Bargain basement second coming


Anyone in Dallas today? There is a small crowd of wackaloons gathering at AT&T Discovery Plaza to await the resurrection, the second coming, the beginning of a new era. It’s not Jesus Christ they eagerly await, though — it’s John F. Kennedy Jr..

JFK Jr died in a plane crash at sea in 1999. His decomposing body and that of his two passengers were recovered after 5 days of decay and marine scavengers had been at him. I don’t think he survived.

QAnon followers have gathered in Dallas, Texas, where they believe John F. Kennedy Jr. will reappear and announce Donald Trump is president.

A large crowd of QAnon believers descended on the AT&T Discovery Plaza on Monday, ahead of the supposed return of the deceased JFK Jr. before midnight today.

The Daily Beast contributor Steven Monacelli shared several photos that showed a dozens-strong crowd, with some wearing t-shirts that said “Trump: JFK Jr. 2024.”

Right, “dozens”. I think we’re seeing the fringe of the fringe.

You might be wondering what else they believe.

Conspiracy followers also believe the clocks will go back an hour, that people will adopt the Julian calendar and that the date will go back to October 20.

The QAnon conspiracy, which originated on online message boards, holds that an elite global cabal of Satanic pedophiles is engaged in mass child sex trafficking and that, somehow, former President Donald Trump will expose this group and order its members arrested and sentenced to death.

They are sort of right about one thing: the clocks will be set back an hour next Sunday. The rest? I don’t think so.

But wait! There’s more!

But there is a section of the QAnon conspiracy movement that has also latched onto the belief that John F. Kennedy Jr. will reveal he did not die in a plane crash in 1999 and will help usher in a new period of American prosperity.

The outlandish theory posits that JFK Jr. has been in hiding for more than two decades and would return as Trump’s vice president.

A popular QAnon Telegram account with more than 100,000 subscribers echoed the conspiracy in a Monday post and said Trump would be reinstated as president and JFK Jr. would be named his vice president.

The post continued to claim Trump would then step down, meaning JFK Jr. would become president and name Michael Flynn as his vice president.

It continued to push a messianic narrative, with the post adding Trump would “most likely” become king of kings, failing to elaborate on what that would entail.

Their iconography is amazing.

By the way, I found that image, and many more, in a “Donald Trump is Jesus” group on Facebook, which is still a major vector for spreading bullshit, like anti-vaccination memes.

Comments

  1. birgerjohansson says

    Oh shit, this is the image wossname (sorry, I have an old man’s memory) warned about a couple of posts back
    (vomiting noises).
    Error. Drumpf has an even brown hue across the body in this image.
    And he is walking down the stairs without support, or stumbling.
    .. .. .. .. ..
    “Donald Trump is Jesus”???? An idea for more accurate choice of religion:
    “Wirecutter” https://xkcd.com/2536/

  2. JoeBuddha says

    I’m convinced that there is a QAnnon troll (but I repeat myself) who is brainstorming what next batshit thing he can get these people to believe as we speak.

  3. says

    I didn’t think anything from the QAnon conspiracy singularity could surprise me any longer, but … restoring the Julian calendar? My only guesses would be that (a) it’s a Pope-Gregory-was-secretly-Jewish thing, and/or (b) they need to arbitrarily switch calendars to get mystically-significant dates to line up and “explain” away events not happening when they were prophesied to.

  4. birgerjohansson says

    Yesterday the identity of one of the Qanon influencers was revealed.
    He was a (drumroll) convicted sexual molester of children. This explains why Qanon is projecting so much about paedophilia.

  5. Bruce says

    At least QAnon can be proud of their ability to predict the future in that their artwork shows Trump dressed in orange. I hear it’s going to be the new black.

  6. says

    Aren’t “second coming” cults a dime a dozen? They’re a grift.

    Apparently, good grifters can even retain their followers when the announced date arrives and predictably/inevitably nothing happens.

  7. birgerjohansson says

    I recall when JFK Jr died in that flying accident.
    He was flying at night, and it is too easy to “lock on” to the GPS and get tunnel vision.
    If you fly at night you must check all the relevant instruments constantly, and be sufficiently well versed with the constellations to recognise the stars you see through gaps in the clouds, and use them for extra spatial orientation.
    .
    I recall well the toxic way the conservative commenters on Fox spoke about those dead people.
    (Back then Swedish cable operators still carried Fox. After the Iraq war, it was obvious what a trash channel it was and I have not found it on any Swedish cable provider since)

  8. strangerinastrangeland says

    Why specifically JFK, jr.? Other than his famous dad and family, what links him to Trump or any of the ideas and fantasies that QAnon harbours? They could have made up that stuff with any other dead guy.

  9. says

    There’s actually a guy that some of the Qcumbers think is JFK Jr. His name is Vincent Fusca. The fact Fusica is too short to be Jr., and looks pretty much nothing like him, hasn’t dissuaded them. And Fusca has been quite willing to go along with the claim, while never actually claiming himself that he’s Kennedy.

    Supposedly the first hints Jr. is supposedly alive were dropped by a QAnon fan calling themselves R. Gossip columnist turned conspiracy monger Liz Crokin also helped push the idea along.

  10. lumipuna says

    QAnon followers have gathered in Dallas, Texas, where they believe John F. Kennedy Jr. will reappear and announce Donald Trump is president.

    John the Southern Baptist.

    They are sort of right about one thing: the clocks will be set back an hour next Sunday.

    Sometimes, a stopped clock is right thrice a day.

  11. raven says

    Gossip columnist turned conspiracy monger Liz Crokin also helped push the idea along.

    There is an explanation for at least one Qanon leader.
    Liz Crokin is a survivor of viral encephalitis with admitted brain damage.

  12. AstroLad says

    “The QAnon conspiracy, which originated on online message boards, holds that an elite global cabal of Satanic pedophiles is engaged in mass child sex trafficking and that, somehow, former President Donald Trump will expose this group and order its members arrested and sentenced to death.”

    Eh? He would much more likely be a charter member of the group.

  13. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 9

    Even odder is that the Kennedys are liberal icons. Why would a bunch of fascists want a Kennedy back?

  14. birgerjohansson says

    OT
    Praised be Gozer and his minion Zuul!
    The 324th coming of God Awful Movies just brought “Finding Jesus” , the mostest cheapiest religious “cartoon” of all time.
    The animated fish only have one facial expression, smiling inappropriately.
    This crap is a perfect symbol for religious grifters who are in it for a fast buck.
    NB -the GAM posse has started their new drive “Vulgarity För Charity” today, I just want to notify the fans.

  15. birgerjohansson says

    Blake Stacey @ 4
    FYI, if we wanted the most accurate calendar, I am told the Iranian pre-islamic calendar is even more accurate than the later Gregorian. Zoroastrians beating proper Christians? Unthinkable!

  16. davidc1 says

    grete news about the time change thingy sick of big gubberment robbing me of an hour twice a year i am 62 just fink if them demoncrats had not pinched 2 hours off of me every year i would only be 26

  17. birgerjohansson says

    The sacred bone spurs do not seem to prevent Drumpf from taking up a warrior pose… is that sword made of plastic?
    Even in -angel- chicken form, he would not be comfortable dragging around the weight of a real sword.

  18. davidc1 says

    Zoroastrians ,thems the ones that have had a fire burning without going out for the last dog knows how many thousands of years ,is that correct ?

  19. davidc1 says

    Talking of that fantastic piece of modern art ,I have seen a photo of it where it is a Triptych ,which means at least it can be shut away .

  20. birgerjohansson says

    Davidc1 @ 19
    Yes. I assume their ‘eternal’ faith has been significantly altered over the millennia (like all religions), but that is the current version.
    And in India they have funeral platforms where vultures can remove all the flesh from the bones before the bones are buried.

  21. birgerjohansson says

    Davidc1 I am glad they gave the bipedal turkey a robe. It is bad enough to see Biden’s shrunken dong without Donalds mushroom-shaped thing sharing the image.

  22. says

    These are the same people who thought that during Biden’s inauguration, the power would go out, the television would go to static and the emergency radio channels would announce that the storm had arrived, the arrests would begin and the US would be under martial law.

    It never happened. But some of the QAnon dipsticks tried to claim Melania’s dress represented television static and somehow, this was all going to totally happen! Just later! Or something.

  23. davidc1 says

    I think all this batshitcrazy barking mad wackloonlry and general wackiness that seems to
    plague amurica is the result of a curse put on your Nation by a Native American Medicine man because you came ,saw ,and took over .

  24. snarkrates says

    Wow, OK. I’m off my lunch. That image. Is an angel even allowed to be that fucking ugly???

  25. Ridana says

    It’s not just JFK, Jr. they think will be there. They think JFK himself will “be reintroduced back into the world,” met by Jackie, somehow “transfer power” to Trump, and they will tour for a week, and then JFK will finally die. This will begin at the “grassy noel.”
    https://twitter.com/dappergander/status/1455192273931677697
    Other Qpers are upset because these people “make us look crazy.”
    https://twitter.com/2021_Karma/status/1455441522493558788

  26. wzrd1 says

    birgerjohansson @20, it’s strikethrough.
    Such as, God-King Emperor Trump will wane supreme in the men’s room, as usual today.

    I’ve been saying it since the bastard was running for POTUS, it’s become a religion. Let’s just hope that these zealots find their Masada swiftly and alone.

  27. unclefrogy says

    what I find the most amazing is that this BS gets believed and parroted by supposedly educated people and not just laughed at and ignored like the paranoid ravings of some street wino haranguing the intersection.

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