Did I really need a reminder of what my day will be like?

No, I did not.

I am currently at the stage where I popped those ungodly unnatural pills, and have felt nothing more than a little twinge. I have consciously cleared a path to the bathroom, though.


  1. wzrd1 says

    I may never touch Gatorade again after today, though.

    Yeah, same here since uncapping Ringer’s lactate with my teeth and some spewed from the IV tube into my mouth.
    As for PEG (they didn’t bother with pills with me), I still get nauseous thinking of the shit. Worse, when it was go to the procedure time, the engine blew and I was billed $100 for the missed appointment.

    One doctor that I had cutely referred to the procedure as “shoving a garden hose up where it shouldn’t be”, to mutual mirth. Largely, as doctor knew that I’ve handled the device that’s nowhere early that large – not that I’d care, what with doctor boring me to sleep. ;)

  2. says

    Pills? PILLS??? Why does everyone else seem to get pills.
    Twice now, all I get is 4 quarts of shitty-tasting salt water.

  3. Cuttlefish says

    Lasst time, I had sodium diphosphate (ginger flavored) solution, which tasted like ginger detergent.
    This time, it’s all over-the-counter stuff, dulcolax and mirilax and gatorade and very specific timing and enough hydration to drown a cuttlefish.

  4. birgerjohansson says

    PZ Myers @ 2
    Having gone through the experience in the 1980s, I think the cenobites had more fun.

  5. imback says

    #4 as PZ said in an earlier post, the pills are stool softener before the big show tonight with the 4 quarts.

    My wife and I have managed to get on the same schedule and do it together. Sharing the fasting misery helps, especially since yellow or green popsicles are allowed so we can suck on them all day. Of course the elimination stage requires two designated bathrooms available. We get a ride from someone close (last time it was our daughter home for the holidays) and treat them to a big lunch at an Italian restaurant on the way home.

  6. maggie says

    Speaking from multiple experiences, don’t wear complicated clothing. Borrow a nightgown, if you can.

  7. Rowan vet-tech says

    I’m getting my second colonoscopy next month, right before my 39th birthday! The procedure itself really isn’t that bad. I wasn’t sedated the first time and I won’t be this second time either. But the prep. I can’t drink the lemon flavored gatorade without feeling nauseous but I get to go enjoy that and miralax again all too soon.

  8. robro says

    I had my “procedure” last year. I don’t remember the pills, but perhaps the 4-quarts of Draino flushed those memories. As for the procedure, the sedation gave me the best sleep I had in months. All I know about it is that he removed a bunch of polyps with a few “pre-cancerous” of which the report noted, “THIS IS NOT CANCER.” Phew. Except, I’m on notice to do it again next year.

  9. says

    My cousin had a colonoscopy today. What is even happening? If I were prone to superstition, I might attribute this coincidence to some delayed Friday the 13th effect.

  10. robro says

    Joseph Zowghi @ #13 – To add to the eerie coincidence, the US is having a metaphorical colonoscopy in Afghanistan this week. It’s all a sign, I tell you, and the sign is the world is full of shit and cancer.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Robro @ 15
    The whole world indeed.
    -This goddamn summer, I have made it a habit to shout out when God Awful Movies have launched another episode, in case others have found their brand of irreverent humor can reduce the misery a bit.
    The latest came an hour ago, I recommend you combine it with video of fox puppies playing. And spider footage.

  12. says

    If you were conscious during the procedure it is likely that you may have gone a sigmoidoscopy rather than the full blown colonoscopy. I’ve had both and was sedated only for the latter. Also, after the procedure, don’t trust any farts.

  13. robro says

    kentreniche @ #17 — I never trust farts, and particularly old farts because I am one.

  14. captainjack says

    I’m 72 and a month overdue for my fifth. The prep is better than it was. My doc is a real perfectionist and scopes out every square millimeter. After the last one, he gave me a picture of my duodenum. I always opt for the versed and fentanyl.

  15. says

    Oh, yeah, the prep is the worst part of the process. (I’m supposed to drink how much of this stuff?)
    The end result (heh) in my case was, “Well, it looks like IBS.” Which, yeah… tell me something I don’t know?

    Here’s hoping they find nothing but clean, healthy bowel tissue on yours!

  16. Rowan vet-tech says

    @17. Nope, full colonoscopy! They automatically assumed sedation but I respond in paradoxical ways to most sedatives. As my family has a history of colon cancer, I get the whole deal. And there’s nothing stopping anyone from requesting no sedation. You can look up ‘colonoscopy no sedation’ and you’ll learn it’s actually pretty common. The only part that was at all uncomfortable (and made me a tiny nauseous) was getting the tube around the very first bend in the rectum. One the doctor was past that, it was a breeze.

  17. Rowan vet-tech says

    *pretty common in Europe. ah, I love skipping words. My mom also gets her colonoscopies unsedated and it was her father who died of colon cancer at 52 years old. She and I both share the “become aggressive on benzodiazepines” trait. Mom’s had lots of polyps, my brother has too. I had none on my first and I’m hoping for none this year as well. If so, I may have missed out on the colon polyp gene from mom.

  18. steve1 says

    This is well explored territory for me. I get them annually due to colitis. The last one the Doc said it was burnt out and tube like.. This isn’t what its supposed to look like. Tell the Doc that does the procedure to tell your wife that he didn’t find your head.
    I’m sure he has heard this one before.

  19. Richard Smith says

    Creeping up on 54 here, and still haven’t even done the poop-smear test. I’m seeing my GP next month, so I should probably see if he has any (tests, that is, not…), or can hook me up with one. Just that, when it comes to poop, I’m not so eager to play, and I’m not reluctant to admit it. No known history of colon cancer in the family, but my father died of complications due to prostate cancer; adjacent, but still a different neighbourhood (also, with congenital panhypopituitarism, I don’t need to worry so much about that demon) so all the better to be safe than sorry.

  20. Doc Bill says

    As a member of the Stately Generation, I was advised to use Cologuard, you know, the happy little blue box that talks to you on the beach.

    I must say, there was something personally satisfying about pooping into a box and mailing it to someone. I always wanted to do that.