually knows about the war of 1812, which is why he isn’t suggesting it?

  6. StevoR says

    @4. raven : “Where is the money coming from?”

    The Canadians of course just like the Mexicans will have to pay for their one too! After all, once they see who the US people have actually elected if a Republican esp. Trump /Walker gets in they’ll be more than happy to wall themsleves off from such a mass of insanity!

    I wonder if any of the Republicans promoting this strategy have ever thought about the “walling off” from the rest of the world that Shogunate Japan did to itself back in the days of sail (& into early steam age) and how that worked out for them and thought about the implications there? Or North Korea, East Germany, etc .. more recently

  7. StevoR says

    @2. Tabby Lavalamp : If my vague memory of watching ‘Under the Dome’ is anything to go by, didn’t that Dome extend all the way around underground too? So that could work! Or not as albeit some weird mystic gateway thingamajig also existed? Also y’know fiction & nothing like it possible to build with today’s technology.

  8. says

    StevoR @8 -- I think so, but I stopped watching the show near the beginning of season 2 because it was just so very, very bad. (It should have been a single season event series.)

    Anyway, Tupperware technology already exists, so a container just needs to be made on a much bigger scale. Bonus: It’ll keep America fresher for longer!

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