The zombies have finally risen

They’re pounding on the walls and windows, trying to get in! Don’t let them!

That was the scene in Ohio, where people in MAGA hats and waving US and Confederate flags were protesting the restrictions that are supposed to save their lives. They were also shrieking in Michigan over the discomfiture of isolation.

These people were representative.

He’s blubbering because he needs his lawn fertilizer. She needs to get her roots done. Jesus.

They’ve got middle-class suburbanite syndrome real bad. I’ve seen this before. It’s a kind of virtue signaling — you have to keep your lawn green and uniform and well-tended, or the neighbors will look down on you. He’s terrified that he might lose the most superficial, trivial form of status. These are complacent, pathetic people who are not prepared to sacrifice anything for their community.

Zombies, every one.


  1. kome says

    Ahhhh, yes, here we see white privilege so severe it convinces some people that biology gives a shit about their feelings.

  2. gijoel says

    I would find it very hard not to cough on these people.

    The Institute of Public affairs tried the same thing in a online video and received a polite ‘go-fuck-yourself’ from mass media.

  3. kenbakermn says

    Maybe people with MAGA hats should be allowed to group together all they want, as long as they agree to always wear the hat and never go near anyone not wearing the hat.

  4. Saad says

    I’ve read a couple of replies on Twitter regarding to that zombie movie poster saying that the undead on the left is running for state senate. The ones that can run are always scarier.

  5. Bruce says

    I see few of these zombie rioters that look young enough to know how to go on line and buy even cans of spray paint. Do they know there are specialized paints to make your lawn look green, and to make your roots and hair look however you want? Just don’t get them mixed up, or your head will have good zombie green roots. 😜

  6. stroppy says

    They had a lumpy faced yahoo on the news last night braying out the window of his pick-up about the economy. Translation: It’s overblown fake news hyped by a conspiracy of bleeding-heart liberals who care too much about a few thousand weakling losers dying. It’s a well known fact that we know-it-all, evil libtardz, hated by God, are trying to persecute poor, righteous sovereign citizens. So they think.

    I really am fing sick of these gd* zombie a*holes–starting with that bloated bag of troll shite in the WH bog, and going all the way down from there. I’m starting to wonder if they might all need a good punch in the head.

  7. laurian says

    At 1st glance I thought I was looking at a still from the movie Sean of the Living Dead

    What a fine looking collection of Darwin Award contestants

  8. raven says

    these people have no problem with you dying as long as they can buy their lawn fertilizer

    I like a green lawn as much as anyone.
    But I don’t want to die for it.

    FWIW, I rarely fertilize my lawn.
    And right now, it is perfectly green.

  9. raven says

    Maybe people with MAGA hats should be allowed to group together all they want,…

    Why not?
    We can’t stop them.

    We also now know what the Mark of the Beast in Revelation is.
    A red baseball type hat with “Make America Great Again” written on it.

  10. says

    It’s a kind of virtue signaling — you have to keep your lawn green and uniform and well-tended, or the neighbors will look down on you.

    Last time I had to cope with a lawn, we had to keep it uniform and well-tended because otherwise the local code inspection department could issue citations. And they actually would, too — they would go out with a ruler and look for the longest blades of grass they could find on the property, and if those were over some particular length (six inches, I think?) they would tape a notice to the door giving you two weeks to mow or else the town would hire a service to do it and bill you for it on top of a fine. Otherwise, we would have let the lawn turn into a jungle. Bees like dandelions.

  11. whywhywhy says

    I have never fertilized my lawn or watered it. I don’t get it. I look forward to my lawn going dormant during summer and I don’t want to have to mow it more often than I need to. I have other stuff to do.

    The only way these fools will understand the impact of COVID-19 is if they or a close family member dies. Just getting sick and recovering will only be used by them as ‘proof’ that it isn’t that bad and is a ‘hoax’ because they do not have the emotional or intellectual skillset to understand that other folks experiences may be different than their own and that these experiences are just as valid. This lack of empathy is a huge reason our country is not able to rise to the challenges of life.

  12. raven says

    Scotts Green Max Lawn Food, 5,000 sq. ft.
    by Scotts
    In Stock.
    List Price: $44.53
    Price: $22.37
    You Save: $22.16 (50%)

    “A must for a healthy lawn” – by L Baker
    This product did wonders for our dry lawn and even helped out with burn spots by dog left behind. For sure our lawn in much more lush, green and it grows way faster. So grateful to have found this product!

    BTW, you can buy lawn fertilizer online at a large number of retail outlets.
    Amazon. com has Scotts lawn fertilizer on sale for half off.

    “I see few of these zombie rioters that look young enough to know how to go on line…”
    Don’t stereotype people.
    I’m older than most of them and buy online often.
    They don’t have any excuse.
    They could always get someone else who knows how to use the internet to order for them.

  13. wzrd1 says

    @2, gijoel, I’d be sorely tempted as well. Might as well share the misery with such miserable shits, as I’m pretty sure I’ve got the virus from when I had to go shopping. I’ll know for certain within a couple of days, but without health insurance, getting tested ain’t in the cards.
    Especially adding to my misery, 4 weeks of calling an all circuits are busy unemployment number to get George Jetson to push his frigging button to reopen my unemployment claim (the online crap doesn’t work, went through it before when the claim locked itself). And a cherry on top, applied for medical and food stamps, to be told we’re qualified, then need a telephone interview, then informed that the county we’ve lived in for going on two years isn’t where we’re living or something, so the claim was rejected.

    I’d also likely fart at them for good measure. After all, some thumbsucker came along and tagged me REF. Retired, extremely flatulent.

  14. wzrd1 says

    BTW, if grass seed and fertilizer that’s inferior to what he was spouting was sooooooooooo important, whyinhell didn’t he pick up the telephone or order online?
    Seriously, I can buy fertilizer, seeds of any sort, surgical instruments and a fucking neutron generator online! I guess I’m a tad smarter than he is, as I’m not interested in fertilizer, grass seed or a neutron generator.
    A couple of scalpels, a few hemostats, a needle holder and a fine probe would be useful for making jewelry and some other crafts, once I’m over this damned virus.

  15. says

    @18 & @17

    He wants fertilizer, how about sending him some fertilizer. Let’s help the guy out. I could spare $50 on a bag of fertilizer. In fact, I’m sure most of us could. Dozens of us…

    And when the guy gets a truckload of fertilizer on his doorstep he will literally be FULL OF SHIT.

  16. Mark says

    I find it difficult to believe that these protests are grass roots. Local businesses and GOP leaders are likely pushing employees and their families to kick up a fuss. I would have thought that most successful businesses could weather a couple of months of downtime, especially with government subsidies, but apparently they’re all on the brink of extinction, according to conservative news hosts. Isn’t it really about losing immediate profits, not about losing capital assets? A bunch of selfish executives are worried about losing their Christmas bonus.

  17. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin is happy — very happy — to place her array of trebuchets at the service of anyone who wants to send the eejit some, ah, “fertilizer”. Particularly the natural kind, fresh from the bull, hog, or impeached quack occupying Wacko House. She’ll even waive her usual fee, but does ask you make a contribution to an organisation doing scientifically-valid useful work during the pandemic (she suggests Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), also known as Doctors Without Borders); however, they’d probably prefer money rather than cheese (albeit your local healthcare workers might like some cheese, perhaps with added pizza).

  18. woozy says

    The joke among my pro-social distancing Michigan friends currently, is pointing out Michigan is still under snow and you can’t garden anyway.

  19. unclefrogy says

    I feel kind of sorry for the ignorant magats their resentment and fear is being used by some and if the emerging data about the stealth mode of a-symptomatic transmission of covad-19
    from a Reuters article about the aircraft carrier Theodor Roosevelt

    Roughly 60 percent of the over 600 sailors who tested positive so far have not shown symptoms of COVID-19

    there is a likelihood that some of them will be infected and die from it no need to wish them ill just watch them. (and weep)
    what do you do when people want to go out into the hurricane before it finally passes?
    this thing ain’t over yet!
    uncle frogy

  20. TGAP Dad says

    I live in the Lansing area, and the one aspect of this not widely reported is that the regional hospital for our area is only a few short blocks from the capitol. The tea baggers were apparently trying to bring on gridlock. It worked to the extent that at least one ambulance was prevented from ingress to the emergency entrance.

  21. woozy says

    At least the protestors in Michigan are keeping 6 feet apart.

    The folks in Ohio seem to be taking the attitude that they would drink bleach because the democrats said bleach was toxic.

  22. magistramarla says

    We both absolutely hate doing lawn work. However, my husband always insisted on doing it himself when we lived in Texas. Once, when he was on a ladder trimming bushes, he fell off and badly cut his hand with the trimmer. I had to get him to the ER for stitches, and it was while I was recovering from back surgery.
    Our new home in California has two fairly small lawns, a lovely three level patio with various plants, and features some really tall privacy bushes, some on a hill. I convinced my husband the he was NOT to attempt the yard work by himself. I hired a sweet young man who came along in his truck, asking for work and speaking very little English. He did an excellent job of mowing, trimming and everything else that our neglected yard needed. After the first month, he came along with a big bag of fertilizer and put it down on the front and back lawns and around our bushes. Our front lawn now makes us look like the spoiled rich people on the block.
    Our sweet gardener keeps stopping by to keep everything up. I managed to get from him that he has a wife and children to feed, so I’m very happy to let him work (all by himself) and I carefully reach out the door to hand him a check. Some might say that I’m putting him and his family at risk, but I know that he would be out there trying to earn money one way or another anyway. I’m proud to help that hard-working young man to keep his family fed, while keeping my own husband from injuring himself.
    This is what these zombies are missing. We’re all in this together, and there are folks out there who need the work and would be more than happy to do their yard work for them. With their lack of empathy, they wouldn’t dream of hiring a brown person.

  23. unclefrogy says

    that is precisely what the magats do do understand it is not “we are all in this together” it is “us against them”. It is how they see life in general. I do not think that can be changed either, the resulting behavior might might be mitigated on a society level but on the individual probably not.
    In this case it might kill them and everyone else as well.
    uncle frogy

  24. velociraptor says

    BUT HER EMAILSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    BUT THE SAVIOR BERNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We fucking TOLD you.

  25. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    John Morales, I’ll start caring about the zombies again when they give my fucking country back.

  26. davidc1 says

    @2 At least 2 teenagers have been jailed in GB for threatening to cough in the faces of Police officers .

  27. stroppy says

    Heh. My favorite Friday headline so far.
    “With Trump gross Incompetence, Bookstores moving Post-Apocalyptic Fiction into Current Events Section”

    Yeah sorry, I’m not going to get all soppy about the willful ignorance of Republicans and the damage they are doing to this country, the planet and everything on it.

  28. says

    The worst part about Trombies is that once this is over, they’ll blame the scientists and anyone who shouted the warnings. Responsibility is neither for them nor their grate “leader”.

  29. says

    @#33, velociraptor:

    Four years ago, people on this very board assured me that I was a Bernie Bro and only disapproved of Hillary Clinton because I was sexist. Those same people are now outright dismissing a credible accusation of rape against Joe Biden. People like you have no credibility at all, and should probably just shut up.

  30. says

    I couldn’t believe it when I saw this on Facebook. What sort of human beings with whom you share the continent of North America?
    I have never seen such short sighted, mean minded, selfish and idiotic people are these? No positive personal qualities what so ever.

  31. stroppy says

    43 Vicar

    Yeah, but some of us sucked it up and voted for Hillary anyway, because it was the right thing to do. You keep digging yourself into a hole here. Maybe it’s time for you to walk away, take a rest, and come back when you’ve upped your game.

    44 Saad

    Indeed. Maga-heads and their sympathizers are flailing at the bats in their collective belfry calling them “liberals.”

    45 CP

    We’ve been in the throes of a culture war for several decades now, egged on by far right pundits. It may be coming to a head sooner than people expect.