I spent my morning at the Mall of America.
Don’t judge me. We’ve made this a kind of Big City Weekend Holiday, and my wife and I are hanging out here with a couple of responsibilities: I have to monitor the weirdness at the Paradigm Symposium, and Mary is shopping for the stuff she needs to be presentable at the wedding of her son in South Korea next week. Who knew there was preparation involved? I just put on clean pants and I’m good to go.
Anyway, I’m done soaking in unrepentant loud capitalism now, and have to head out to listen to an afternoon of UFOlogy. First up is Peter Robbins, a pal of the notorious Bud Hopkins. I expect to hear the latest poop on anal probings.
After that, it’s Travis Walton…the Travis Walton, who was the subject of a hollywood movie, who wrote a book called The Walton Experience, and who has a new movie out called Travis: The True Story of Travis Walton. I guess he’s fearfully terrified that you might forget his name. I expect to hear all about his dubious claims of being kidnapped by the saucer people. It should be entertaining, but not entertaining enough to make me want to hang around for the Travis Walton movie screening afterwards.
I’ve got to be back to the hotel early to write up my experiences with the UFO people.
Good night, John-boy.
Part of that movie about Travis (the first one) wasfilmed a couple of miles from where I grew up. Mom wanted to see it when it was in the theater, the rest of the family overruled that idea.
UFOs coming right up… Flying saucers are usually claimed to come down, or buzz around, but rarely come up, except for the vanishing small group who claim the Earth is hollow, inhabited, and their(the Earth’s interior inhabitants, not the loon’s) flying saucers exit by a hole at North Pole.
Over the years, I’ve saw many a UFO, most were identified shortly after. A few were, ahem, to remain, :cough: unidentified, such as that SR-71 that didn’t make an emergency landing at a certain airfield we were at – we were told that it wasn’t there and we didn’t see it, that was a direct order.
In plain English, “you deny you ever saw this aircraft here, as it is not officially at this location, it’ll be denied and you’ll be punished for disclosing classified information”.
Hang out near Groom Lake, you’ll see quite a few aircraft that “don’t exist”, meaning they’re black program testbed aircraft, most of which will never enter into production.
Groom Lake facility being located in area number 51 of Nellis AFB, most of the other areas are equally uninteresting – including the bomb impact area.
I expect to hear the latest poop on anal probings
I see what you did there!!! o_O!!
I saw a UFO once. It turned out to be a plane taking off from PGBH International, but the clouds and sun managed to make it look like a kind of curved boomerang in the sky. Very interesting. Once I had identified it, it wasn’t a UFO anymore.
Have any of these people offered a theory why human anuses are so interesting to aliens?
“Have any of these people offered a theory why human anuses are so interesting to aliens?”
Isn’t it obvious that aliens are so advanced that they utilize 100% of whatever “food” they consume? Hence they lack an anus and are trying to figure out just what it is for. In Ufology *advanced* usually means retarded, so you should always seek that form of “explanation” instead. Reality, on the other hand suggests that these alleged “abductees” are quite anally fixated.
Or that he might forget his own name. The damage from all those repressed abduction experiences and MiB short term memory wipes really adds up, you know. It’s just like being in a professional contact sport.
“Psychological Projection.”
“Have any of these people offered a theory why human anuses are so interesting to aliens?”
Isn’t it obvious that aliens are so advanced that they utilize 100% of whatever “food” they consume?
Hence they lack an anus and are trying to figure out just what it is for. In Ufology *advanced* usually means retarded, so you should always seek that form of “explanation” instead. On the other hand reality suggests that the alleged “abductees” are quite anally fixated.
That’s a lot of money to listen to woo.
Huh. I saw a UFO in the mid 80s in the company of my then-girlfriend, in Edmonton. To this day, I have no idea what it was. By its motion*; not a meteor, airplane, helicopter, balloon or satellite. Sometimes you see shit you can’t explain, and you shouldn’t feel you have to. In a way, the most interesting part of this was telling my housemates, who immediately dismissed it, with one saying “hur hur, maybe it was a laser vessel”.
Lesson: People are idiots. Both those who make up stories for what the explanations of weird observations are, and those who reflexively dismiss any reports of weird stuff.
*a bright point of light zig-zagging sharply for a few minutes, then moving more rapidly while fading away to nothing, with all motion well above the horizon.
I saw a UFO one time. It turned out to be a plastic garbage bag that had gotten caught in a breeze about 200 feet off the ground. It was really weird the way it would just blow around randomly.
Rob Grigjanis #11
Full dark or twilight?
Sun just below your personal horizon makes for some funky sightings.
I’ve microraptor’s grocery bag UFO and there was this flock of snow geese…
I’ve seen microraptor’s …
chigau @13: Full dark, hours after sunset, high in the sky. Steady magnitude, steady straight line motion for a few seconds with several abrupt changes of direction. Then sudden speed up with magnitude going to zero. Maybe a mischievous goose with a flashlight, wearing a garbage bag.
I might be responsible for several flying garbage bag sightings in Edmonton in the late eighties or early nineties. The exact date escapes me, as does much of how I spent my time back then.
A friend of mine ended up with an almost full tank of helium and we spent several amusing afternoons inflating garbage bags and releasing them into the wild. It was amazing the altitude that they could get to, and it didn’t take very long for them to be unidentifiable from the ground.
They moved in really weird ways because of their shape. They didn’t just float like balloons, they sort of undulated and squirmed upwards. We taped notes to them, saying things like: “Send the mothership. We want to go home.” Given our, uhm, state of mind, this was hilarious…. yeah, youth.
I also saw a flock of what I believe to be geese flying at around 2am while waiting on the porch for a pizza delivery. A V formation of pale, fuzzy edged ovals travelling silently through the night sky. The X-files was in its heyday, and I hate to admit that I freaked out a bit until I thought about it rationally the next day.
Zippy, randomly moving UFO’s are often insects. Sometimes our brains don’t get enough distance cues and end up fooling us into thinking that that tiny thing up close is a large thing far away.
FossilFishy
Whatever you and your cohort were up to,
I like Rob’s,
“Maybe a mischievous goose with a flashlight, wearing a garbage bag.”
I’ve had many, many a UFF sighting, the US DoD is uninterested in unidentified flying fireflies.
Every one of the “proof” videos I saw were lens flares, reflections on insects, higher altitude and hence in sunlight normal flying objects in full sunlight after ground dusk, etc.
Well, save some military things, some of which still “don’t exist”, most of which I don’t know or care about. I know who is flying them (origin wise) and hence, don’t care about what my government is doing within its own borders with its defense forces that may only operate outside of the continental US without a collapse of local, state and federal government, including and especially, the courts.
Do we trust our government to never be coopted? No further than we can throw the unweildy thing, but we also have a network of friends, buddies, coworkers, acquaintances that are loyal to the founding documents and principles of this nation. Our oaths of commission and enlistment never had an expiration date, only our contracted terms of service did.
We’re ever watchful, ever warning and ever ready. As was discovered when General Smedley Butler did his duty and was smeared into obscurity. He, as we, never minded obscurity, we minded harm to the ideal of our nation and its progression and evolution toward perfection.
wzrd1
You should consider not commenting whilst high.
The only thing I’ve ever seen that I came close to thinking was a UFO was an advertising plane that flew over Saskatoon early one night years ago. It had some sort of LED sign board mounted on it, and as it approached it looked like a blob of light spinning through the sky. It became obvious what it when it got close enough to see it a bit better and hear the engine.
@chigau, at times, one must not rule out the mischievous goose. ;)
They are not without intelligence, only limited intelligence.
No new post by poopyhead. Has he been abducted by UFO people? Did he die of an overdose of woo?
Proof, PROOF, poopyhead is really an alien kraken / reptilian / pea spy, returning to file a final report. Which will presumably be “mostly insane”.
chigau #18 Me too.
That said…
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Sheeple!!1!1!!
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What? Someone had to say it…
Flashy light type UFOs could also be a migraine aura or similar – it is possible to get these without the accompanying headache.
I get those jefrir, and they would be almost impossible to mistake for something flying. They are persistent such that they overlay anything you’re looking at, and don’t disappear when you close your eyes.
Nah, that means the rectally-inserted alien has manged to climb into yer eyeball and is now signaling the goose drones.
I get those fairly often, jefrir. Hard to confuse them for anything else, even though mine start in central vision, then expand gradually through my field of view until it finally passes.
Still, it beats the hell out of the regular migraines I used to get about once per year. The visual variety are painless for me, incapacitating for an hour or so, as nothing in central vision “makes sense”, but other than that, painless.
As I’ve said before, I’ve witnessed many an unidentified flying object eventually becoming identified, some, not so, due to the aircraft being a classified military aircraft. Not a single one alien in origin, although a few certainly looked alien at the time, due to innovations in technology and purpose of the aircraft.
I have however, witnessed flying saucers, followed by flying cups, plates and pretty much the rest of the easily lofted items of a kitchen, requiring the services of law enforcement. Officers, who likely earnestly desired to have *two* jails, rather than one, where the oral battling continued unabated.
Some domestic disputes can be legendary in their wasted energies.
Now, let’s place yourself in a space alien’s shoes for a moment. You’ve finally developed the technology to travel the mind boggling distances involved in interstellar flight.
Would *you* want to land here and meet us, especially after watching our popular entertainment programs on the way to this solar system?
Yeah, I wouldn’t either. An endless parade of war films, violent cop shows, evening news showing all manner of discord would most certainly convince me that the extinction of our species is imminent and it’s best to avoid sharing that extinction while attempting to visit.
One sitting of Dr Strangelove, followed by Failsafe would convince the most intrepid of explorers to stay well and truly away, with a diagnosis for the species as psychotic in the extreme.