There are six of them?

I saw the first Sharknado movie — it failed to reach the low, low standard of being so bad it was entertaining. But now I learn that there have been multiple sequels, and they’re working on a sixth? I think they’re reaching. I didn’t watch 2, 3, 4, or 5 — didn’t even know they existed — and the synopsis of #6 doesn’t appeal at all.

After losing his family to the deadly sharknados, Fin (played by Ian Ziering) discovers the ability to travel through time using the sharknados as a sort of portal. His mission is to bring his family back to life through the powers of time travel and/or prevent the threat of the terrifying fish funnels altogether. In a new spin on Sharknado 5‘s world-traveling plot, Fin’s time traveling will bring him in contact with all manner of legends and historical figures. You can read the full synopsis below:

“All is lost, or is it? Fin unlocks the time-traveling power of the SHARKNADOS in order to save the world and resurrect his family. In his quest, Fin fights Nazis, dinosaurs, knights, and even takes a ride on Noah’s Ark. This time, it’s not how to stop the sharknados, it’s when.”

The movie poster shows the hero holding a chainsaw. There must always be a chainsaw.

I hear there’s a Fifty Shades of Grey sequel. The concept makes my stomach churn, but I think I’d rather see that. Or maybe I’d rather give in to a masochistic urge to bleach my eyeballs. So many choices!


  1. HappyHead says

    So… it’s like if Bill and Ted used a tornado full of sharks instead of a phone booth?
    No wonder everyone in their ‘promotional image’ looks like they’d rather be anywhere else.

  2. Ed Seedhouse says

    Of course, because the worse a thing is, the more we must make it…But in the bright side, Billy Graham is dead.

  3. Ragutis says

    Weren’t there already 3 or 4 sequels to 50 Shades? As for Sharknado I knew there were a couple of sequels, but 5? Then again, I haven’t really found much to interest me on SyFy since Eureka ended. You’d think that if anyone was going to jump on the superhero train, it would have been them. I think they’ve been in freefall since the two Dune miniseries. And to think that I was once actually hopeful someone might try to tackle God Emperor of Dune.

  4. says

    Hey, Fifty Shades Freed is the third highest grossing film of 2018 so far. And it has a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes. This is compared to Sharknado 5‘s relatively favorable rating of 32%. Movies.

  5. microraptor says

    Given the company’s reputation for shoveling out awful, cheaply made films, I’m surprised that there’s only six.

  6. pastorbentonit says

    @#4 Duth Olec:
    Fifty Shades of Chainsaw, more like..? *That*, I’d watch in a heartbeat.

  7. brett says

    I saw the first Sharknado movie — it failed to reach the low, low standard of being so bad it was entertaining.

    It looks like they’re very self-consciously aware that they’re making bad movies, which . . . kind of doesn’t work well. “So bad it’s good” works best when the films take the material dead seriously (no matter how absurd the results and cheap the budget).

  8. says

    I’m holding out for the toxic sharknado chainsaw matrix. But only if they can get Bruce Campbell to star in it (which he would do a fine job of…)

  9. Rich Woods says

    @Tabby #8:

    I can’t bring myself to check out the sequels because they cast the likes of Ann Coulter.

    Not even if they cast her into a pit?

  10. weylguy says

    A movie features a tornado sweeping up a bunch of sharks, and a sequel has them involved in time travel?! Only in America, where Americans’ sense of entertainment has gone downhill to the point of fucking absurdity. Too bad they’re all white, stupid, evangelical, ignorant, arrogant and Republican — oh, and they also vote. Meanwhile, the “sensible” ones think Oprah Winfrey should run for President. Yeah, we’re totally fucked.

  11. thetalkingstove says

    Well, they are flat out comedies. Terrible ones that no one should bother to see, but deliberately absurd and stupid.

  12. anbheal says

    Well, I’m embarrassed to say that if you’re feeling stupid, Fast & Furioius XXIII and Fast & Furious XLIV are reasonably entertaining. What I find far more disturbing is that if you look at the Top 25 grossing movies of all time, Pirates of The Caribbean (the first of which was kinda sorta okay) owns something like 3rd, 4th, 7th, and 9th places. And nobody likes them! I’m guessing they must play well in Kuala Lumpur and Mumbai, or something.

    Meanwhile, Firefly wasn’t renewed for a second season. Truly, there’s less justice in the entertainment world than in the justice system.

  13. says

    weylguy@13 the various Asian film industries could just as easily have come up with something like Sharknado. For that matter pretty much any country with a film industry will produce low budget, horribly scripted schlock if someone has money to throw around.

  14. davidnangle says

    I watched the first one out of fascination, and I had one good moment in it: A character, faced with a tornado of flying sharks, shoots one with a revolver. And immediately, because of its death, it falls straight out of the sky.

    I spent the rest of the movie wondering about the thought process behind that. Was it’s ravenous life-force the only thing keeping it up? Then why the tornado? Was it using a tornado to fly with its little fins, in a way that it could control? With eyes evolved to work underwater? Along with every one of the other thousands of sharks in the movie? How does a shark get from the ocean into a tornado, which mostly happen over land?

    See? I’ve already gone off on a tangent, with the primary mystery unsolved: How could someone expect the shark to fall out of the air just because it was shot?

    Anyway, that’s all the joy I extracted from the first one. The later ones didn’t stand up to that level of utility.

  15. michaelvieths says

    The first one didn’t quite work as a good bad movie because it took itself a little too seriously. The second one threw that completely out the window and it was kinda funny. The rest don’t really add anything. If you want a better B-movie experience, Sharktopus (a Roger Corman film) is much more fun.

    The Asylum (the company that makes the Sharknado movies) is also behind Z Nation, which is a zombie apocalypse show that mostly manages a good mix of absurdity, action, and occasional moments of real character development and good drama.

  16. hemidactylus says

    Put into context the chainsaw scene was one of the most intense and dramatic scenes in cheeseball “let’s put the guy from 90210 with the girl from American Pie for some profoundly unpalpable reason” history. Enjoy:

    We Were Soldiers, Black Hawk Down, and Last Samurai have nothing on this. ScyFy has “advanced considerably” since rebooting BSG as one of the great scifi (or space opera) epics ever. Razor versus another sharkploitation flusher? The more things change the more they stay the same Gus. Batshit crazy Admiral Cain and her insane protege Kendra Shaw every time. So say we all.

  17. davidc1 says

    @17 Wrote ” For that matter pretty much any country with a film industry will produce low budget, horribly scripted schlock if someone has money to throw around.”
    The British film industry was responsible for “I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle ”
    On behalf of the UK i am here to say how truely sorry we are .

  18. Rob Grigjanis says

    hemidactylus @27: BSG: Some great acting and good set pieces, but with a plot courtesy of some sort of Random Escalating Crisis Generator, like Lost, Game of Thrones, etc. Full speed ahead and damn the coherence. Loose Ends? What are those?

  19. says

    There’s a fine line between “this is not for me” and “this is garbage”, and that line often has a whiff of elitism. If it weren’t for the casting I’d probably watch the Sharknado movies because there’s nothing wrong with ridiculous, mindless fun.

  20. hemidactylus says

    @29-Rob Grigjanis

    Many Sci-fi series have been tried, and will be tried in this world of Reality and Game Shows. No one pretends that BSG is perfect or self-consistent. Indeed it has been said that BSG is the worst Sci-fi series except for all those other series that have been tried from time to time…with apologies to Churchill.

  21. microraptor says

    BSG would have to be better than a lot of other sci-fi series in order for that to be true. BSG was good for the first season but rapidly ran out of ideas and went into a death-spiral of stupidity as they ended up regurgitating Scientology’s creation story.

  22. hemidactylus says

    Not Scientology. It was smuggled Mormon theology, ancient astronauts, and Nietzschean eternal recurrence. Original creator Glen Larson was Mormon. Ancient astronauts were all the craze in the seventies and featured in the reimagined series finale as the fleet arrived in our prehistory. “This Has All Happened Before, And This Will All Happen Again”. The finale implied future cylons with human built robots. If Kurzweil is right we are all toasters.

  23. =8)-DX says

    At least they’re *fighting Nazis*… not inviting them for interviews and writing long-form thinkpieces on how the neighbourhood Nazis are just like everyone else!