We won. Everything is woke now.

Here’s a list of 200+ things that Fox News has labeled “woke”. It includes everything, the Federal Reserve and CIA and capitalism and corporations and Chick-Fil-A and the IRS and NASCAR.

Fox News might have a little problem — they can’t define it, but they’re seeing “woke” everywhere they look.


  1. hemidactylus says

    At the end of the day is there any difference between Fox News talking heads and Jerry Coyne who is all ate up about wokeness too? Seeing him come unhinged when commenters try to push back is priceless.

  2. says

    So, most of us here have awakened every morning to the fact that we are not, but, would need to be, brain-dead and not ‘woke’ to be in step with the hateful forces of pop society? Hey, I’m glad to step aside and let the idiots of popular society drool on. I woke up long ago to the fact that there are a lot of hateful stupid megalomaniacs trying to run everything.

  3. Snarki, child of Loki says

    If the MAGAts would only follow their God-Emperor Trumps advice and drink a pint of Lysol right before bed, they won’t have to worry about being “woke” ever again.

    But they’re just cowardly wimp snowflakes.

  4. stuffin says

    “they can’t define it, but they’re seeing “woke” everywhere they look.”

    Maximum paranoia. Just another form of fear, their favorite tool for controlling their viewers.

  5. Matt G says

    Reminiscent of Dylan’s Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues. Red stripes in the American flag!! The horror!!

  6. flange says

    “Woke”, used as an epithet by Republicans, means, “Anyone, or any group that cares about other people.”

  7. tomc5 says

    So, I have been wondering, if the people they don’t like are “woke” are they self-describing as “Sleepies”?

  8. bcw bcw says

    It’s just one woke over the line, sweet jesus.

    … now, if you’re the right age, you’ll have a tune going in your head all day.

  9. whywhywhy says

    Is ‘woke’ just another way of saying “reality has a liberal bias”.

  10. imthegenieicandoanything says

    We’ve become Droopy to all the stupid evildoers everywhere!
    When any MAGA buys anything, sees anything DOES anything, their eyes will be ejected from their skulls with an A-OOOO-GA! klaxon when we appear and say: “Hello, Joe.”

    What shitty, knock-off Nazis they are now.

  11. microraptor says

    whywhywhy @14: “Woke” is just another way of saying “I’m old and irrelevant and hate these kids on my lawn.”

  12. says

    Even “roadhouse blues” has gone woke.
    …”I woke up this morning and I got myself a meal.”

    And didn’t Ronnie James Dio kill the woke anthem “Rainbow in the dark”?

  13. hemidactylus says

    Misheard lyrics? “Well, I woke up this mornin’ And I got myself a beer”. The Lizard King can do anything! So a meal isn’t out of the question, especially given the stigma of day drinking the woke push on us every day.

    I love myself some Dio. Ozzy was too harsh on him. Of course Black Sabbath just screams CRT and Satanism. We must ban it. Oh I just time jumped to a previous moral panic. Satanic panic. And Ozzy was misunderstood with “Suicide Solution” but at least he desecrated the Alamo with piss while wearing a dress. Super woke that! I can only fantasize about desecrating the Alamo in that way. Mess with Texas!

  14. jo1storm says

    Just replace holy with woke and I think a quote from late Sir Terry Pratchett is in order, from the book Carpe Jugulum (1998) is in order.

    “Either all days are holy or none of them are.” Mightily Oats, doubting omnian priest as he starts to realize that rituals of his religion are fake.

    “You fool! Since early childhood you trained us to recognize holy symbols of all religions to build immunity and they are usually simple geometric shapes. Now everywhere I look I see something holy!” Young vampiress to her father, once that immunity has magically worn off.

    “Double-headed Axe is not a holy symbol, you silly little man. It cannot harm me!” Chief vampire to Mightily Oats.
    “Oh, I see. Let’s make it so.” Mightily Oats, two seconds before using said axe to chop chief vampire’s head, thus making it a holy symbol in the process.

    “Everywhere I look, I see something holy.” Omnian priest Mightily Oats, after coming to peace with the fact there will always be part of him that doubts, sees the world as it is and knows that there is no justice in the world but that we humans make ourselves. And the part of him that believes in good and evil and hopes that there is god Om (which, in Discworld, there is).

    Fox News are the vampires here, they trained themselves to see wokeness everywhere. And they think it is a bad thing. “Reality has a liberal bias” indeed.

  15. says

    On the other hand they can’t define fascism either. That’s the only explanation I have for their continued campaign to accuse the left of being both fascist and communist.

  16. hemidactylus says

    @21- Ray Ceeya
    I waver a lot on fascism. I mean fashy seems an apt label for what’s going on on the Trumpian right but authoritarianism seems to capture it better. Technically fascism happened under Il Duce in Italy and the overt racialism of Nazism was a bastardization of that. Corporatism itself is a hard to grok confusing thing that may not carry all the baggage. I like hurling the fashy label at evil people, but was it historically confined to a time and place? I dunno. This isn’t a distinction to be taken lightly. Authoritarianism is far more easily applied.

    Communism too is sorta problematic. Democratic socialism seems more apt for what I like. Less tankie. I think in terms of Camus v Sartre a lot. People like Jonah Goldberg on the right tend to not do nuance well. I don’t want to be like him.

    I do appreciate identity politics. Atheism is definitely a form of that for better or worse. There’s of course that versus the apt pejorative of class reductionism and I think identity is kinda important. Yet Fred Hampton was a rainbow guy. They assassinated him!

  17. StevoR says

    @19. hemidactylus : “I can only fantasize about desecrating the Alamo in that way. Mess with Texas!”

    Aussie so my USA history might be off but didn’t Mexican General* Santa Anna mess with Texas pretty successfully Alamo~wise?

    Of course if memory serves Mexico did eventually lose much of its former land to the USA (saw a pretty impressive meme featuring the original Mexican extension into what’s now United States America t’other day**) so, yeah, that didn’t last but still.

    .* Plus President as it turns out : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_L%C3%B3pez_de_Santa_Anna

    Indeed President five times or maybe six depending in fact..

    .** Different map here but see : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexico#/media/File:Mexico's_Territorial_Evolution.png as well as the old ‘New Spain’ that preceded Mexico :


    Which included Texas, California – a much larger new California, Florida and, huh, Loisuania was Spanish before it went French? Did not know that before.

    Any chance Mexico could take over Florida again? Can’t see them doing a worse job than DeathSantis.. & putting Mexico in charge of Mar-e-lago (translating as “Sea of lake” en espanol?) might have its advantages..

  18. John Morales says

    [such a digression!]

    The USA has the Alamo, Aussies have the Eureka Stockade.

  19. John Morales says

    [Since it was asked]

    Mar y Lago (“Sea and Lake”) would work, in Spanish. The actuality does not.

    (In Spanish, “e” is used instead of “y” when the following word sounds similar to “y”, but is not appropriate otherwise; an interesting lexical rule applicable to pronunciation)

  20. John Morales says

    [PPS obs, it’s “Mar-a-Lago” which would transliterate to “Sea-at-Lake”, with no ‘e’]

  21. StevoR says

    @ ^ John Morales : Ah. Okay, thanks for that.

    Prescient name given the rise in sea levels due to Global Overheating will mean the sea will come to the Floridian lakes fairly soon? But then not so much once the seas permanently cover them I guess.

  22. Larry says

    John Morales @ 26

    Of course, the same thing can be said about ‘murica in that there was no such nation prior to the english, spanish, russian, and french colonizers. Literally, everything belonged to the natives who occupied the land across the entire breadth of the continent and had done so for thousands of years before the arrival of the Europeans. In fact, the same is true of south america, australia, and the pacific islands.

  23. Silentbob says

    @ ^

    Yeah but even that is wrong because there was no concept of the land “belonging” to anyone.

    The whole concept of land as a possession is a colonizer concept foreign to indigenous peoples.

  24. R. L. Foster says

    I scrolled through that long list with great interest. By the time I reached the end I came to the conclusion that Fox should say what is NOT woke. A short list to be sure.

  25. KG says


    There were quite a few overtly fascist parties in interwar-Europe (e.g. Oswald Mosley’s “British Union of Fascists”), so it’s surely right to apply the label to them. Many other parties (such as the Spanish Falange) had such similar ideologies it seems perverse not to call them fascist, and in particular, Nazism seems to be a subtype of fascism combined with virulent antisemitism. The application of “fascist” to post-1945 parties and movements is complicated by the fact that fascists have had obvious reasons for denying their fascism, but also because fascist ideology is unusually maleable, particularly with regard to economic policies – that goes back to Mussolini, who switched freely between market-based and state-led approaches as seemed politically advantageous – but also in allowing for exceptions: one of the Nazi leaders, I think Goebbels, said “I decide who is a Jew”, and the Japanese were classed as “Aryans”. In the modern far right, the stuff about the “traditional family” and the cult of masculinity does not prevent there being female leaders such as Le Pen and Meloni. All in all, I would consider “fascist” to be a “family resemblance” term – there’s a bunch of characteristics which prototypical fascists and fascist parties share, and different parts of the modern far right share different subsets of those characteristics.

  26. KG says


    That’s a considerable over-generalization at best. It could hardly apply to empires such as those of the Inca and Aztecs, or to kingdoms such as those of Hawai’i and Tonga, but even non-state peoples would typically defend the land they occupied or used from outsiders, so in that sense at least they considered it theirs, if not in the sense that land could be bought and sold.

  27. wzrd1 says

    KG, I believe the term you’re looking for isn’t land ownership, but territory possessed by the group/tribe/nation. The Iroquois Confederation was decidedly a government, a democratic government at that, complete with a constitution, who decidedly have a concept of territory ownership and even land ownership for farms and such, although most farms weren’t a lord and lady of manner affair, but familial plots and group plots.
    Indeed, it is the very stuff of sociologists dreams to be able to study such groups in a pristine state. Especially, given the vast number of permutations humanity has expressed even on smaller continents.

    Interestingly, the Iroquois women elected the tribal and national leader and the women of the leader’s own clan would strip an unfit leader of his wampum of office, if they failed to do, their clan could be voted out of any position of power or allowance to vote for leadership for as long as the group consensus decided.
    It was a hell of a lot more stable of a system than the European system of whoever could get more guys with great huge butcher knives to hack and one another being in charge.