I never thought it would happen, but the flaming radicals here in rural Minnesota are actually rising up to overthrow the system. Tonight, 1 November, at 6pm, the 99% (which should be about 4,950 people, given the population of our town) are meeting on the campus mall to MARCH ON MORRIS. Which means about a ten-minute walk.

I’ll be there. Everyone should show up. All you townies and students, country farmers, vagrants passing through, faculty and staff, hardworking blue-collar wage slaves, come on out tonight!

I’m hoping this will be the seminal event that crystallizes the whole movement and shatters the dominant paradigm. It could happen. You don’t want to miss it, do you?


  1. says

    Yes, I’m dripping a trail of thousand dollar bills as I climb down the thousands of meters of stairs in my majestic, centrally located tower.

    But that doesn’t mean I can stop caring about the little people, or rushing to ingratiate myself with them before they line me up against the bullet-pocked wall.

  2. Coyotenose says

    Even now, the police must be shining their riot helmets and blacking their riot boots in preparation to crush this uprising.

    *checks Morris P.D. website*

    Or providing helpful public information on H1N1 and product safety recalls. Whichever.

    And hey, Katherine Lorraine has a point. Isn’t PZ the 1% of Morris? Shouldn’t Occupy Morris be pooping* in HIS yard in freezing temperatures?

    (Heh. Zach Weiner was right. Poop jokes are always topical.)

  3. =8)-DX says

    Hmm, just wondering: don’t ihabitants of a city already “occupy” the city they live in? In theory you’d have to go somewhere else to occupy it.

  4. julian says

    In theory you’d have to go somewhere else to occupy it.

    Not really. An occupation is pretty much any hostile or non friendly force moving into an area and refusing to leave.

  5. Janine Is Still An Asshole, OM, says

    PZ is so deep in the pockets of ACORN that he needs a snorkel in order to breathe.


  6. Ing says


    They were going to end it, but the hope generated enough renewed interest in lapsed fans that they got another season.

  7. Janine Is Still An Asshole, OM, says

    PZ is so deep in the pockets of ACORN he’s shitting squirrels

    You know that if PZ is going to be shitting any animals, it will not be any mammal. Start with the zebrafish.

  8. says

    That is awesome, PZ. If it creates anything like the feeling we get hanging out at Zuccoti Park, you’ll be more inspired and hopeful for change than a thousand Obama ’08 campaigners put together.

    I was under the distinct impression PZ shat cats. No?

  9. nemo the derv says

    Got an idea for you PZ.
    Buy a cheap tent, set it up in a nearby park and then, when it’s time for bed, go home. Just leave the tent there.

    Nobody will know the difference and you won’t have a tear gas canister impacting your skull.
    I suspect that there are millions of tents sitting in attics and garages that haven’t been used in decades. This is something that a working person who cannot otherwise attend a protest can do.
    And if it doesn’t work at least there’s a chance some homeless person can get a little protection from what looks like a long winter coming.
    Is this a good idea or am i being stupid?

  10. says

    For everyone going to these sorts of events, dress your best and attend to your hygene. From what I know, cops going crazy on well-dressed, clean individuals tends to generate more sympathy for a cause than cops going crazy on “dirty hippies.”

    In this particular case, it’s the way the world works, rather than how it should work.

  11. raven says

    Don’t throw stuff at the cops. That just makes them mad. Have your own demo monitors to keep any hotheads or agents provacateurs in line.

    When the police with batons and riot shields charge:

    Start chanting, “The whole world is watching”. Just to make sure they are, have a lot of video cameras.

    If they start swinging the batons, protect your head first. They always seem to aim for the head.

    If it is raining, don’t forget your umbrella.

  12. Matt Penfold says

    If I recall PZ says he knows the Chief of Police in Morris, having taught his daughter.

  13. says

    I’m not worried about the police. This is a very small town, a small group, and everyone already knows everyone else. Everything will be peaceable and calm, which means of course that everyone will go home afterwards for dinner and nothing newsworthy will happen. But it’s the right thing to do anyway!

  14. says

    Most funny thread ever. PZ’s minions are brilliant.

    If they start swinging the batons, protect your head first. They always seem to aim for the head.

    Old people from the Midwest might remember the police riot in 1968 Chicago. To save my head I was running, then tripped, and then noticed I was surrounded by Chicago pigs. I said “I surrender” which worked. They said some things that were not very nice but at least I didn’t have to go to the hospital.

  15. Francisco Bacopa says

    Comment #20 has a link to that poster that recommends making an eyewash out Maalox. On another site I frequent there is some debate as to how this works. I have been arguing that it is not qua antacid that that it does work. I think that the surfactants, the “coating” and “soothing” chemicals, glom on to the tear gas and pepper spray forming micelles that can be rinsed away.

    If this is the case, then eyelid scrubs or very dilute baby shampoo might be better choices. Any chemists out there know what is up? I’d really like to know.

    Also, people have been posting clips from Network. I think it might also be a good idea to listen to what Herman Blume has to say.

    “They cant buy backbone” would be an awesome slogan.

    But srsly, am I right about surfactants, detergents and tear gas?

  16. raven says

    I wasn’t entirely serious, realizing this is Morris, Minnesota, not NYC or Oakland.

    It’s still a good idea to have demo monitors just to keep everything running smoothly and in case people get lost or confused.

    And hotheads and agent provocateurs definitely exist. I’ve had dealings in the distant past with agent provocateurs. They are police or police informers who try to get people to burn down buildings or throw stuff at the police. So the police can makes some high profile arrests.

    Just because you can’t imagine how gruesome, slimey, and weird the world is, doesn’t mean it can’t get gruesome, slimey, and weird really fast. Chances are it can.

    The video cameras are a good idea too. It’s better to have them and not need them, then to not have them and need them.

  17. kevindowd says

    “I’m not worried about the police. ”

    well you should use your influence to get them to use pepper spray on use so you can make the media!

  18. Dust says

    Good to hear! I visited my local #occupiers yesterday. A small but expanding group. Brought them cookies (not homemade tho’, don’t bake), had a great conversation with the 3 that were there, and gave them hugs.

    Made me proud they did. Hope they have a march this weekend so I can participate.

  19. otrame says

    Human ape said

    then noticed I was surrounded by Chicago pigs

    Okay, first, the way that many cops (not all) in Chicago behaved during the 1968 riots (for those who do not know, it was the cops who rioted, not the “hippies”) makes calling them pigs an insult to pigs.

    Second, calling cops pigs is inappropriate. Yes I know it was common in those days. That doesn’t make it right.

    It is true that many cops behave badly. Others do the best they can to protect people and are doing a very difficult job and calling them names is despicable. YOU try being a cop for a while–doing it right, mind you, in spite of all the difficulties–and see how you like someone calling you names just because you are a cop.

  20. Lurker says

    One other suggestion I’ve seen is to send “occupy wall street” flyers back to the banks in those envelopes that come with the credit card offers.

    Occupy everywhere!

  21. says

    Awesome! Glad you are operating your right to fight the status quo…..disregard the nay sayers. I have gone to a few of the occupy marches here in Birmingham, AL – we are in solidarity with you all :D

  22. JediBear says

    The alarmism about police reaction is just that…alarmism. All we’ve had so far are a few small, isolated incidents in large communities with a history of that sort of thing.

    My understanding is that Morris is considerably smaller than Richland — which has had no incidents. PZ’s not going to make the nightly news.

  23. spondee says

    I was always told a water staurated bandana (though difficult to breathe through) was the real tear gas tool. I am pretty sure the key word in that sentance is “told.”

  24. stubby says

    Damn it all it is almost 9pm and I am just reading this. I would have drove the 20 miles and walked with you hosers:(

  25. Pierce R. Butler says

    Oops, I forgot about the infamous FreeThoughtBlogs timestamp warp.

    Anyway, the Morris revolution was supposed to have been launched several hours ago – anyone hear what happened?

  26. dartigen says

    I hope Morris stays quiet, but I’d still go fully prepared for tear gas etc.
    Biggest piece of advice: invest in a good, strong bicycle helmet. It could be the difference between a minor concussion and hospital.

    I keep wanting to go to the Occupy protests in Melbourne, but a) I can’t drive there on my Ls, and b) I still have 7 weeks left in the term so I need to at least get that work done. I can do most of my work off-campus, but assessments have to be done in the presence of a lecturer.

  27. says

    Tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep, you can let us know how it went.

    I’ve read that the best thing for washing off tear gas and pepper spray is 10% solution of baby shampoo in water. Maalox is an antacid that should help neutralize acid sprays, e.g. tear gas as you move calmly out of the are. Tear gas is used to panic demonstrators and make them run, making them look out of control, so try to withdraw smoothly.

  28. Jefrir says

    First Aid advice for CS gas is waft it with air to get it to clear quicker, do not add water as this makes it worse. I am therefore somewhat wary of the various theories here about how to deal with it; they may improve matters, or they may make things a fuck of a lot worse. I’d stick with the slower but more reliable method of getting somewhere with clear air and fanning the eyes.

  29. julian says

    First Aid advice for CS gas is waft it with air to get it to clear quicker, do not add water as this makes it worse

    A cold shower helps. Just keep it a cold shower and a hot one otherwise you end up filling your whole bathroom with it. From what I’ve seen it’s heat+water that activates CS gas (probably why it stings so bad when you sweat). You’d be fine running something like water from a cold hose over your eyes to clear them out.

  30. julian says

    “Just keep it a cold shower and a hot one…”

    should be

    “Just keep it a cold shower and not a hot one