Jebus, but the War on Christmas is stupid

It’s really just an excuse for conservatives to claim persecution where none exists. Like this Texas restaurant that proudly displays this sign.

Notice: This store is politically incorrect. We say 'Merry Christmas,' 'God bless America.' We salute our flag and give thanks to our troops, police officers and firefighters. If this offends you, you are welcome to leave. In God we trust.

Notice: This store is politically incorrect. We say ‘Merry Christmas,’ ‘God bless America.’ We salute our flag and give thanks to our troops, police officers and firefighters. If this offends you, you are welcome to leave. In God we trust.

A couple of things annoy me here. One is that no, he is not being politically incorrect. He’s being stupid.

“Politically incorrect” would mean burning an American flag on the sidewalk in front of his restaurant. Would that be OK?

“Politically incorrect” would mean demanding a reduction in military spending.

“Politically incorrect” would mean taxing the rich.

“Politically incorrect” would mean defying the racist behavior of the police.

“Politically incorrect” would mean pointing out that our troops have killed many innocent civilians.

“Politically incorrect” would mean paying his waitstaff a generous living wage.

What he has written is not politically incorrect: it’s blatant pandering to a rabidly conservative customer base that he says himself in the accompanying video has made few complaints. There’s nothing courageous about supporting a majority view.

The Christmas crap is utter nonsense. No one has been getting horribly offended at being wished a “Merry Christmas” (well, except maybe Tom Flynn). It’s a trumped-up problem created by right-wing nut jobs as propaganda.

So mission accomplished, religious conservatives. You’ve successfully politicized a benign holiday greeting that secular humanists and atheists and Jews and Muslims and Zoroastrians used to happily exchange without a second thought. You got your war on Christmas. Now have a happy damn holiday.

Here’s how I keep my head warm this season as I go on my morning walk.

God-hating atheist wearing a Christmas hat, just like our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would have worn.

God-hating atheist wearing a Christmas hat, just like our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would have worn.

Notice that I’m going to walk through snow and ice, just like Jesus would have done this time of year in Galilee, and that I’m about to leave for the coffee shop, where I’d drink the same beverage that Jesus would have sipped every morning, and that I’ve ordered Christmas merchandise, just like Jesus would, although admittedly he wouldn’t have been able to use Amazon to get it all (he probably relied on the Williams-Sonoma catalog). Before I went vegetarian, we’d also have a Christmas ham, just like Rabbi Jesus would have…or maybe he’ll do like we’re doing this year, and go out for Chinese?

Liberals and atheists, as a rule, don’t hate Christmas — we like parties and vacations and good food, too. We indulge in this holiday even more than Puritans and prudes and indignant conservatives. If they really want to go after the people who have despoiled the religious purity of their sacred day, they should go after the capitalists and greedy jerks who see it as an opportunity to exploit a gullible public.

That would be really politically incorrect.


  1. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The hat looks like one we have presently on the iron pelican work of art (purchased by the Redhead years ago) to celebrate the end of the year. The hat the pelican wears changes with the holidays.

  2. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Veteran. Firefighter (wildland (well, overhead)). Security officer at wildland fires. Also, unabashed liberal, strong supporter of capitalism combined with socialism and democracy, progressive, inclusive, feminist, and severely averse to faith-based thinking.

    Maybe I should just stand in the door since I am (in this person’s view) in the middle?

  3. congaboy says

    This is what happens when people conflate privilege with rights. They delude themselves into feeling persecuted when they are forced to treat others as equals. Equality means that no one is better than you and (most importantly) you are no better than anyone else. It’s a concept that is hard for most people to grasp.

  4. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Reminder: Puritans in New England originally demanded, and successfully legislated, Christmas to be outlawed, as it is ‘a pagan holiday’. (which most Puritans, then, relished as a day to go to taverns and get sloshed)
    whenever someone self-righteously brings up The Tradition of Christmas being eternal, I silently let this rumble around in my thoughts.

  5. says

    I’m sure about you wearing that hat since it *was* Jesus who gave Santa his hat and told him to go work for Macy’s in 1911.

    Source; Bible of Supply Side Jesus, Book of Friedman, verse 911.

  6. says

    I never understood this “God bless America” tic. Is the idea that God wasn’t planning to bless America, then he hears you say it and thinks, “Okay, maybe I’ll throw them a blessing after all”? Or maybe he just sees your bumper sticker. Also, does the flag give a shit if you salute it?

  7. Ogvorbis: failed human says


    I never understood this “God bless America” tic.

    Especially since democracy (admittedly far more limited than the US version (though the GOP are working on that)) is from a pagan pre-Christian milieu.

  8. Cardinal Shrew says

    Once upon a time I used to wish people Happy Holidays because I wanted to include New Years. Now, I say Happy Holidays just to see if I get a reaction.

  9. Dreaming of an Atheistic Newtopia says

    @8 Cervantes
    I think they were jealous of the british “God save the Queen”.

  10. Onamission5 says

    I can do one better. Well, for values of better which equal godawful and containing sentiments which are pretty much the same.

    Seen in the parking lot of a box store yesterday, one bumper sticker on a car parked next to me which read, “If you can’t respect and honor this [picture of confederate flag] you are welcome to leave!”

    I’ve never wanted to deface someone’s personal property so badly in my life. If I’d had access to a sharpie I would have been seriously tempted to cross out “this” and write “a symbol of treason and racism” and to replace “leave” with “stick around, speak up, and VOTE!”

  11. tbtabby says

    It is impossible to be politically correct in today’s political climate. IN order to be politically correct, you must not offend anyone. But when you strive to do this, you will end up deeply offending conservatives.

  12. tbtabby says

    Seriously, Christians, if two little words are all it takes to destroy Christmas, maybe you should come up with a sturdier holiday. Is Hanukkah threatened by Happy Holidays? Kwanzaa? Ramadan? Festivus? No? Then Christmas can handle it as well.

  13. says

    The only answer is to go and sing carols outside his store:
    “While shepherds washed their socks by night
    “All seated on the ground,
    “The arsehole* of the Lord came down,
    “And made a farty sound…”

    * probably a bit more anatomical, though not necessarily less perjorative than its non-rhotic US equivalent

  14. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    I never understood this “God bless America” tic.
    same here.
    I like Zelazny’s explanation: that Gods feed off worship (literally, nourishment-wise) and helps those who feed him the most. Greek gods faded away due to starvation, like the Egyptian Pantheon before them. So, better say “thank you, God” for everything anybody does, even if not done for you, thank God anyway, just to be benevolent and feed that starving godperson.
    Nietzche only got it half right, Man didn’t Create God, we simply keep him alive by feeding him his sustenance of worship.

    (according to Zelazny, that is. disclaimer: Gawd is a myth written by men out of man’s imagination. like any fictional character, he is fictional character. worship keeps the book selling doesn’t feed a creature, other than the publishers getting paid to sell the books about that fictional creation.)

  15. says

    Dear Christians and Republicans.

    If you are going to make a sign, always check how it looks at a distance. For example this nut-fuckery of a sign, at fifteen feet reads, “Notice” Some black scribble. “We Say” more black scribble. “Leave.” Telling costumers to leave before they get close enough to the sign to read it is probably not the message they wanted to convey.

  16. blf says

    “If you can’t respect and honor this [picture of confederate flag] you are welcome to leave!”

    Not carrying a nazi swastika on me to stick over the slavery banner, I’d probably settle for crossing out the “can’t” — although that implies the same idiotic intolerance and so is not at all ideal(leaving aside the whole issue of defacing someone else’s property).

  17. Elayne Riggs says

    I must confess, from the ’60s (when my Jewish family lived in a very Catholic neighborhood where people used to throw eggs and rocks at our house if we hung up Chanukah decorations) through the ’80s I actually did get upset when people wished me a merry Christmas, as it made me feel very left out. The further along my journey to atheism, the more I realized that it’s simply a winter solstice holiday appropriated by Christians and if I look at it that way I can better deal with the C-word, particularly coming from strangers with obvious goodwill. Doesn’t look to me like this Texas nutcase has much of that goodwill.

  18. Raucous Indignation says

    Did you go vegetarian in the lab too? Are there vegetable substitutes for zebrafish?

  19. ck, the Irate Lump says

    Political correctness would be demanding people say “Merry Christmas” or suffer consequences, not allowing people to greet others however they please. The anti-PC warriors are doing it wrong, as usual.

  20. blf says

    And now for the Spanish fruitcakes (real Spanish fruitcakes (I don’t know if there is such a thing) could easily be quite tasty, but this is the extreme nutter variety…), Row in Madrid as ‘three kings’ parade set to have two kings and a queen:

    Conservatives say plans to change traditional post-Christmas cavalcade shows ‘leftist phobia against Christianity’

    Plans to replace one of the three kings with a queen in several of Madrid’s post-Christmas cavalcades have been described as an attack on religious tradition by conservatives on the city council.

    In the eastern city district of San Blas-Canillejas, those organising the district’s parade voted to make the swap in reference to the work on gender equality being carried out by local associations. [Other districts are also planning on, or considering, the idea –blf …]

    The idea came as an affront to some on the city council, who characterised it as a misguided attack on religious tradition.

    “It’s sectarianism and a lack of common sense,” said the People’s party’s Isabel Rosell. “It’s the fruit of a leftist phobia against Christianity and an attempt to rid Christmas of all traces of religion.”

    Ah yes. Replacing the representation of one of a number of individuals — no-one knows how many there really were, albeit zero is a good guess — is a plot, phobia, blah, blah, and a partridge in a pear tree.

    She worried about what children would think of the change. “Those who want to do away with Christian traditions are doing all sorts of things that really bother me, particularly when they affect children,” said Aguirre.

    (The final quote excerpted above is from Esperanza Aguirre, the People’s Party’s spokesperson in Madrid.)
    A few of the comments at The Grauniad:

    ● “She worried about what children would think of the change. —Mommy, why is that woman acting like he [sic] is equal to a man?”

    ● “So you believe a man can turn water into wine.
    You believe a man can walk on water.
    You believe a virgin can be impregnated.
    You believe a star guided people to one specific stable in the middle of the Arabian desert.
      “But you find it impossible to believe one of those three fictional chancers was a woman???”

  21. Doubting Thomas says

    Jebus, it’s just the name of a day that lots of people think is somehow important. They’ve thought so ever since the guys who had the leisure time to do so figured out that the Sun moves in the sky and that the seasons coincide with those movements. It’s a good time of the year to party so they gave it a name, more than one actually. Trust the Christians to come along and try to grab the party for themselves, but also to get the date wrong. Someone wisely pointed out that our calendar is full of names derived from pre-christian myths. Wish me a happy or merry whatever. Even better, do it with a class of eggnog and rum.

  22. illdoittomorrow says

    Holytape at 18,

    Telling costumers to leave before they get close enough to the sign to read it is probably not the message they wanted to convey.

    Well, maybe not consciously…

  23. JoeBuddha says

    When I first heard about PC, it was about conservatives whinging about being called out for abusive language. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. Demanding we all say, “Merry Christmas”, just to spare their feelings is the essence of Political Correctness.

  24. Dreaming of an Atheistic Newtopia says

    @23 blf
    Ah, fuck…all i wanted for christmas was to pretend like there aren’t delusional, religious fanatics in my country.

  25. jrkrideau says

    No problem with Christmas, but many more crap xmas carols and I may not be responsible.

    Being somewhat old fashioned, “Io Saturnalia”.

  26. Menyambal - "Bah! Humbug." says

    The pilgrims that these guys think founded America came here to get away from Christmas. The date of Christ’s birth wasn’t given in the Bible, and one gospel doesn’t even mention the birth at all, nor does the Bible say to remember the day and keep it holy. Which is good, because almost everything thing we do at Christmas is pagan – the Bible even forbids decorating trees. Spelling it “Christmas” and saying “krizmuz” instead of “Christ mass” is pretty dang slovenly. And using the word “merry” is just drunken party talk – the day should be joyful, or truimphant, or exultant, or even solemnly religious, but merriment is not appropriate.

  27. says

    Christmas has been a mostly secular holiday in the US for years. The amount of time people, even religious people, spend on entirely secular activities–partying, cooking, eating, shopping, traveling, enjoying the company of friends & family, drinking, more eating, more shopping, watching movies, watching TV, etc. etc.– far outweighs time spent praying, praising, and worshiping.

    My atheist nephew married into a Hindu family earlier this year. Guess where he’ll be spending Christmas Day this year.

  28. Lesbian Catnip says

    I reiterate:

    The war on xmas never would have happened if it didn’t try to annex November!

  29. Onamission5 says

    The war on xmas never would have happened if it didn’t try to annex November

    Or October, September, or fucking August. Yup, Christmas crap alongside back to school supplies is what’s done it for me. Tinsel and pencils on sale at the same time is so not on.

  30. says

    Not only is that sign not ‘politically incorrect’, it actually does advocate political correctness. If demanding that other individuals use a specific greeting during casual encounters, in case they offend the local majority, isn’t ‘PC’, then what the fuck is?

    The morons who whinge the most about political correctness are always its main practicioners.

  31. kiptw says

    In the parking lot at a former workplace, I used to see a pickup (well, of course) with one of those “THESE COLORS DON’T RUN!” bumper stickers, printed in red, black, and blue on a white background. Coincidentally, one of the things I learned in that job is that different colors of ink fade in different ways. Red fades the fastest, i learned, and this was borne out by the sticker, which had used red for the word “DON’T.” It was just perfect.

    I suspect the owner of the vehicle never caught wise, which makes it even better.

  32. roachiesmom says

    Lesbian Catnip and Onamission 5 at 37 and 38 respectively — I have to disagree. I’m all for that. I can remember several years ago, I desperately needed some holiday items to get ahead on some art/craft projects, and there was nothing to be had, and not too long after that, stores started drifting the seasonal lines back, and things started being available earlier and earlier.

    Sadly, that managed to coincide with my money for things like that becoming completely non-existent. Of course. But hey, someday….

  33. rubaxter says

    Ahh, another nascent Donald Trump Business Person, who thinks because they’re greedy enough to own a business to dodge taxes and stiff their employees they have the right to tell other people how to think and what they can say… Just a tiresome load of blowhards who only get attention because some people need the paycheck.

  34. says

    Teleporting some Puritans onto Bill O’Reilly’s set during one of his War on Christmas bullshit fests would be amusing. First they would freak out over the idea that celebrating Christmas is some sort of proof that the US is a Christian nation, and that not celebrating it means you’re a bad person.(The typical Fox watcher would at this point start shouting at his TV about these strangely dressed “leftists” talking PC nonsense.) Then hopefully they’d figure out somehow that O’Reilly is a Roman Catholic, which would freak them out even more. A Papist, telling Americans what to do. Surely it must be some perfidy by the evil bastard at the Vatican.

  35. woozy says

    Anti-PC yahoo: I hate this sensitivity. So, you’re offended. You don’t have right not to be offended.

    Me: yeah, I kinda agree. As an athe….

    APCY: I’m offended by your being offended.

    Me: ha-ha. That’s a good one. Now, as an….


  36. says

    “She worried about what children would think of the change.

    I am really interested in hearing her opinion about the ever increasing popularity of gifts on Christmas since that is clearly a change from the good Spanish christian tradition…

  37. woozy says

    Hey, does anyone remember the 70s and very early 80s and the backlash to “Have a nice day”; how it was a creeping hedonistic Californication and direct attack on sincerity and intelligence?

  38. says

    Cross-posted from the Moments of Political Madness thread.

    Two Faux News hosts teamed up to make a connection between secular humanists “sucking the joy out of Christmas,” and “the rise of Islam.”

    I think this makes Pharyngulites responsible for ISIS. /sarcasm

    […] “She said that they’re just sucking the joy out of Christmas,” Starnes explained. “That’s exactly what they’re doing.”

    “Just sucking the joy out of Christmas,” Varney repeated with a theatrically heavy heart, at which point the conversation turned very serious.

    “And look at what’s filling the void,” Starnes replied. “You’ve got the rise of Islam across Western Europe right now — I think we need to start paying really close attention because here in this country, we are right on the cusp of that purge, getting rid of Christianity from the public marketplace. And what’s going to fill the void? It will be secular humanism.”

    Salon link

  39. DLC says

    I don’t know about you folks, but I’m just about tired of hearing “It’s not Politically Correct, but . . . ” used as a form of fig leaf to cover all manner of racism, bigotry or other form of stupidity. Most recently it’s been anti-muslim sentiment, but the phrase has been used to cover all manner of ass-hattery. It’s much like “Oh, I don’t hate ______ but . . . “

  40. microraptor says

    I’ve said it before, but as soon as you hear someone bring up political correctness, it’s because they’re being a bully but trying to frame it as if they’re the real victim.

    Also, I’m at work and just heard four different renditions of White Christmas in twenty minutes. I’m officially ready to actually start a War on Christmas.