Are you a real Republican?


The good officers of the Republican party in Laurens County in South Carolina have developed a checklist that they will use to see if you have the right beliefs, attitudes, and practices to be endorsed by them. The 28-item ‘Republican purity pledge as it is being called includes the following:

You must oppose abortion, in any circumstances.
You must uphold the right to have guns, all kinds of guns.
You must endorse the idea of a balanced state and federal budget, whatever it takes, even if your primary responsibility is to be sure the county budget is balanced.
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.
You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.

Who could resist signing such a pledge? I can see that people are going to be joining the party in droves.

I noticed that there was no mention that you have to believe in god, which surprised me. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the complete list of 28 items to see if it was there.

Comments

  1. Zugswang says

    Guess that means we don’t have any “true” republicans, as I sincerely doubt any office holder hasn’t done any of the last three you highlighted. It’s hard to practice what you preach when your sermons are so overtly contradicted by reality.

  2. Steve LaBonne says

    I noticed that there was no mention that you have to believe in god, which surprised me.

    Since we’re talking South Carolina and Republicans, they clearly (and, I’m sure, rightly) thought that would go without saying. The contrary is literally unthinkable to them.

  3. Anonymous Atheist says

    http://www.kansascity.com/2012/03/06/3471663/south-carolina-gop-says-purity.html

    ““The state party does not endorse this action, and no county party can legally keep a qualified candidate off the ballot,” said Matt Moore, executive director of the S.C. Republican Party, referring to state regulations that require only that candidates meet age requirements, not be convicted felons and live within the area they seek to represent. “It’s against state law to add anything on to that.””

    So they can’t require it, but just like espousing Christianity isn’t an official requirement to run for President, it can easily be a powerful unofficial expectation.

    Also, part of the motivation for this happening in that particular county:
    “In June, Laurens County Sheriff Ricky Chastain, a Republican, admitted to an extramarital affair with a woman who worked at the county’s detention center. At the time, Smith and the executive committee of the Laurens Country Republican Party called on Chastain to resign. Chastain, who remains in office, is seeking a fourth term as sheriff.”

    That article also mentions another of the pledge points:
    “Hold a high regard for U.S. sovereignty and be committed to peace through “strength in foreign policy”.”

  4. shouldbeworking says

    So I can support slavery, equal rights for white heterosexual males (if they are xian), and support the application of the death penalty for all felonies? As long as the road past my house is free of potholes and my taxes are kept very low, I see no problem. Where do I sign up? As long as they accept Canadian currency for the fees, I’m in.

    Well, no one told me you had to be a citizen of the US!!

  5. Anonymous Atheist says

    Eureka! I found the actual full pledge! 😀

    From http://www2.wspa.com/news/2012/mar/05/6/laurens-co-republicans-asking-candidates-sign-supp-ar-3355191/ :
    http://www2.wspa.com/mgmedia/file/1082/laurens-county-republican-party-candidate-platform/ (PDF)

    Omitting most of the points’ elaboration, here it is:

    Laurens County Republican Party Candidate Platform Pledge

    I, __Candidate’s Printed Name___, do solemnly pledge that I have read the South Carolina Republican Party Platform (“Platform”) in its entirety and do pledge that I subscribe to the principles of the Platform as generalized below. I pledge that I will seek to uphold the Platform and understand that the Laurens County Republican Party will seek to hold me into account should I be negligent in acting according to its principles.

    General Principles of the South Carolina Republican Party Platform

    •(1) Continued efficiency and accountability in Government Restructuring
    •(2) Policies which restore public confidence in the Judiciary
    •(3) Constitutional adherence to States’ Rights
    •(4) A Tax Policy which promotes prosperity
    •(5) An end to racial and gender Discrimination and Affirmative Action
    •(6) Strict adherence to Ethics in Government

    The Party expects our public officials to live within the confines of principle, virtue, and law. Our state and nation cannot long survive without such standards. As James Madison, “The Father of the Constitution,” himself has said “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.”

    •(7) Governmental protection of Constitutional Property Rights
    •(8) Legal recognition of the Right to Life

    We acknowledge that all human life, born and unborn, has intrinsic worth. We believe that the unborn and the newborn child have a fundamental right to life which must not be infringed. Accordingly, we believe that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protection should apply to unborn children. We support the reversal of Roe v. Wade through judicial action or through passage of a Constitutional Human Life Amendment. The Party is totally opposed to chemical, surgical, or any method of abortion on demand and the use of public revenues to pay for abortions or to fund organizations which advocate abortion.

    •(9) Freedom in the job market through The Right to Work
    •(10) Ensure the Integrity of the Election Process
    •(11) A swift, sure, and true Criminal Justice system
    •(12) Opposition to state-sponsored Gambling
    •(13) High regard for the institutions of Marriage & Family

    The South Carolina Republican Party considers the sacred institution of marriage as fundamental to the stability, betterment and perpetuation of our society. Many economic, emotional, and physical ills in our culture could be avoided if abstinence before and faithfulness in marriage were the standard of behavior. We oppose efforts to redefine the marriage unit to accommodate proponents of homosexual “marriages” and oppose any legislation which legally recognizes same-sex marriage, civil unions, or allows such couples to adopt children or provide foster care.

    •(14) The abolition of Pornography in our society

    The South Carolina Republican Party condemns the publication and consumption of obscene, pornographic and sexually violent material, as a major contributor to moral decay and a fundamental threat to our domestic tranquility. We favor legislation to prohibit the distribution of obscenity and pornography by print, telephone, television, video, computer, the Internet, or any other means.

    •(15) The valid role of Religion in our culture

    The South Carolina Republican Party recognizes the importance of religion throughout the history of our state and nation and opposes any attempts to regulate religious institutions, or impinge upon personal religious freedoms.

    •(16) Tougher efforts to stop Substance Abuse
    •(17) A compassionate and moral approach to Teen Pregnancy

    The party also understands that children often follow the model of their parents with regard to sexual behavior. We therefore call upon the adult population of this state to act with moral integrity on this critical issue.

    •(18) A commitment to Peace Through Strength in Foreign Policy
    •(19) A constitutional view of the Right to Bear Arms
    •(20) A high regard for United States Sovereignty
    •(21) A Balanced Budget and Eliminate the Deficit
    •(22) Transparency of Government Revenues and Expenditures
    •(23) Incentives to make the Economy grow
    •(24) Increased educational options and a return to academic excellence in Education
    •(25) An effective and sensible policy on the Environment
    •(26) Consumer Driven Health Care
    •(27) Highway Transportation and Safety
    •(28) An agenda to empower Senior Citizens

    The South Carolina Republican Party firmly believes that sound moral and fiscal principles are complimentary to one another, not antagonistic. By emphasizing the importance of family and personal responsibility, and by focusing on what we can do for our communities and ourselves rather than on what government should be doing for us, we can strengthen the moral fiber of our society. It is our firm, God-inspired belief that the full implementation and application of the foundational principles set forth by the South Carolina Republican Party in this Platform will permit us to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and to our posterity.

  6. Mano Singham says

    Thanks! And congratulations on your internet sleuthing skills.

    The whole thing is loaded with coded language, e.g. “A swift, sure, and true Criminal Justice system” means they want the death penalty; “Ensure the Integrity of the Election Process” means voter ID and other restrictive laws; and so on.

    As for “We favor legislation to prohibit the distribution of obscenity and pornography by print, telephone, television, video, computer, the Internet, or any other means”, all I can say is “Good luck with that!”

  7. Anonymous Atheist says

    Looking at that pledge further, the widely-reported hilarity about a politician signing this having to personally promise to not have sex outside of marriage and not look at porn ever again, don’t seem to be explicitly in there.

    One could say they’re implied, but this seems to me to be only promising that the politician agrees it’s a ‘good idea’ for the population as a whole to not do those things and will support legislation in that direction, and there’s a long tradition of saying things like that while ignoring it in their personal lives.

    Who knows, though, maybe the version we’re seeing has been ‘cleaned up’, and it could’ve been more personal in an earlier draft that hasn’t been made public?

  8. lordshipmayhem says

    Is there a list of requirements for an artificial Republican? I’ve often felt that Rick Santorum is a poorly-programmed automaton.

  9. bahrfeldt says

    Laurens County Republican Party Candidate Platform Pledge

    •(1) Continued efficiency and accountability in Government Restructuring (= Restructure all levels of government in our own image)

    •(2) Policies which restore public confidence in the Judiciary
    (= Restructure all levels the judiciary in our own image)

    •(3) Constitutional adherence to States’ Rights (= CSA, CSA!!)

    •(4) A Tax Policy which promotes prosperity (= Ours)

    •(5) An end to racial and gender Discrimination and Affirmative Action (As defined by us)

    •(6) Strict adherence to Ethics in Government (As defined by us)

    The Party expects our public officials to live within the confines of principle, virtue, and law. Our state and nation cannot long survive without such standards. As James Madison, “The Father of the Constitution,” himself has said “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.”

    (I am Yaweh your god, you will have no other gods before me. No man-made images of anything. Observe God’s Sabbath instead of the Pope’s “Lords Day”. Fat Chance)

    Hypocrites.

  10. Anonymous Atheist says

    Ah, but note that although “all human life, born and unborn, has intrinsic worth”, it’s only “the unborn and the newborn child” that “have a fundamental right to life which must not be infringed.” Once someone is beyond the age of newborn, it’s fine to infringe on their right to life – it has some unspecified quantity of intrinsic worth, but it’s not uninfringeable anymore. 😉

  11. dan-o says

    That is PERFECT! Now how do we get this sent to all counties, state and national government officials for their signature. God Bless AMERICA!!! I have found my new pledge/oath for conservatives.

  12. StevoR says

    So. Did they get any takers? Who can believably have kept *all* these?

    All the guns you want?

    Up to what, rocket launchers? Anti-aircraft guns, those huge guns they have on battleships? Nuclear weapons? No limits?

    Oh well who needs porn when you have all the guns you want?

    Er, hang on a minute I think there may be cause for concern there.

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