All cops are agents of chaos

Every line of this story is a horror.

A mob of cops
   [always a bad sign]
gathered at a library
   [on duty cops? please stay away from the public]
during working hours
   [so when, like, other people were there]
to get trained in
   [don’t they have isolated places for training?]
whacking civilians with a baton.
   [oh. so appropriate. our tax dollars at work]
He showed off his quickdraw
   [cowboy. rugged individualism. frontier justice]
with a loaded pistol
   [wait, what? what about safety?]
and accidentally shot
   [oops. should be passive voice. coptalk. “a gun was discharged”]
a fellow cop, killing her.
   [could have been worse.]

The actual news story, so you don’t think I’m exaggerating.

A woman shot Thursday afternoon during a Special Police training session at a Washington, D.C. library has succumbed to her injuries, police said.

First responders were were called to the Anacostia Neighborhood Library at 1800 Good Hope Road SE shortly before 3:45 p.m. for the report of a shooting.

Police say the special officer who was shot was “unconscious and not breathing” when first responders arrived.

The D.C. Public Library system confirmed the woman was shot in a downstairs meeting room during a Special Police training session. A retired D.C. police lieutenant conducted the training on how to use an extended baton, Chief Robert Contee said.

Sources familiar with the investigation told News4 that when the trainer drew a pistol to illustrate how quickly it could be done, he fired one shot, striking an officer in the chest.

Homicide detectives were called to the scene to investigate. They are looking into why the trainer had live ammunition.

Arming cops is like giving a troop of baboons access to an armory.


  1. Rich Woods says

    Why didn’t all those good guys with guns promptly gun down the dangerous criminal who drew first and shot their colleague? Haven’t they ever seen a Western?

  2. raven says

    Arming cops is like giving a troop of baboons access to an armory.

    It’s been done before.

    Russia behaves like “a monkey with a nuclear grenade” – Ukraine at UN 2 days ago.

    It is working as well as you would expect.

    Russian missiles kill at least 23 in Ukraine, wound over 100 › Business › wireStory › russian…

    Jul 14, 2022 — Officials said Kalibr cruise missiles fired from a Russian ship in the Black Sea damaged a medical clinic, offices, stores and residential …

  3. mastmaker says

    If a TRAINER of cops, not to mention COPS themselves could not be trusted to handle the weapons safely, WHY ARE WE TRUSTING EVERY MORON IN THE COUNTRY to do so!
    Second Amendment is the very noose on our necks.

  4. mordred says

    You know, I’d really try to get the hell out of the way of any German cop going for his gun, but in the US you really found an even better class of morons!

  5. says

    Sometimes the way to stop a good guy with a gun is another incompetent good guy with a gun. It’s a start, but this approach will take too long.

  6. says

    What was he doing using a real gun in a training exercise? A number of companies offer coloured plastic and rubber objects that look like actual guns for exactly that purpose.

  7. whywhywhy says

    My first reaction involving any police shooting is to not trust the police report. Were there witnesses who are not police and don’t depend on the police for their living?

    Effectively, a rookie cop shot his partner/trainer when they were responding to a call about a guy with a gun. The rookie has a dad who was higher up the line of command at the police force and his dad was able to change the report to blame the guy with the gun for shooting the police officer. Here is the kicker: two years later after a full investigation the only police officer to face any consequences was the trainer, she failed to turn on her camera and faced consequences for that (in addition to being shot). The police union is still trying to determine how to respond and the shot officer is still recovering and unable to return to work (everyone else is active in the Cleveland police force).

  8. whywhywhy says

    Oh, I forgot to mention that the guy with the gun is in prison for shooting an officer (which he did not do).

  9. myfanwyhertz says

    “…the woman was shot in a downstairs meeting room…”

    Is that a euphemism?

    Nah, I shouldn’t make light of it, it’s yet another poor sod dying. Fuck.

  10. lakitha tolbert says

    Notice the passive voice being used in the article: A woman was shot…as if a random bullet just came from “we don’t know where”, and hit this woman!
    No, you spineless creatures! Someone SHOT the woman.

  11. Matt G says

    I wish I could say unbelievable, but this is America, where anything can happen, and usually does.

  12. Pierce R. Butler says

    I first read that last line as “like giving a troop of baboons access to an attorney” – and shuddered. (IANAL)

  13. Alan G. Humphrey says

    What I find disturbing about this story is that the trainer was a retired police lieutenant. This was in Washington, DC and because of their gun control laws I have a feeling that this trainer was in uniform, and the gun was part of that uniform. Retired police should not have special dispensation to violate the law. Open carry is illegal in DC, so this should be investigated as a violation of that law. Causing a death while committing a felony is a possibility in this case. No one should be above the law.

  14. whheydt says

    If they really want to train cops to be effective with a baton, send them to the nearest SCA fighter practice. Not only will they learn how to use the baton, they will also learn what it feels like to be hit with one…and then learn how to keep going after being hit. They’ll also learn how to use a shield properly and might even learn how to set up a proper shield wall.

  15. wzrd1 says

    I’m with leerudolph. Baboon libel, why is PZ insulting innocent baboons?
    Besides, it’s more like giving a 5 year old daddy’s gun.

    @lakitha tolbert,, there’s a term for this that remains rarely used, but is entirely accurate. Negligent discharge.
    Why is the negligent retiree still armed after proving careless, lethal negligence with a dangerous firearm?

  16. Alan G. Humphrey says

    @ whywhywhy #18
    Zero, unless the shootee’s family has powerful allies in the mayor’s office or police union.

  17. silvrhalide says

    “Arming cops is like giving a troop of baboons access to an armory.”
    I would have gone with “…giving whiskey and car keys to teenagers”… baboons are actually smart and tough. Oh yeah, they can work together cooperatively too.

  18. StonedRanger says

    I get the baboon analogy sort of. But baboons dont need guns. They can literally just pull your arms off if they got mad enough.

  19. Rob Grigjanis says

    silvrhalide @22:

    baboons are actually smart and tough. Oh yeah, they can work together cooperatively too.

    We humans are where we are because we are smart, tough and can work together cooperatively. Those aren’t virtues. Primates, like other intelligent orders, are largely distinguished by our predilection for being arseholes.

  20. John Morales says

    A reference to Get Smart?

    (KAOS being the international organization of evil)

  21. bcw bcw says

    The cops didn’t get their stories straight in time. Everyone knows that when you accidentally shoot yourself or someone else when practicing your quickdraw, that’s “fired while cleaning your gun.” Did you ever wonder why there are so many “cleaning the gun” accidents when the first action in gun cleaning is to remove the ammunition and open the chamber?

  22. fishy says

    The sad, sad, so sad part about this is that cops have a very poor knowledge of firearms. They get most of there training from movies. ” lock and load”
    What they do understand is crime and fear. They engage in both