I don’t have to think about it, Jesus


Seriously, I don’t need a first century mystic to explain the complexities of the biology of sex to me, but if it makes some heads explode, I’m all for it.

Comments

  1. Holms says

    Of course he has a Y chromosome, the Bible says so! Well not in so many words, but if you read between the lines it’s there, plain as day.

  2. says

    Presumably, even without a Y chromosome, Jesus still had male genitalia, otherwise some eyebrows would have risen at his circumcision?

  3. says

    This doesn’t make my head explode, but if it achieves that with anyone, good. I don’t think this would get through to theists though, I’m sure there are apologetics for this somewhere.

  4. davidnangle says

    NelC, He was circumcised for our penis’s sins? That would cover a lot of ground. You’ve got to wonder what else was left to pardon with the whole cross thing.

  5. Athywren - Frustration Familiarity Panda says

    Amusing comic is amusing! (I know nobody could prove it, but surely making people’s heads explode is murder? Jesuuus! You’ve been a VERY naughty boy!) However, I can’t help but notice that the previous comic is maybe even more well suited to this blog – http://nonadventures.com/2015/10/10/cuttle-buddies/
    Hooray for indiscriminate Celphalopods!

  6. anteprepro says

    The actual answers to this are entertaining:
    http://www.sltrib.com/lifestyle/ci_3207769

    The SRY gene was on Mary’s X chromosome or something.

    “”Of course Jesus had DNA and a Y chromosome – and the source for half of that DNA [and the Y chromosome] would presumably be pure and simple miracle” [Actual. Quote]

    “God created something like a sperm and caused it to fertilize Mary’s egg” [Another. Actual. Quote}

    Whatever, I’m not Catholic, there was no virgin birth. But Jesus is still magic!

    Also: http://bibleanswerstand.org/QA_DNA.htm

    God put the Y chromosome directly into Mary’s ovum!

    http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=84865

    All genetic material comes from God!
    It’s a miracle, stop asking questions!!!
    Don’t mix science and religion!

  7. Dreaming of an Atheistic Newtopia says

    If it was a very large clitoris, does that mean Jesus came pre-circumsized, and that he had to squat to pee?

  8. Owlmirror says

    The whole “the son proceeds from the father” really makes much more sense if you think of it as being a preformationist concept. The 3rd person of the trinity turned himself into a spermatozoic homunculus, and entered Mary’s womb (which, like a fertile field, doesn’t contribute anything to the fetus except nutrition) to grow into a baby.

    Some babies look like their mothers because fetal development can be affected by maternal visual impressions.

  9. quotetheunquote says

    Don’t mix science and religion!

    Oh, if only, if only … they would practise what they preach.

  10. laurentweppe says

    That wasn’t a penis. He just had a very large clitoris.

    Aren’t all penises basically large clitoris?

    ……
    Wait a minute: I’m explaining the joke, aren’t I?

  11. Dreaming of an Atheistic Newtopia says

    @18 laurentweppe
    Not really. Both are phalluses, but technically a clitoris doesn’t envelop the distal portion of the urethra, while a penis does. The distinction is murky and there are all sorts of intermediate features, but that’s pretty much what the differences between the two amount to.

  12. Jake Harban says

    Why couldn’t Jesus have inherited a Y chromosome from his (genetic) father? Being a virgin birth isn’t really relevant— I’m pretty sure they could have figured out artificial insemination back then even without God’s assistance.

  13. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    makes sense to ?? Male is the default, it only takes those chromysomies to make a woman instead (after all man was first and woman just an afterthought for appeasing the man, eh). Disregard what bio-loggy tells us, that’s only Science, Religion is the thuthier truth.
    *head *asploding*

  14. Holms says

    I’m not sure why people are surprised at the apologist answers. The entire birth story is counterfactual, there’s no reason the Y chromosome need be bound by logic. “God put it there along with the rest of the miraculous conception” aaaaand done.

  15. DonDueed says

    Wait a second, though… at least two of the Gospels trace Jesus’s genealogy back to King David… through Joseph. And since the Bible is 100% all true no lie, then J-dog must have been carrying Joseph’s Y chromosome.

    So that must mean… er, hang on, I got this… Joseph was God? Wait, that can’t be right. So God used Joseph as a sperm donor? Kinky.

  16. Pierce R. Butler says

    My first thought: “When will so-far-unnamed superhero(ine) in the first panel complete her sentence fragment?”

  17. robro says

    I told a colleague at work about this, and she reasoned that chromosomes didn’t exist back then. They weren’t invented until the 19th/20th century. So there.

  18. rietpluim says

    Come on everybody, it’s not that hard. Yahweh is male so He must have an XY chromosome pair. There was a 50% chance that the Holy Spirit, who impregnated Mary, carried an X instead of a Y chromosome and Jesus became female.

    I just came to realize that with the Holy Spirit being a sperm cell, the Holy Trinity makes a lot more sense.