The good officers of the Republican party in Laurens County in South Carolina have developed a checklist that they will use to see if you have the right beliefs, attitudes, and practices to be endorsed by them. The 28-item ‘Republican purity pledge as it is being called includes the following:
You must oppose abortion, in any circumstances.
You must uphold the right to have guns, all kinds of guns.
You must endorse the idea of a balanced state and federal budget, whatever it takes, even if your primary responsibility is to be sure the county budget is balanced.
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.
You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.
Who could resist signing such a pledge? I can see that people are going to be joining the party in droves.
I noticed that there was no mention that you have to believe in god, which surprised me. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the complete list of 28 items to see if it was there.
Guess that means we don’t have any “true” republicans, as I sincerely doubt any office holder hasn’t done any of the last three you highlighted. It’s hard to practice what you preach when your sermons are so overtly contradicted by reality.
And of course no Republican would ever lie to get on there.
Since we’re talking South Carolina and Republicans, they clearly (and, I’m sure, rightly) thought that would go without saying. The contrary is literally unthinkable to them.
http://www.kansascity.com/2012/03/06/3471663/south-carolina-gop-says-purity.html
““The state party does not endorse this action, and no county party can legally keep a qualified candidate off the ballot,” said Matt Moore, executive director of the S.C. Republican Party, referring to state regulations that require only that candidates meet age requirements, not be convicted felons and live within the area they seek to represent. “It’s against state law to add anything on to that.””
So they can’t require it, but just like espousing Christianity isn’t an official requirement to run for President, it can easily be a powerful unofficial expectation.
Also, part of the motivation for this happening in that particular county:
“In June, Laurens County Sheriff Ricky Chastain, a Republican, admitted to an extramarital affair with a woman who worked at the county’s detention center. At the time, Smith and the executive committee of the Laurens Country Republican Party called on Chastain to resign. Chastain, who remains in office, is seeking a fourth term as sheriff.”
That article also mentions another of the pledge points:
“Hold a high regard for U.S. sovereignty and be committed to peace through “strength in foreign policy”.”
So I can support slavery, equal rights for white heterosexual males (if they are xian), and support the application of the death penalty for all felonies? As long as the road past my house is free of potholes and my taxes are kept very low, I see no problem. Where do I sign up? As long as they accept Canadian currency for the fees, I’m in.
Well, no one told me you had to be a citizen of the US!!
Eureka! I found the actual full pledge! 😀
From http://www2.wspa.com/news/2012/mar/05/6/laurens-co-republicans-asking-candidates-sign-supp-ar-3355191/ :
http://www2.wspa.com/mgmedia/file/1082/laurens-county-republican-party-candidate-platform/ (PDF)
Omitting most of the points’ elaboration, here it is:
Thanks! And congratulations on your internet sleuthing skills.
The whole thing is loaded with coded language, e.g. “A swift, sure, and true Criminal Justice system” means they want the death penalty; “Ensure the Integrity of the Election Process” means voter ID and other restrictive laws; and so on.
As for “We favor legislation to prohibit the distribution of obscenity and pornography by print, telephone, television, video, computer, the Internet, or any other means”, all I can say is “Good luck with that!”
Looking at that pledge further, the widely-reported hilarity about a politician signing this having to personally promise to not have sex outside of marriage and not look at porn ever again, don’t seem to be explicitly in there.
One could say they’re implied, but this seems to me to be only promising that the politician agrees it’s a ‘good idea’ for the population as a whole to not do those things and will support legislation in that direction, and there’s a long tradition of saying things like that while ignoring it in their personal lives.
Who knows, though, maybe the version we’re seeing has been ‘cleaned up’, and it could’ve been more personal in an earlier draft that hasn’t been made public?
Is there a list of requirements for an artificial Republican? I’ve often felt that Rick Santorum is a poorly-programmed automaton.
Laurens County Republican Party Candidate Platform Pledge
•(1) Continued efficiency and accountability in Government Restructuring (= Restructure all levels of government in our own image)
•(2) Policies which restore public confidence in the Judiciary
(= Restructure all levels the judiciary in our own image)
•(3) Constitutional adherence to States’ Rights (= CSA, CSA!!)
•(4) A Tax Policy which promotes prosperity (= Ours)
•(5) An end to racial and gender Discrimination and Affirmative Action (As defined by us)
•(6) Strict adherence to Ethics in Government (As defined by us)
The Party expects our public officials to live within the confines of principle, virtue, and law. Our state and nation cannot long survive without such standards. As James Madison, “The Father of the Constitution,” himself has said “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.”
(I am Yaweh your god, you will have no other gods before me. No man-made images of anything. Observe God’s Sabbath instead of the Pope’s “Lords Day”. Fat Chance)
Hypocrites.
Nah! that would be a religious test. That would be unconstitooshunul!
#8, the Right to Life, seems like it would also prohibit the death penalty.
Ah, but note that although “all human life, born and unborn, has intrinsic worth”, it’s only “the unborn and the newborn child” that “have a fundamental right to life which must not be infringed.” Once someone is beyond the age of newborn, it’s fine to infringe on their right to life -- it has some unspecified quantity of intrinsic worth, but it’s not uninfringeable anymore. 😉
That is PERFECT! Now how do we get this sent to all counties, state and national government officials for their signature. God Bless AMERICA!!! I have found my new pledge/oath for conservatives.
So. Did they get any takers? Who can believably have kept *all* these?
All the guns you want?
Up to what, rocket launchers? Anti-aircraft guns, those huge guns they have on battleships? Nuclear weapons? No limits?
Oh well who needs porn when you have all the guns you want?
Er, hang on a minute I think there may be cause for concern there.