Case #5623 out of uncountable myriads:
I really want to hear more from this knowledgable fellow, “all-because-we-fell-in-love”. I’d like to know where he thinks the penis goes in, or where the baby comes out. I’d also like to know where he gets the confidence to lecture women on their genitalia when he knows essentially nothing about them.
chigau (違う) says
How do you find this stuff?
Pteryxx says
ARGH
…On the other hand, “sex ed” from this homophobic pastor…
rq says
Perhaps all-because-we-fell-in-love has only experienced anal or oral sex. In which case xe would be correct. But off-topic.
Terska says
This put a huge smile on my face and I needed a reason to smile today.
Feminace says
all-because-we-fell-in-love should have at least paid attention in biology class. I mean, come on.
Then again, there are cis men who truly believe that reaching all the way to the cervix with their penis means they are good at sex.
Because that’s how vaginas work. Or something.
Intaglio says
all-because-we-fell-in-love might be a virgin, I don’t think he has ever rubbed navels. I remember when I was very young I thought that girlies became pregnant through their … navel
It was a lot of fun finding out I was wrong. ;D
PZ Myers says
Well, hey, what else would navels be for?
zardoz says
Could be technically true.
don1 says
In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.”
Poggio Bracciolini, published 1470 but probably much older.
Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk- says
Uhm, unless you use medical procedures or something to get pregnant, and while indeed there are many other places a penis can go to the delight of all people involved, the baby comes indeed out of the same opening the penis went in when the pregnancy was caused.
erichoug says
Ugh, I feel sorry for millennials, between D.A.R.E. and abstinence only sex ed, they’re pretty screwed. No pun intended.
Bonus points for every person you’ve seen getting arrested on Cops while wearing a D.A.R.E T-shirt and obviously high.
octopod says
And they say it with such confidence, too! Where do these people get their information?
(Warning: contains OUCH) I’m informed that there are even some folks who think that PIV sex involves penetrating the cervix…presumably these are either people without a cervix or, if they’ve got one, they’ve never had penetrative sex???
I’m reminded of a story I read online somewhere from a young woman who was working as an aide in some congressional office (state? federal? dunno) and had to explain to her boss, an adult congressman of mature years, that you don’t get to control when you menstruate — like, that you can’t “hold it” the way you can hold your bladder — before he’d let her go use the bathroom to deal with sudden blood. o_O
frog says
I once met a young woman who hadn’t realized that babies are caused by sex. She thought that you get your period at age 12ish, because all the other girls did, and then you get pregnant at age 15ish, because all the other girls did. As if babies were just another biological phase in the maturing female body.
(By the time I met her she was about 20 years old and had been educated a bit better. I was rather impressed she was able to speak about it without feeling embarrassed. Whoever explained it to her did a good thing by not shaming her.)
This was in the USA in the late 1980s. She had been raised in a moderately middle-class household that was religious, but not Carrie-White’s-mom religious. I don’t imagine the national situation has improved any in the intervening decades.
Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk- says
I remember being a bit surprised to learn that people (my parents after all!) had sex for pleasure and not just for making babies when I was around 9 or 10, but my parents made damn sure I knew how babies were made.
erichoug says
Frog @#13
I actually had Sex ed in Katy Tx at around 1985 and it was pretty comprehensive. I think that the only thing they didn’t do that more comprehensive sex ed classes do today is the demonstration of how to put on a condom. But I do remember the teacher saying how she knew that most of us would not wait until we were married to have sex and that we should be aware of the possible results. I don’t remember it being especially shamey
Anyway, the point is that the schools, if anything, have gone backwards on this issue rather than forward. Nowadays they only talk about the basic mechanics of reproduction, tell the kids that they should be abstinent until marriage and don’t allow the teachers to answer any questions about birth control or LGBTQ issues. So, giant step back.
Thomathy, Mandatory Long-Form Homo says
Pteryxx @ #2
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and I’m not telling you to search for this, but there’s kind of a thing for that. I’m not sure whether this actually constitutes as bad news or not, but it’s a thing and …yeah. Anyhow, that pastor is very …upset. This is like the ‘semen lattes’ pastor’s complaints, though he’s more matter-of-fact about what the gays do and don’t do and I don’t think he’s ever been upset that babies don’t come out of men’s asses or grow in their ‘bags’ (sic). I’m definitely not verifying that thought though.
I am confused about how ‘all-because-we-fell-in-love’ could have such a glaring misconception while being on the the internet. I mean, even Wikipedia is informative enough on that point. Points about basic biology …do they have to be covered in a sex education class? Isn’t this part of human anatomy in biology? Isn’t there at least a year or two of biology that are mandatory in high school?
There’s so much that’s broken about education in the US that I hesitate to lay the blame solely on poor sex education, though perhaps the poor sex education points directly to the root of the problem. Hint: it’s with the people.
laurian says
Clearly an Abstinence Education grad.
dorfl says
I have to admit, I believed the same thing when I was a kid. I mean, babies coming out of the vagina?! That sounds super uncomfortable!
Brony, Social Justice Cenobite says
It sucks, but I guess that baseline needed to be set to a new minimum. Re-normalizing all the other dumbassery relative to that is what will suck more over time.
frog says
erichoug@15: I didn’t mean to give the impression that I think all sex ed in the USA is the same. I personally had sex ed starting in 5th grade, when they took all the boys into the gym and all the girls into the auditorium, and gave the “your body will be changing and here’s what’s happening, with helpful illustrations” lectures. These were repeated in 6th grade.
And in high school–a Catholic high school!–I had an excellent, informative sex ed class for an entire semester when I was 16. They covered everything from romance to biology to how all the different birth control works (including the standard condom-and-banana demonstration) and how effective they are are preventing pregnancy and/or STDs. (Yes, with stress that abstinence is the only 100% effective method.) The school was Catholic, but they were realistic about teenagers. Direct quote: “As a Catholic, you are not supposed to have premarital sex. But if you break that rule, break another and use birth control.”
But clearly there were and are many places in the USA (and presumably the world) where teenagers are not given accurate information (or any information…) about basic biology and sex. Sometimes it’s the school system overall, and sometimes it’s the parents individually. The aforementioned sex ed class in my high school required parental permission. I had a couple of friends whose parents wouldn’t give them that permission. Fortunately, they had me and other friends to help convey information.
anat says
Well, a significant number of babies are born by c-section, and I’m pretty sure no penis goes in that way.
nahuati says
Yesterday in the news, comprehensive sex education gets early opposition from lawmakers”> Comprehensive sex education gets early opposition from lawmakers in Utah.
And also this:
grumpyoldfart says
Sounds like they misunderstood the often heard message that the vagina and the vulva are not the same thing.
LykeX says
Thomathy #16
If you think you already know the answer, why bother looking it up? That’s one reason why miseducation (in this area and others) is so damaging.
Donnie says
@9 Don1
Had to find the cite. “One of the best known joke books of the Middle Ages is the Facetiae by Poggio Bracciolini (1380-1459).” at http://www.medievalists.net/2013/08/30/medieval-jokes/
Pteryxx says
Thomathy #16 – yeah, it’s obvious that pastor got his “sex ed” from certain image boards on the internetz. Thanks for confirming that my innocent act worked!
In the fundie and bible-belt parts of the US, this is why internet access in schools and libraries is censored through parental-lock software. Kids and teens can’t be allowed to research, say, breast cancer, or contraception, or even look up basic anatomy. The relevant pages get censored out of biology books. (One starting article) Public schools can’t teach sex ed at all unless it’s abstinence-only, and abstinence-only is all about slut-shaming and little or nothing about biology, not even pregnancy, which one would think they’d be concerned about. The strictest fundie communities don’t allow any unchaperoned media at all, only church approved books, movies or TV shows.
(Has anyone else noticed how often TV commercials these days, and even some shows, digitally erase the genitals and nipples of pet dogs or cats and the udders of cows? I’ve *met* students here that don’t know real cows have udders.)
Pierce R. Butler says
Thomathy @ # 16: This is like the ‘semen lattes’ pastor’s complaints…
Not surprisingly: same preacher-man.
blf says
Oh, oh, oh, I know this one! I know this one!! Babies come from the stork’s diaper!!!
Anne, Cranky Cat Lady says
It’s like the tides. Penis goes in, baby comes out, never a miscommunication…
kagekiri says
For a short time after my first sex ed classes in elementary school, I remember knowing about sperm and eggs, and possibly knowing about the womb, but being rather unclear on the vagina (I think I just thought it was for urinating?), so I had no idea how sperm got to the egg (and I was raised prude, so I didn’t ask anyone about it).
I assumed oral sex was the way, but couldn’t see how that would work, given that the mouth was connected to the digestive tract. I didn’t assume anal sex either…not sure why? I wasn’t very imaginative about it.
It’s scary thinking other people get to adulthood that confused.
unclefrogy says
@27
wow!
uncle frogy
jonmelbourne says
He heard the pee comes out a different hole and took that to mean there must be holes for everything.
CaitieCat, Harridan of Social Justice says
Since when does a proud USan man admit that a woman knows more about anything than he does? This was the least surprising part of the story: the mansplaining part.
Thomathy, Mandatory Long-Form Homo says
Pierce R. Butler, hold on. This the same person? Well, it’s no wonder he conjured up that image, the image being himself. Still, how did he …you know what? Never mind. If the behaviour he exhibits is on a continuum from ‘serious business’ (saying horrible bigoted things) to ‘frothing at the mouth’ (saying horrible bigoted things), he must just be moving on along toward the latter end.
LykeX, I seriously don’t understand that, because I always look for more info. With, I think, well reasoned exceptions (see above).
Pteryxx, it’s not nice to deceive! You made me think of those things! I get that there are laws and stuff and the almost entirely church supplemented curriculum and censorship and all that that prevents even curious minds from accessing information, even by accident. Oh. I said it there. ‘Church supplemented curriculum’. Right. If they’re okay teaching creationism in biology class, why ever would they include a section on anatomy? I said it above, I’ll say it more strongly: Education in the US is profoundly fucked up.
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says
@27:
ikes
Manning was interviewed by Jessica of TDS and took her incredulous responses with a heap of patience.
Still, unbelievable that anyone respects this person for all the ‘cray’ he exhibits.
Like int he politco sphere, it is okay for Tromp to be an awful person, the horror is that he has a fanbase for that awfulness. Same here, Manning can be as cra as he wants but that he has a parish of followers is [blank].
Thomathy, Mandatory Long-Form Homo says
jonmelbourne, I like the ideas of holes for everything. Holes for everyone, too. I think if there were holes for everything and for everyone, we wouldn’t hear anything from ‘all-because-we-fell-in-love’ about the holes other people have and what they do. It would probably also seriously relieve the world of the MRA problem. Though telling someone to go fuck themselves …nope, that wouldn’t change at thing.
rjw1 says
There’s also a case for an education in grammar.
“vagina’s”? “it’s”??
jy3, Social Justice Beguiler says
Might we be dealing with a sentient bedbug or a fungus or something similar?
marcmagus says
anat #21
Do bedbugs count?
Matrim says
I know that the assumption from most of you is that this is a man, but the sad fact is that there are plenty of women out there who have been failed by their parents and their education who may well not know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of their own body. This could be anyone of any age.
davidgeelan says
The episode of Orange Is The New Black where many inmates are surprised to learn that the urethra is separate from the vagina comes to mind.