You are either lucky or wise. It was a terrible portent of worse to come as this nightmarish campaign season progresses.
But if you want to figure out what was said without the agony of watching those ratfkers writhing on stage, this summary by Robin Marty is good. A sample:
As the dust settled from another struggle between Fox and Trump, somewhere in there Rand Paul was asked a question and I missed it, but the answer was that “I don’t want my guns or my marriage registered in Washington.” You can insert your own big government question yourself and likely be close enough. Soon after there was a literal 20-second dash in and out of the #Blacklivesmatters debate, where Walker answered that we need to better train police officers then danced away without actually discussing racism or police violence.
The answer still probably had more depth than Governor Mike Huckabee’s next answer, which was that trans people should not be allowed into the military because, “The point of the military is to kill people and break things. It’s not a social experiment.” Maybe Huckabee should tell that to the 15,000 trans military members currently serving.
There was so much more: Paul and Christie bellowing at each other about who had hugged the most right people, everyone agreeing to defund Planned Parenthood, that fanatical gleam in Huckabee’s eye, Carson’s tax plan that is modeled after tithing because “God is a pretty fair guy”, the terrible moderators, and the amazing ability of the ‘debaters’ to dodge questions completely.
And it ended with Megyn Kelly asking the candidates if God talks to them. What do you think the answer was?
aziraphale says
Can’t seem to comment. Is it being moderated?
Nemo says
I think even Megyn Kelly realized how bad the “God” question was — and that she was only going to get banal responses — because, after the first two or so candidates she asked it of, she started adding questions, so they got “God and this other thing”.
I was surprisingly not too horrified by the debate. Of course, I came in with very low expectations. But the crowd seemed noticeably less vicious than I remember from the 2012 debates, and they even appeared to cheer for gay marriage, at one point. But I realize, it’s early yet.
madtom1999 says
Over here in the UK some of us are kickstarting a Mars colony just in case…
doublereed says
I was horrified when Marco Rubio basically said he would force a rape victim to carry the rapist’s child. It was the only time in the debate that I was rather surprised by the hideous answer.
The crowd was cheering for everything though. Like when Christie and Rand were arguing about surveillance, they cheered both sides. Although I’m pretty sure republicans in general are on Rand’s side of that argument, so I’m pretty sure Christie is done. They didn’t even bring up his scandals.
Bruce says
Rand doesn’t want his marriage registered in DC, so he should have supported equality.
I note he also doesn’t want his eye doctors registered in DC, nor in Lexington.
As either Rand or MaoTse Tsung said, let ten thousand eye doc experimenters bloom.
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says
[derail alert]
No, I avoided GOP clownshow like the plague. Dipped into the lifetime replay of memorable Jon Shows on the ComedyCentral network. The Finale was superb. An awesome sendoff of an awesome host. Colbert popped in and metaphored that Colbert was Sam to Jon’s Frodo. (Colbert was Sam cuz he is adult sized, without hairy toes (like Jon) *smirk*, to which Jon grinned in agreement)
Jon’s final words were a lesson in how to shield oneself from all the bullshit that is everywhere. [worth transcribing, please someone transcribe. my DVR dont have Siri to do voice-to-text transcription ;-( ]
Without recapping the entire show, of which I am tempted but inadequate. The Final Moment of Jon’s Zen, was ultimate. THE BOSS, and E Street rocked it. The first song was perfect: “Land of Hope and Dreams” was a fitting recap&farewell to an icon of pointed satire. The denouement was the classic “Born To Run”, followed by moments of hugs twixt Jon&Bruce and Jon and each of the E Street. [especially woman-with-red-hair]
ummmm, sorry for the derail, hoping to relieve Robin’s hangover from the GOP drinking game during the GOP clownfest.
#JonVoyage
(the Nerdist hashtag for Stewart’s departure)
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says
I would be horrified too (if I actually watched it instead of … (see 6)
I read a recap, somewhere (maybe the Robin piece or one on Slate) where it said the full question to Rubio included “life threatening pregnancy”, as in “would you let the woman die rather than let her have an abortion”, to which he said “yes, I’d rather: she die, than kill”.
If I read that wrong please precisely quote the question and Rubio’s response.
I fear I suffer from confirmation bias where I only hear the worst from those I dislike (as well as the converse, only the best from those I like).
doublereed says
Transcript of debate
@7 slithey tove
Nah. Rubio’s question was just about rape/incest exceptions, because he has previously voted for legislation on it. He basically said that he doesn’t actually favor such exceptions, which was frankly just surprising.
However, Scott Walker did get a similar question which included life-threatening pregnancy and his answer was horrifying.
Tashiliciously Shriked says
I think it is incredible bullshit that a candidate debate was locked to people with a specific cable subscription, but then again maybe fox wanted it to be a choir preaching moment.
I also think it hillarious that they tried to torpedo trump but only made him look stronger. Go for the nom, toupee one!
Rey Fox says
Jeez, I thought I was cynical about the military.
Rey Fox says
So, is this the part where people come in and crow about the Republican party being doomed? Because you’ve been saying that for years, and yet they’re still here. With a majority in both houses of Congress and arguably the Supreme Court as well. I don’t find the Republican debate funny, partly because it’s the same jokes they’ve been telling over and over and over again for the last 20 years at least, and partly because it’s fucking scary. Face it people: There’s, by my estimation, at least a 25% chance that Trump is gonna be President.
Martin Wagner says
I must admit I was really hoping to hear each one of them claim to have been specifically chosen for the presidency by God, followed by an all-out brawl.
slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says
Thank you, David Itzkoff, for the transcript of “Bullshit” I asked for @6.
eeyore says
Doublereed and Slithey Tove, the argument is that you shouldn’t kill a child because its father is a rapist. And yes, I did notice how that argument treats women as if they don’t exist.
Lynna, OM says
Lindsey Graham said that only candidates willing to put troops on the ground in Syria, and to start a war in Iran should be considered as serious candidates for the presidency.
Marginally worse than Rubio’s comment?
Lynna, OM says
In the earlier, “kid’s table” debate, the only candidate addressed solely by her first name was Carly Fiorina.
During that debate, Fox News repeatedly included shots of the empty auditorium. It looked like a deliberate attempt to demean the candidates.
Regarding my comment 15, Lindsey Graham made the war-is-necessary comments during the kid’s table debate.
Lynna, OM says
During the main stage event, John Kasich was reasonable and articulate. He defended the Affordable Care Act. In Republican Crazy Land, Kasich lost.
bahrfeldt says
In answer to your title question, no. I did not see the “debate” but I certainly do not miss it. Based on news clips and summaries and blog entries and comments, I would find a WWE in ring “contract signing” more believable and relevant.
Lynna, OM says
As Bernie Sanders said, “Not one word about economic inequality, climate change, Citizens United or student debt.”
yazikus says
Except for when (Kasich, I think) said that all Americans should be treated the same way under the law in response to the #blacklivesmatter question. The applause was tepid at best.
moarscienceplz says
Funny, people are always telling me the point of the U.S. military is to protect people and things. I guess Huckabee accidentally said something true last night.
moarscienceplz says
That’s because words are unnecessary. Everybody knows the GOP words for those issues:
Economic inequality – for it.
Climate change – doesn’t exist.
Citizens United – for it.
Student debt – for it.
microraptor says
Did I miss the Republican Debate last night?
Judging by what I’ve seen online post-debate, I truly didn’t.
grendelsfather says
How can I miss them, when they won’t go away?
Lynna, OM says
Some lies from the Republican Debate:
First up, Chris Christie:
Next up, the kid’s table debate moderator, Fox News’s Martha MacCallum, included, if not lies, at least misleading information in her questions:
Next up, all of the Republican candidates who think that a fertilized egg is a human being, a person.
Lynna, OM says
Trump lied about only insulting Rosie O’Donnell. Megyn Kelly caught that:
“You once told a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president?” Kelly asked.
Lynna, OM says
Donald Trump didn’t like the results from one of the focus groups gathered by Fox News pollster Frank Luntz to watch the debate. The Donald took to twitter to hit Frank Luntz:
ryancunningham says
The Republicans could save a lot of time and money if they just locked all the candidates in a room full of puppies and gave the nomination to the candidate who strangled the most.
Tethys says
Trump also went on a twitter rampage last night after the debate, most of which was sexist asshat comments about how mean Megyn Kelly was to him,
a sample tweet
Personally, the owners of Fox news getting into a feud with the Republicans sounds like exactly what the USA political process needs. I predict some spectacular melt downs this election season. Fox News Is Breaking Up With Donald Trump. Now He’s Freaking Out on Twitter
treefrogdundee says
If Trump gets elected I’m moving to Canada! Or getting a divorce. Or setting myself on fire. Oh, who am I kidding? Snowball’s chance in hell…
actias says
God spoke to me, and he told me to move to Germany.
kayden says
Didn’t watch the Clown Debates (the one at 5 or the one at 9) but my understanding is that Jeb Bush did poorly. Kind of surprising since many believe he will end up as a the Republican candidate. He’s going to have to use that $100,000,000 very wisely.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/jeb-bushs-campaign-raised-11-4-million-in-two-weeks-1436466491
WhiteHatLurker says
Well, if you’re not going to tell us the answer …
Only when I do the really freaky drugs.
No, because only nut cases talk with God.
You’re cute. What are you doing after the debate?
Hello GOD! Mind if I answer this one?
Talk to him? Try and get him to shut up!
God told me to run in this election. I think he’s messing with me. I’ll be the “Job” president.
shadow says
@28 ryancunningham:
Heathcliff from “Wuthering Heights”? I’d prefer locking them all in a single room and then tossing in some swords. There shall be only one!
futurechemist says
I vaguely remember 1 of the abortion answers (I forget who) basically said “science proves that life begins at conception because the fertilized embryo contains DNA” or some other science fail.
It’s disappointing how non-diverse the Republican frontrunners are. Of the 10 in the main debate there were no women. Though on the Democratic side it’s not hugely diverse either. By my count, of the 17 Republican and 5 Democratic candidates there are 16 straight white men.
I watched most of the debate, but I came away thinking that nobody really distinguished themselves. Except maybe Rand Paul slightly, most of the answers just held to the party line. Abortion is bad, guns are good, we need to invade other countries, etc..
blf says
Or an ancient Roman-ish approach: Lock all the candidates in a room full of hungry lions and give the nomination to whoever is alive a few days later, when all the screaming stops and it is reasonably safe to enter. A constipated lion would be a significant improvement over any of any of the Klown Kar Kooks.
The Vicar (via Freethoughtblogs) says
@#34, shadow
No, no, it would end up being kodoku. The one which remained would be the most toxic of all of them.
microraptor says
@The Vicar
Guess there’s only one solution.
Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened says
Seriously. Can you imagine this question being asked of a UK candidate with no mockery intended?