Liven up that Christmas get-together!

I’m more than a little tired of Christmas carols now — to be honest, I was exasperated around Halloween — so I don’t know if changing the lyrics is quite enough. But maybe it will work for you: here’s a gallery of scientific songs of praise, mostly familiar Christmas carols with fresh words.

I think I’ll stick with my usual medley of Nine Inch Nails songs of angst and frustration.


  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    You’re famous now

    Local blogger and biology professor PZ Myers railed for years against the bells that tolled near his home, rousing him from sleep with the sound of “hymns. Cheesy hymns, played mechanically on an electronic carillon.” …

  2. says

    Christopher Wargo:

    Whoa, PZ listens to, and likes, Nine Inch Nails?

    Oh yes, such a fuckin’ shock. Those of us who are in their late fifties, did you give a thought, perhaps, as to when we were growing up, what kind of music was popular? I’ll wait while you think that one through.

  3. blf says

    Those of us who are in their late fifties, did you give a thought, perhaps, as to when we were growing up, what kind of music was popular?

    Rocks? I think they were using two of them by then, albeit if I recall my own childhood correctly, they hadn’t yet mastered the art of banging them together at that time. Which is where the Rolling came from, having yer head played by a Rock sufficiently often or hard, and you do start Rolling…

  4. says

    Caine, I think my surprise is warranted. It’s uncommon, but obviously not unheard of. For all I know, he might pop in Black Flag and watch Cannibal Holocaust every Christmas. I’d be just as surprised.

  5. says

    What, you’d be surprised that I’d listen to an anti-authoritarian hard core punk band led by an atheist that formed while I was in my college years?

    Welp, I wonder if Netflix has any reruns of the old Lawrence Welk show.

  6. says

    Christopher Wargo @ 10:

    Caine, I think my surprise is warranted.

    No, it isn’t. You don’t seem to take a hint, so perhaps a building – PZ and I grew up with burgeoning rock ‘n’ roll, punk (the authentic deal) and more. All you’re doing at this point is confirming that you aren’t terribly fuckin’ bright.

  7. HidariMak says

    I tend to escape the inanity of Christmas carols with the Bob Rivers versions. “Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire”, the What’s-it-to-ya course, and “Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow, Yellow Snow” for example.

  8. Bruce Keeler says

    Idiot students and grading of papers,
    Getting the snow off my car with ice scrapers,
    The carols while shopping that this season brings,
    These are a few of my least favorite things.

    Big crowds at Walmart and Black Friday fighting,
    Family feuding and Christmas card writing,
    Standing in line to send gifts through the post,
    These are a few of the things I hate most!

  9. Richard Smith says

    That reminds me; I haven’t listened to either “A Very Scary Solstice” or “An Even Scarier Solstice,” nor have I even hung up the tentacle stocking that came with the pair… I wonder what sort of havoc would arise if I played a random mix of those two albums and some Jingle Cats?

  10. David Eriksen says

    Re: Wargo, Caine, and PZ @various

    I’m not sure why anyone should be surprised. I’m closing in on 40 and my father has seen NIN in concert almost as many times as I have.

  11. loreo says

    If The Downward Spiral was a US citizen, it would be old enough to drink by now.

    And of course lyrics like


    are quite cheery to all us soulless chaos entities.

  12. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    I recommend Tull’s Solstice Bells, to keep with the secular sense we (royal ‘we’, that is) prefer.
    Admittedly, suggestion sort of inspired by recent OP by PZ about bells ringing 24/7 obnoxiously.
    I promise, Tull don’t do them that way.