Maybe health care would be cheaper.

I have just received a message from The Almighty Lord on twitter, re the kinds of expletives people use when excited.

Strangely enough, you’re right. People shout My Name when they have sex, because I am all one can think of when they’re orgasmic.

This is all wrong, a myth that another patriarchal myth has promoted to his advantage. I have carried out extensive empirical research in this area for approximately 35 years, and not once have I encountered a woman who shouted out any deity’s name at any time during sex. However, I have discovered one consistent phenomenon, a remarkably robust pattern of behavior that I’ve seen over and over again, in almost ten thousand encounters. There is one name that godless women frequently evoke at the height of passion.

Mine.

Next time some sneering, mocking Christian asks you what atheists say during sex, you’ve now got the data: they moan “…PZ…”. Who are you going to trust on this, some imaginary ghost in the sky or Science?

Finally, Mr Deity notices what’s been written about him, and his wrath is righteous. It’s too bad he seems to have lost his knack for slam-bam smiting, though.

The Templeton Foundation really must run this ad. I’d applaud their honesty if they did…but they won’t.

At last, we have a president who can give a Vulcan salutation.

How will we ever recover from this discovery of a profound inconsistency in evolutionary theory?

I blame whoever gave Will Farrell his Ph.D. in Science.