As I mentioned before, there is now a collection of happy bible standers on the web. I do have to mention, though, that the toes with my name on them are not mine! I did not submit a photo, I do not paint my nails, and I think my prehensile big toe would be more noticeable.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
One of my daughters & i will have to do this. One of us on the feckin’ boible, the other of us on the feckin’ Koran.
Yes, but whose feet are they attached to? Come on, admit it, you were practising your Igoring.
Oh Gross! Bibles!
(Not the best looking feet either.)
Can we get another look at the Trophy Wife’s fancy socks?
Biblecaster!
Making it worse? How could it be worse? Jehovah, jehovah …
I had a friend who took a baby jesus figure and, using a nine inch nail (I will say nothing.), nailed the figure, through the crotch, to a bible.
He was once an altar boy.(No, he never said if he was molested.) He claims that he did to baby jesus what the church did to him.
Extra points for swearing while standing on the bible/koran/any other fictional book designed to extract money and devotion from the friends of P.T. Barnum.
I for one, would rather stand on the Pope.
More squishy, and the sound effects would be much better. It would also be a win, if I could compare and contrast the effects on Benny and Donahue. For extra credit, and even more fun, I could even do the test(s) with a with wafer / without wafer, as foot pressure was applied.
The Bible is better than faith, because you can stand upon it, use it as a doorstop, or prop up broken furniture with it.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Apparently, I’m the second Ben (the one with the copy of “American Theocracy” sinking into another dimension… or just into some deep carpet).
Stand! Don’t you know that you are free? Well, at least in your mind if you want to be.
Stand If you are confused, check with the sun.
J-Dog @9:
Don’t forget the hobnails! This NEEDS the hobnails!
Its funny, I’m actually not ginger, but I still do not have a soul. I have living brain cells(most of them) which are busy communicating with each other and the rest of my body, accepting input data, filtering and processing it, and logically(usually) deducing what to do next, and telling my musculoskeletal system to make it so. I do have two soles, however. (Oh, and I forgot: the soles in the freezer.)
Just piss on it.
he’s not showing my picture yet.
got one standing on a pile of books (including a childrens biblical stories book, the “bible” of herbs and the satanic bible).
I put my guineapig on one the pile too.. with it’s red eyes :)
Isn’t ANYONE gonna remark on the etymology of the word “superstition”?
K then, it’ll hafta be me.
…done.
This made me feel a little bit sad. I just started considering taking a picture like that and was thinking about my collection of holy books. I have a Book of Mormon, a recent translation of the Bible, a couple of New Testaments given to me by college proselytizers… But going through the list in my head made me remember what’s missing.
I used to have a beautiful, thick, leather bound bible from the mid to late 19th century, that I got amazingly cheap at a flea market. One of my most prized books – not for the content of course, but just because it’s such a beautiful old book. But somehow I lost it when I moved. I guess I was too godless for a beautiful Bible and He took it away ;)
Oh well. Maybe I’ll find it in one of the boxes I have in storage some day – that’s probably how I managed to misplace it. For now a law book from 1930 has been upgraded to the nicest old book in my collection.
Let’s have a national day of throwing the Gideons’ Bible out of hotel rooms. Straight out the window. All together now . . . hurl! (We can certainly stand on them first, just for fun and for feeling momentarily taller.)
And then we should replace them with something more entertaining and/or useful, such as the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Joy of Cooking.
I’d love to join in, where do you get one of these bible thingys?
Apparently those aren’t socks that I’m wearing!
All in all a bit of fun, heheh.
No, you wouldn’t, because that would be like standing on the thin shit cake in a cesspool with hundreds of feet with putrid liquid underneath.
Is this really what the “New” Atheism amounts to? A bunch of people delighting in the mistreatment of books? If so, then that does not exactly make me optimistic regarding the future of secularism.
your concern is noted
Concern? Where, where? Must be transferred to dah Colgate twins. Or sic the Pullet Patrol™ upon them…
Absolutely, that’s all it amounts to, standing on books, thats what we do. Oh, I think I’m not supposed to believe in stuff as well, but it’s mostly standing on books.
I went for extra sacriligiousness due to my crossdressing. http://www.flickr.com/photos/67297506@N00/4491289354/
Eat that, 1 Corinthians 6:9!
You have a prehensile what???
Mistreatment of books? Really? This is nothing. We could be creating huge bonfires and mistreating the books by tossing them on the burning pile. A book that has had some smelly human feed on its cover is still just as readable as it was before. I don’t think anyone’s going to be standing on anything that isn’t a mass produced, easily replaceable book.
Or maybe you could read what these pictures are a response to before getting so concerned and critical.
blah, proofreading failure. Smelly human feet, not feed, obviously.
French cheese? Durian?
Dear Eskydepth @23,
No, you miss the point. “New” Atheism amounts to a group of people with the freedom not to care how sad their footwear is, how munted their socks are or how scabrous their feet might be.You won’t find no disgusing podophiliacs amongst New Atheists (present company excluded). The true measure of how little NA’s care for their feet is the fact that they are willing to sully them by making contact with the execrable book of perverted sadism known as the Holy Scripture.
So sorry you are disappointed in the New Atheists. Why not turn to Catholicism? There’s not so many podophiles their either. But they have a fair few pedophiles,and a bunch of people delighting in the mistreatment of children must surely make you optimistic regarding the movement’s future.
SB
I don’t own a bible, so I can’t do this.
Exzyleph #23
We are not advocating that bibles should be confiscated. You are permitted to treat your bible as you see fit, but once a book no longer serves a useful purpose (and many of us consider the bible a totally useless waste of shelf space), then it should be let go, or, in this case, mocked and then disposed of in an environmentally responsible fashion. For the sake of satisfying our need to debunk the lies in the bible we have Skeptics Annotated Bible on the internet, so the text version is obsolete, and definitely not worthy of our concern.
We do not advocate burning bibles, that is wasteful. We also do not advocate praying (especially for our “souls”), as that is also a waste.
David Mabus doesn’t seem to be getting in on the fun.
Ha ha! Third one down!
… I didn’t get a joke, though. :(
Exzyleph wrote:
This makes me very pessimistic regarding the future of faitheist, new militant accomodationist concern-trolling – the kind that demonstrates a complete ignorance of so many things (humour, for one).
How long are we going to have to put up with these pissant whiners?
For crap’s sake, really?
The fact that many of us have bibles kicking around has got to tell you something about how we treat books– I am loathe to destroy any book*, even one as awful and useless as the bible.
*I seriously thought that I did actually toss my bibles ‘cos I needed the shelf space. Just goes to show that I wanted to, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.
*looks at small bible, and EEE feet, sees no hope of a fit*
In the interest of full disclosure, I did this once. Really. I stood on a bible and proclaimed that it was my foundation. If front of my brother. Oh, the embarrassment. All die.
I was living in Florida at the time and was expecting a visit from my brother who lived in Colorado. I knew he was en route but didn’t know just when he would arrive.
So. I’m driving home from work one afternoon, listening to the Christian radio station. (Yeah, I know. But I was so much younger then.) The vocally adept but intellectually bankrupt preacher had just spoken about challenging Dog. He, the preacher, encouraged me to have no fear and to challenge the lord to “raise up a standard before me!”
Well, I took him at his word and even repeated his evocation, slapping the seat beside me and demanding, aloud, mind you, that a standard be raised before me, no shit, no fooling around. I opened my prayer-squinted eyes and what do you think I saw through the windshield? My brother, walking in his distinctive gait, down the street towards my house.
I eased to a stop next to him. He got in. I began to regale him with some strong witness. When we got to the house I somehow managed to work the above stunt into my patter and shtick. At the time I seemed to feel pretty smart. Today I feel only embarrassed and ofttimes hopeful that the incident is too deply buried in the flotsam and jetsam of my life for anyone except me to recall.
I know how foolish people can be because I have been at least as foolish as people can be. I apologize for having been there and done that. I knew better. The woman encouraged me to eat. “S true!
I’m over all that now. I realize that there is a distinction between knowing and believing. I didn’t then. I was so much younger then, and wanted to believe like my friends. My friends were misled and so was I.
I have since apologized to my brother. He said there was nothing to apologize for. I still am trying to parse his reply.
I already throw them in the trash in hotel rooms where I stay, with feminine products on top of them for good measure. I don’t always stay in hotel rooms with windows that open. But when I do, I will have your national day every day! Trips to Houma and Odessa coming up, and if there is no Bible in the room, I will be shocked.
I sometimes have small children visiting. The house has to be safe for them, no bibles within reach. If you have similar visitors, please ensure that any stray bibles are safely out of their view. Same for stupid adults.
I seriously thought that I did actually toss my bibles ‘cos I needed the shelf space.
I have four copies of the Bible, all different versions, handy to pick up and show how they all contradict each other. My brother, who believes I tossed out my brains along with my religion, gave me a Bible as an Easter present a couple years ago. I was able to truthfully ask him if he still had the receipt so I could take it back, since I already had one. Bro, so smart in so many ways, actually thought that since I was an atheist I wouldn’t have a Bible in the house anymore. Actually not only do I have a Bible, but I also have the Koran, the Mahabharata, the Tao Te Ching, the Analects of Confucius, the Quaker book Faith and Practice, a book of Mormon, a copy of Dianetics, the Book of Common Prayer, the Iliad and the Odyssey, the Book of the Dead, the Satanic Bible, A Course In Miracles, and Atlas Shrugged. All on the same shelf, to confuse visitors.
@43:
Good place for them. The books and the visitors.
Kel I keep one near the head, for those Hector moments.
(Knock Knock….
Who’s there….?
Hector….
Hector Who?
Hector there ain’t no more T. P.)
badgersdaughter #43,
Yeah, not only do I have the two bibles kicking around, but I’ve got a koran, a couple of books by the Dalai Lama (thanks, Mom!), a book of Mormon, two copies of Dante’s Inferno, and a book of Norse mythology.
Atlas Shrugged, however… *shudder*. There is only so much crap one shelf can hold!
@OurDeadSelves
That is a good point, but I frankly still find this to be rather distasteful. And it’s not like you have to look any further than the comments here to find counter-examples. *shrug*
@cag
Can’t say that I have found Skeptic’s Annotated Bible to be all that useful.
May I suggest instead that you check out Bible Explorer*?
* With apologies to the originator.
And your concern is noted, douche.
Do you have anything to add other than your pearl-clutching concern?
podophile alert – saw some nice video of an old bloke doing a lot of foot washing over this weekend.
Juxtaposition of books is fun; though I now need a brain wipe to remove the thought of Ayn Rand giving ashiatsu massage to the Pope.
podophile, guanophrenic – You always say that Meester Fawlty, but I learn, everyday, I learn new words, I study and learn new things…
“with feminine products on top of them for good measure.”
Excellent choice. I admire your cleverness.
Thanks to #49, happy_heyoka for pointing out that:
The ability to learn has always been good to me; though not as timely as I might have liked. I made the connection between being teachable and being skeptical quite some time ago; the two temperaments are are
surprisinglyrewardingly compatible. Now I am challenged to teach my children’s children as much. Wish me luck, it can’t hurt.There is a poem that I learned in grade school, maybe someone here is familiar with it. In part it goes:
Moment by moment, said a thoughtful boy,
Moment by moment I’ll well employ.
Learning a little bit every day
And not spending all my time in play.
I still learn and I still play. I rather like the situation. Anyone able to supply the rest of the rhyme?
with feminine products on top of them for good measure.
Don’t know how true it is, but rumor in the feminist circles has it that you can reduce the chances of your car being stolen by having a tampon or sanitary napkin on the driver’s seat of your car. No, not used.
It’s amazing how many men think even the unused ones have girl cootie juju.
That is a good point, but I frankly still find this to be rather distasteful. And it’s not like you have to look any further than the comments here to find counter-examples. *shrug*
1) Nobody gives a shit what you have to say when it’s something as rude and stupid as what you’ve posted here.
2) If you came into my house and tried to tell me how I or my guests needed to behave, what activities to do or not, and how to do them, I’d throw your sorry ass out.
Don’t like what you see? LEAVE, and do it quietly.
Fucking douchebag.
I frankly find concern trolling rather distasteful.
CW @ #52
Here you go.
You mean they don’t? <:O
Maybe I could have expressed myself as tastefully as you did, Tis, but then all of you might wonder if I was sick or dying or something…
@47:
You haven’t “found Skeptic’s Annotated Bible to be all that useful?”
Perhaps you should read it, at length, and again with brain engaged. Yeah, I know. That’s a tall order. So is declaring magic to be truth.
Ahh! Thank you, Aquaria! So nice of you.
I’ve recalled those few lines ever since grade school. Now I’ve bookmarked your kind reference and am the wiser and happier. Almost like being back in my old school.
I like it when it works like that.
::::Looking for something to smack Tis with (playfully, of course)::::
#3:
Hey now! My feet were in shoes, so you have no evidence to base this accusation on!
*razzberry!*
btw, here are part two and part three of the “stand on your bible” collection :-)
Jadehawk,
I didn’t comment on the original “Standin’ all up on bibles” thread, but that boot of yours gave me nightmares.
*proud*
though, for accuracy’s sake I should fess up that it’s technically not mine. it’s the boyfriend’s.
@ Exzyleph
So is it really the “mistreatment of books” in general that’s got you so concerned? If so, you can rest assured that my 3 bibles are sitting back on the shelf none the worse for having been trounced upon. Ah, but really, even if I tore them all up, what’s the loss? All are mass-produced, will likely die a natural death before the century’s out, and could be easily replaced if anyone wanted to bother.
If your concern is the fact that these are [begin trumpet fanfare] teh biblez [end fanfare], sorry, but to be frank, if any book in the history of humankind deserved to be desecrated, burnt, spat upon & buried in excrement, this has got to be it. For all the beautiful (not to mention ugly) art the mythology has inspired, it’s far-outweighed by all the wasted lives and boundless suffering born from its pages.
If you’re interested in seeing my pictures (several, one with my black cat, and with my guineapig), i blogged about it:
http://www.omnipasje.net/?p=2354
(also if you’re interested in why i’m an atheist, i’m writing several posts about that.. have 2 so far about my childhood and such)
Is this really what the “New” Atheism amounts to? A bunch of people delighting in the mistreatment of books?
No, you intellectually dishonest git.
If so, then that does not exactly make me optimistic regarding the future of secularism.
The mental states of idiots are of no concern, especially when they are conditional on an obviously false premise.
Concerned @ 23,
The what?
I know it is distressing for christians that they can’t burn people who mock and question them and their stone age myths at the stake anymore like in the good old days, but there is nothing new about atheism, it’s just that more and more people don’t want to spend their life in guilt and shame and fear and say so.That can be frightening for ye of fragile faith, I know…
yay! He posted my guineapig!
Troeleke is now so famous for like 2 minutes!
*beam*
I just saw an add for I Am Not Ashamed, asking everyone to make a video reading their favorite passage from the Bible. I wanna read the one about the slut dreaming about her lovers who were hung like donkeys and came like horses.
Someone here has written a comic?
http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm162/proFits1/1270431665233.jpg
Better source:
http://dsfv.schnuerpel.eu/religion/an-open-letter-to-religious-people.jpg
PZ said: “I do have to mention, though, that the toes with my name on them are not mine! I did not submit a photo, I do not paint my nails, and I think my prehensile big toe would be more noticeable.”
Those toes belong to my daughter! When I saw your original post, I grabbed her immediately (she had just done her nails). Who knew they’d end up famous?
BTW, said daughter will be moving to Minnesota in the fall as incoming college freshman, though not at your school PZ, where she plans to pursue a degree in the sciences (physics/astronomy).
I’ve got a bible at home, too. It’s right next to my books on Greek, Norse, Chinese, and Egyptian mythology.
The fairy tales of ancient cultures are fascinating and a lot of fun to read!
Here is an titivated version of the bible that would tickle most atheists’ fancy:
http://community.bunkergate.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=681:the-bible-porn-version&catid=26:articles
unless you’re a bit of a prude.
Oh, it is in Danish, but as delicious as their pastry.
Kel @ #33:
I have a huge bible.
Will you be at the meetup tomorrow?
I could bring it along.
Well, Answers in Genesis did start this. They even have a cartoon for it.
John #71
Anything genocidal will do. The Song of Solomon and Revelations for comedy value, definitely…
The bible has more than a few passages about human ritual sacrifice on altars. Not all of them were of pagans either.