The cat is going to be insufferable if she finds out


So don’t tell her she looks exactly like the first cat of the emperor of Japan.

I was going to take a photo of her to demonstrate how much alike they are, but I just noticed that we’ve been adapting the house to suit her. She has a strong preference for resting on black surfaces, so we’ve been putting down black blankets for her to reign from. I’ve got a black backpack — if I leave that on the floor I’ll come back to find her nesting there. We’ve been able to control where she sleeps in our bedroom to a small degree with a black cloth in a corner. You try taking a picture of a cat whose color is like the deepest ink, who likes to disappear at night.

Wait a minute — why is this cat acting like a ninja in our home? What is she scheming?

Comments

  1. blf says

    You try taking a picture of a cat whose color is like the deepest ink, who likes to disappear at night.

    The mildly deranged penguin points out the trebuchet ammo is often there at night and usually disappears during the day…

    Also, she (the mildly deranged penguin) says, the best way to take pictures of the evil cat is to nail (or staple) the cat to floor, and then spend an enteral vacation on, say, Pluto, photographing the ice spiders. (She can recommend several penguin spas on Pluto, all guaranteed cat-free, except in the trebuchet game ranges.) And no Nasa helicopterspaparazzi !

  2. davidc1 says

    @4 Wasn’t any mention if people in old Japan mistreated cats ,like what them bastard christians did .

  3. Owlmirror says

    I note that the translation is a bit odd; not entirely fluent, and wondered if there was a better translation available. WikiP has an article — Kanpyō Gyoki or Uda tennō gyoki (宇多天皇御記, Imperial diary of Emperor Uda) — which has as a reference a translation and commentary from 1992:

    Now that I have a few spare moments I shall write a description of my cat. This black cat of mine had previously been given to the former emperor [Kōkō] by Minamoto no Suguru, the Junior Assistant Governor-General of Dazaifu, upon his return to the capital after completing his term of office. The emperor loved the color of the cat’s fur, which is truly beyond compare. Other cats are a light black color, but this cat is dark black like a crow, and very much resembles the Chinese dog “Blackie.”

    My cat is a foot and a half in length and about six inches in height. When he curls up he is very small, looking like a black millet berry, but when he stretches out he is long, resembling a drawn bow. The pupils of his eyes sparkle, dazzlingly bright like shiny needles flashing with light, while the points of his ears stick straight up, unwaveringly, looking like the bowl of a spoon. When he crouches he becomes a ball without feet, resembling a round jade taken from the depths of a cave. My cat moves silently, making not a single sound, like a black dragon above the clouds.

    By nature he has a preference for Taoist-style health practices and instinctively follows the “five-bird regimen.” He always keeps his head and tail low against the ground. But when he arches his back, he extends some two feet in height. His fur is lustrous, perhaps on account of his Taoist health practices. He is good at catching mice at night, better at it than other cats.

    More comprehensible, but perhaps not quite as charming.

  4. Nemo says

    They all like to be invisible, I think. Our black cat sits in front of the TV when it’s off. A golden spotted calico prefers a golden spotted couch. Etc.

    Although mostly they just like cat-sized, defined spaces. A piece of paper will do.

  5. cartomancer says

    Our cat is called Sunshine. This is because she is orange, approaching spherical in shape, and our entire lives revolve around her.

  6. NitricAcid says

    My cat is white and fluffy, and loves to curl up on my black clothes. Regardless of if I’m in them, or if the dryer has been left open.

  7. John Morales says

    My wife’s cat poem:

    What the Cat Says

    I do what I like and I like what I do.

    I poo where I want then I cover my poo.

    You think you are smart,

    But what I say you do.

    You only have one life

    While I have a few.

    You have a top tuft.

    You can’t even purr.

    I’m muscled and buff

    With immaculate fur.

    You can’t make me sit.

    You can’t make me come.

    Just try and I’ll show you

    My puckery bum.

  8. stroppy says

    Nemo @ 7

    Although mostly they just like cat-sized, defined spaces. A piece of paper will do.

    Kanizsa square illusion, though they go for other shapes as well.

    Cat sized?

    It’s a cat thing.

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