Creation “Museum” honored

This month’s Mad magazine (I know, I’m probably the only person over 14 who doesn’t like vomit jokes who ever cracks the magazine open) has a feature on the the 20 dumbest people, events, and things of 2007, and guess what won a slot on the list?

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(click for larger image)

Finally there is compelling evidence that the theory of evolution is wrong! For proof positive that man’s intelligence has not evolved in eons, consider the Cro-Magnon brained imbeciles behind the recently opened Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. The museum’s exhibits don’t merely challenge science, they ignore it completely! It’s the only place in the world you can see man riding bareback on a dinosaur — except, of course, in an old episode of The Flintstones.

Too bad it only made #14. Ken Ham needs to try harder and bring on the dumbth.

(Coming in ahead of the Creation “Museum” are Michael Vick, GW Bush, Don Imus, Britney Spears, the Walter Reed Army Hospital, the Anna Nicole Smith paternity trial, Paris Hilton, Lisa Marie Nowak, toy recalls, Isaiah Washington, Keith Richards, Scooter Libby, and the Sopranos finale. I admit that the competition at the top is awfully fierce, but it should have placed higher than 14.)

Assessing email

Here’s a useful formula devised by Jessa to evaluate creationist hate mail, called the Creationist Rant Absurdity Phenomenon Index:

CRAP Index = M + 10(µ + Ω + I) + 10(F + σ + ρ) + (H)(1.0 x 106)

Where:
M = number of words in all capitals
µ = number of misspelled words
Ω = number of superfluous quotes around words or phrases
I = number of exclamation points
F = number of factually incorrect statements
σ = number of times the words “Darwinist,” “evolutionist,” etc. are used (double points for “evilutionist”)
ρ = number of insults
H = number of statements that the recipient is going to/will burn in/will rot in Hell

Somebody needs to code up a mail plug-in that will automatically score incoming mail for me…although I fear that F, σ, and ρ are probably difficult for software to recognize at this point. I also think there ought to be extra points for sequential exclamation points. Maybe we need a simplified index that is machine-calcuable.