You just can’t hide in darkness anymore

I don’t know why, but it’s so satisfying to see a liar exposed. Lauren Boebert was thrown out of a theater for being loud, disruptive, and vaping. She denied it all, of course. But boy, surveillance video tech has gotten scary good, and she was caught on video doing all those things. Bonus: her boyfriend copping a feel and the two of them getting a bit handsy.

Next time I’m in a dark theater, I’m going to be conscious that someone might be watching everything. Not in Morris, though — we’re about 30 years behind the times on everything.


  1. kome says

    I’m almost certain that she did all this deliberately just so there would be a news story of her out on a date with a new guy, just to make her ex-husband jealous. Granted, she is also a very selfish idiot, so it is very possible she was just acting normally without that kind of thought going through her head.

  2. says

    She just proved that she is the trailer-trash queen of congress, again! Our? nation is getting desperately polarized in three ways: financial inequity, intellectual ability and level of honesty.

  3. Akira MacKenzie says

    This is why there needs to be educational requirements for holding public office. It won’t get rid of all the obnoxious, proudly anti-social jerks, but it will help.

  4. says

    PZ I want to make 2 important points. 1) behind the times is not always bad, so many new devices and software are crap. 2) Isn’t your Morris theater a co-op? That is wonderful. It means that people control it rather than some huge abusive corporation. You can prevent over-surveillance and abuse.

  5. whywhywhy says

    #4 We don’t need educational requirements. We need to control campaign spending and limit the influence of money.

    This will have the effect of limiting the ignorant and stupid. At the moment the big money interests choose most of our elected officials and they like them stupid. Stupid politicians are easier to control and guide in order to protect the interests of money.

  6. Waydude says

    #8 Agree in part. Def need reform on money in politics but at this point maybe not an educational requirement, but I think you should have to pass some sort of civics test or basic competency test on how government works, along with sections on ethics etc
    I’m just an airline pilot and the amount of tests I have had to take plus yearly reviews, training, and testing is staggering compared to holding public office

  7. benedic says

    Not on topic but PJ might be interested to know that the Tomb of Montaigne has just been discovered. He was interred in the Couvent des Feuillants now the Musée Acquitaine of Bordeaux and the tomb there has just been confirmed to be that of the- former mayor Montaigne

  8. uncategory says

    #10 Trae Crowder is so insightful, and hearing that wisdom come out of his mouth in that Tennessee Whisky Tango accent is just delightful.

  9. whheydt says

    Since the requirements for the critical offices are written into the Constitution, states can’t just impose additional requirements as they wish. So…my suggestion that that as part of filing to run, the standard US citizenship be administered and the resulting scores released to the press and published in voters handbooks. That will give everyone at least some access to information about each candidates knowledge of US government.

    As regards Boebert specifically…in 2022 she was re-elected with a margin of around 550 votes. So there is a reasonable chance that she won’t be re-elected in 2024.

  10. says

    What a silly, self-entitled twit! At a concert, play, performance, whatever, where the audience is seated, it is customary to remain seated, not throw your arms around, etc. during the performance. That is to allow the rest of the audience to enjoy the performance in peace and to respect the performers. After a worthy performance, by all means, stand up, clap, cheer–whatever–to show appreciation, but AFTER the performance is over.

    This woman is a member of the US Congress. Yikes.

  11. mamba says

    #14, “member of congress” just means she has a built-in sense of entitlement so I’m not even surprised at this.

    I would be shocked if she didn’t say to management at some point, “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???”

  12. rblackadar says

    Bingo. That’s exactly what she said, multiple times, to the security guy, all while flipping the bird.

    If anyone in the audience didn’t know who she was that night, it’s a sure bet that they know it now. Unfortunately, since this happened in Denver, not in her home district, these people (with few exceptions) won’t be among the 550 needed to vote her out in 2024.

  13. wzrd1 says

    The last time I saw someone with similar behavior and being barely capable of remaining in their seat, they were intoxicated with MDMA.
    The entire video, all I could think of is, “ants in her pants”.

    Reginald Selkirk @ 1, I’m sure that that woman was a very, very sad and miserable person, thanks to Spenditmore ants in her pants and her grabby escort.
    A real class act – from the rear of the trailer park.

  14. johnson catman says

    WAIT!! So Boebert was lying when she claimed that she didn’t do those things in the theater that she was accused of doing? I’m SHOCKED! SHOCKED I say!!

  15. beholder says

    Kinda creepy to have these cameras everywhere.

    I guess it leads to moments where team A imagines that team B feels shame about something (Lou Boebs doesn’t feel shame, unfortunately), but I’d honestly rather live in a society where movie theaters and bathrooms aren’t constantly monitoring me.

  16. Dan Phelps says

    It is really noticeable early in the video, well before she vapes or takes photos, that she moves around a lot more than other audience members. I suspect some sort of chemical “enhancement” use or a really bad case of adult hyperactivity disorder. This is far beyond just fidgeting in a seat like a little kid might do.

  17. birgerjohansson says

    If you finance your political career by cooking meth, you should not sample your product.

  18. says

    Marcus @24 — Holy fuckballs, YES! If they want to drug test all us little people (for employment, benefits, or any other reason not compelled by a warrant or medical reasons) they should damn well be drug tested, too!

  19. wzrd1 says

    So, we now want to be progressive by bringing back Jim Crow poll tests? Regression is the new way forward?
    To run for office is a right equal with the right to vote. Requiring testing or taxes are both methods overturned that deny that right to specific segments of the population.
    So, what other rights are we to discard without legislation or amendment?

  20. StevoR says

    @ ^ Marcus Ranum : Agreed 100%. For Aussie parlt as well as the Congress and elsewhere.

    Other interviews noted that political staff and parliamentarians would drink in their offices – including when parliament was still sitting.

    “No problem with people having a drink at the end of a workday, but (for us) the work hadn’t ended, ” said one anonymous interviewee in the report.

    Another recalled a time when they were “drunk on free booze” in a parliamentarian’s office: “You’ve got this room of 20-year-olds with a 60-year-old man … plying them all with alcohol in an enclosed room, in a professional office building. It’s not a recipe for good professional behaviour. ”

    Notably, some epic political booze-ups have made their way into Australian popular culture. Former prime minister Tony Abbott is said to have broken a marble coffee table in the prime ministerial suite during a wild night of drinking in 2015, after he lost a leadership spill to Malcolm Turnbull. And former prime minister Bob Hawke was also the famous possessor of the world record for skolling a yard of ale. A biography of John Howard, Australia’s second-longest serving prime minister, revealed he admitted to once being “drunk at work”.

    Source :

    ‘Barnaby Joyce slurred his words and struggled to make sense during a bizarre performance in Parliament in Question Time on Wednesday.’

    The only local review, from True Crime News Weekly, which has long been following Barnaby’s star:

    ‘During Question Time at Federal Parliament on Wednesday 4 August, a ruddy-looking, red-faced Joyce put on an intoxicated performance for the ages in the House of Representatives.’

    Source :,16693

    Australian PM Malcolm Turnbull has chided his predecessor, Tony Abbott, for once missing parliament because he had been “too drunk”. Mr Abbott has revealed he failed to make a key vote in 2009, while a shadow minister, after drinking too much wine the night before. ..(snip)…”I was disappointed. I cannot remember anyone else missing a vote because they were too drunk to get into the chamber, but the fact is that Tony has ‘fessed up to it, he knows it was an error or whatever,” Mr Turnbull said. Mr Abbott toppled Mr Turnbull for the Liberal Party leadership later in 2009, only for Mr Turnbull to reclaim it in 2015, when Mr Abbott was prime minister.

    Source :

  21. chrislawson says


    Bob Hawke’s famous skol is probably apocryphal and part of his own self-promotion (yes, Australian politics is weird…is there any other country where a politician would enthusiastically encourage stories about their own drinking prowess to appeal to blue-collar workers?). Regardless, it happened when he was a uni student, not when he was meant to be working.

  22. John Morales says

    Context, chrislawson.

    He publicly announced in 1980 that he would abstain from alcohol to seek election to Parliament, in a move which garnered significant public attention and support.


    Pretty obviously, the idea was that the more of a drunkard he’d been, the more meritorious his new sobriety. Pretty successful marketing, in retrospect.

  23. whheydt says

    Re: wzrd1 @ #26…
    My proposal wouldn’t deny anyone the right to run for office. All it would do give a modest indication of whether or not they know what the office they’re running for does, and how the government works. If people still want to elect clueless idiots, they’d still be able to, but the rest of us could point to the test scores and laugh at them.

  24. Chris Whitehouse says

    You all seem to be missing the important aspect of this story.
    Imagine how she would have been acting if she didn’t have Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior!
    What if Family Values weren’t the first thing she thinks about every morning?
    What if One Man One Woman Abstinence Separate Bathrooms wasn’t her mantra?

  25. Doc Bill says

    Dunno about Morris.

    I think they would let Trophy Wife stay and sweep out the bum.

    Just sayin’ …

  26. hillaryrettig1 says

    When I said I wanted a classless society, this isn’t what I meant.

    I also don’t think this is what HL Mencken (RIP) meant when he coined the term “booboisie.” I wonder if even that famous cynic would be surprised at how low we’ve fallen.

    @kome2 – I find your theory compelling.

  27. Reginald Selkirk says

    Lauren Boebert says she ‘fell short of values’ after Beetlejuice groping video

    Lauren Boebert, the US congresswoman, has issued an apology after being kicked out of a performance of the musical Beetlejuice in Denver for inappropriate behavior, an experience she has called “difficult and humbling”…

    1) What ‘values’?
    2) It is notable that she is breaking the conservative creed of ‘never apologize, never admit you were wrong.’ I wonder what that’s about, since she has no conscience.

  28. wzrd1 says

    Reginald Selkirk @ 34, three words have gotten me out of all manner of trouble and mayhem over the decades.
    “I fucked up”. Admitting to a fuck-up tends to deflate any wrath being directed, as one is admitting to not defense, but simply fucking up and we all fuck up from time to time.

    For shits and giggles, let’s say I was doing a Lauren, which is well, highly unlikely. Vaping in the theater during the performance. “I really forgot that I did and doing so is wrong, I fucked up and apologize” and everything blows over.
    Doubling down gets more headlines, but they’re far from complimentary and being proved a liar is far more long term damaging.
    But, she was, erm, totally off the wire in the entire performance, to the point where admitting to being chemically altered would be a far less damaging excuse. It wasn’t all that long ago that the Senate would eject a member over such behavior, but alas, the tea party normalized a lot, Trump normalized abnormality to the extreme and civilization is now no longer in vogue for some.
    Which is one of the explanations of bog mummies, imposing of civilization upon those unwilling to behave civilized.
    Not an advocacy at all, my preference would be a one way rocket trip to Venus, with preferential release in the upper atmosphere, for planetary protection reasons.

  29. ANB says

    I’m reminded of a man in an airport who didn’t get on the flight he wanted. He shouted to the poor airline attendant, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!!?

    She got on the intercom and broadcast to all, “Ladies and gentlemen, do you know who this guy is? He has apparently forgotten his name.” (Or words to that effect).

    That is a true anecdote.

  30. says

    This is why there needs to be educational requirements for holding public office. It won’t get rid of all the obnoxious, proudly anti-social jerks, but it will help.

    That’s nonsense. Each year we take our classes to an outing at the cinema. I’ve done it with kids as young as year 5. None of them ever behaved this way, because they absolutely know that there’s accountability

  31. says

    Something to note about the show she was at is that it is a family show so children may have been in the audience. Everyone should remember this the next time she rambles on about drag queen story time being too sexual for kids.

  32. Ichthyic says

    and the award for biggest Slippery Slop Fallacy goes to this:

    “So, we now want to be progressive by bringing back Jim Crow poll tests? Regression is the new way forward?”

    fucking. ridiculous. be ashamed. be very ashamed.

  33. wzrd1 says

    Ichthyic, so poll testing is good.
    But, not Jim Crow?
    Who would be dis-included first under such a requirement?

    As for the response of it being voluntary and only as a test score to disqualify, that’s what speeches are for and debates are for and they worked well, just look at the resounding success of Hillary vs Trump’s debate, with Trump thundering around her like a one mule herd of cattle.
    Frankly, in such a debate, I’d have tripped him as he walked behind me with my cane.

    Why not go fascist mode Heinlein and require only citizens vote, citizenship being defined by serving in the military? Only citizens allowed to serve in the government, of course.
    And all allowed to serve. Even as crash test dummies.
    The Starship Troopers world, where idiocy reigned.