Bad idea, putting me on a poll


It’s just a silly online poll, and I don’t have a stake in how it comes out one way or the other, except for one thing: I must defeat Brad Pitt. I like the guy, and I’ve enjoyed his movies, and I’m happy that he’s come out as an atheist, but you know…I’m looking forward to being able to go into the bedroom and tell the Trophy Wife™ that I’m better than Brad Pitt at something. And she will say, “I know, baby, I know,” no matter what, but it would just be nice to have some statistical backing for the claim.

Atheist of the Year 2009

Richard Dawkins
32%
Bill Maher
15%
PZ Myers
17%
Greg Epstein
0%
Margaret Downey
13%
Fred Edwords
6%
Brad Pitt
15%

If you all run over there and push Brad Pitt over the top, at least I’ll still be able to demonstrate my superiority in one area with a graphical demonstration of Pitt’s hideous beards.

Anyway, have fun storming the poll, no matter how you vote!


P.S. I just realized that I have a trump card. Even if he beats me on this poll, I’ve still got a more attractive wife than he does. So go ahead, vote however you want, my ego is safe.

Comments

  1. HotDogBun says

    I do not understand how someone who does not identify himself as an atheist, criticizes atheism as though it were a religion, and is blatantly anti-science, is in the running for this award… much less being tied for 3rd place with 15%?!

  2. Newfie says

    That’s a squiggly squiddly beard on him though.. tout the cephalopods all you want, you couldn’t pull that off, methinks.

  3. Zeno says

    Only 215 votes so far?! I am not impressed. Is everyone actually out celebrating Christmas and little Baby Jesus?

    But PZ is right: This is his one chance to best Brad Pitt.

  4. JD says

    But Brad Pitt helped build neighborhoods in NOLA after Katrina. He couldn’t have done that without the guiding hand of a Jesus who wears fishing waders. No way.

  5. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    We can’t just elect you without good reason. Sure, you’re intelligent, a biologist, published research on zebra fish, like cephalopods, stood up for freedom of expression, and gave us a playground to grill stupidity, but are you sexier than Brad Pitt (when he was young)?

  6. asidity says

    68% when I voted. I would have voted for Dawkins, but he’s gotten soft (oh dear, there’s that “rift” again).

  7. aratina cage says

    I just voted and here are the results so far:

    Atheist of the Year 2009

    * Richard Dawkins
    19%
    * Bill Maher
    1%
    * PZ Myers
    69%
    * Greg Epstein
    0%
    * Margaret Downey
    2%
    * Fred Edwords
    0%
    * Brad Pitt
    6%

    Created on Dec 25, 2009

    Total Votes: 670

  8. mark.ormandy says

    PZs poll raping wins again :)

    Surprised as to the absence of Hitchens on that poll… I mean, Bill Maher, Greg Epstein, Brad pit etc got on it, but not Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris or Daniel Dennett?

  9. Pope Bologna XIII - The Glorious High Sauceror of Pastafarianism and Grand Poobah of His Holy Meatba says

    This poll is like a lamb to the slaughter.

  10. ~Pharyngulette~ says

    I predict this poll will be thoroughly pharyngulated in no time. Who’s ever heard of an online poll being “Pitted” anyway? Pffft. So there you go, PeeZed, you’re also better than Brad at directing your hordes of flying monkeys to vote as their rationality tells them to. (Besides, we women of Pharyngula loves us some hot intellect, don’t cha know.)

  11. Trophy Wife™ says

    Uh-oh! I’d better clarify. #11 was in reference to the post’s P.S. message. Zeno’s right. PZ, I’ll continue to cherish you in preference to Brad Pitt.

  12. AnneH says

    I’ve still got a more attractive wife than he does

    That’s true, since Brad Pitt isn’t married ;)

    (It’s a technicality, but I couldn’t resist)

  13. Steven Dunlap says

    Richard Dawkins
    18%
    Bill Maher
    1%
    PZ Myers
    71%
    Greg Epstein
    0%
    Margaret Downey
    1%
    Fred Edwords
    0%
    Brad Pitt
    5%

    I did not think to note the number of votes. But I suspect this poll has been pretty well Pharyngulated.

  14. ArmandTanzarian says

    I voted for before I realized it had already been Pharyngulated.

    Actually I would’ve voted for Stephen Fry if he were on. Though is he an atheist?

  15. DJSutton says

    Both Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie are atheists, if I’m not mistaken. And I’d take either one over Maher or Epstein.

  16. Mr T says

    PZ rocks. Duh!

    Dawkins and Pitt would be my next two choices, but they already get plenty of recognition. If Pitt would eat a baby on the Tonight Show while desecrating a frackin’ cracker and explaining some science, then maybe he’ll have a shot next year.

    This is such a silly poll, though. Maher isn’t an atheist; and although he’s occasionally funny and critical of religion, he’s a woo-soaked jackass. Epstein could probably benefit from a long, cold shower. I’ll be happy if those two remain in the low single-digits.

  17. Joe Fatzen says

    Yes, but lest you forget… Richard Dawkins is bangin’ Romana. ROMANA!

    Is Trophy Wife a Timelord? I think not!

  18. Caine says

    Voted for you, PZ. I cast one for Margaret Downey as well, ’cause I really liked the Tree of Knowledge.

  19. mattand08 says

    So has Bill Maher finally admitted he’s an atheist or is still fence sitting on this? This article at celebatheist.com (http://www.celebatheists.com/wiki/Bill_Maher) is claiming that he’s admitting it, but the quotes don’t match up to their claim.

    To me, it’s reading like his usual “I have no idea” shtick, rather than “The available evidence indicates there’s no God”, which is how I’ve always interpreted Richard Dawkins’ stance. I notice that Maher invokes Richard Dawkins when explaining his position. Not sure that Maher does or cares to understand the good Professor’s take.

  20. whitebird says

    PZ currently @ 69%…(huh-huh)

    Down from the 71% at comment #18, though. Only 26 comments here, though, so I’m predicting somewhere in the 90%’s by morning (PST).

  21. whitebird says

    Appy polly loggies for the too many “though”s..it’s a beery cheery Squidmazzle.

    Oh, and RE: Brad Pitt’s facial hair in the link? Vommish.

  22. percyprune says

    Sorry, I voted for Edwords for having the stones to square up against O’Reilly.

    If you do that PZ then you’d have my vote for sure.

  23. percyprune says

    I would’ve voted for Stephen Fry if he were on. Though is he an atheist?

    I can’t recall whether he’s said the words ‘I am an atheist’ but he’s made numerous statements pouring scorn on all religion and woo.

    Not many people can get away with the words ‘religion… shit it!’ on a popular TV panel show.

    He’s also probably our most popular gayer on TV. Bless.

  24. Rorschach says

    I voted for Pitt.It’s a little bit like the pope coming out to say he’s jewish.
    I even forgive him for the ridiculous role he played in Tarantino’s last (and worst) film.
    Sort of.

  25. percyprune says

    Yes, but lest you forget… Richard Dawkins is bangin’ Romana. ROMANA!

    Romana II to be precise. Joe has a point, though…

  26. tristan.croll says

    Testing… testing… is this thing on?

    Anyway, I voted. Looks like the poll is well and truly Pharyngulated.

  27. Kristjan Wager says

    I’d say that Brad Pitt is not the person to beat – it’s Bill Maher. Why the hell would anyone put him on a poll of atheists? Anti-religious != atheist, as Maher demonstrates.

  28. Miles670 says

    I voted Dawkins because i think he’s pushing the agenda quite well. I bought the greatest show on earth the first day it was out and next to a short history of nearly everything its probably my favourite book. I kinda knew it wouldn’t do any good though, once PZ posts a poll on here no-ones else has got a chance! Not that i think any of the other nominees will mind :D

  29. romyboo says

    I just realized that I have a trump card … I’ve still got a more attractive wife than he does

    That’s prudently safeguarding much more than mere ego, innit?

  30. Aquaria says

    PZ edges out Dawkins for rattling more cages. Although I have the serious hots for RD, which is very weird because I don’t usually go for older men (anymore). It’s not the accent. Guess it’s the brain, the dry wit, and… I dunno. There’s something permanently childlike about him.

    Ten years ago, Brad Pitt might have gotten the vote, but he can’t compete with intellect, graceful aging, and better taste in beards. Vote to PZ.

    I can’t begin to express how much Brad Pitt’s advancing years have disappointed me. Once upon a time, he was one of my top five choices for permanent poolside slave boy with the hot face and bod, and all that gorgeous hair (he’s tall, too! Mmm!). But nothing lasts forever. Sigh.

    Then again, so what? Other fish in the sea and all that. My current idea of stud monkey has moved far to the east, and gotten younger, A lot younger (do I need to link to the picture again? My son has a permanent fear that he will be older than my next husband. All I can say is: I hope so! :::perv snicker:::

  31. toomanytribbles says

    sorry, pz, i voted for dawk… but i know what Trophy Wife™ knows — pitt pales in comparison to true sexiness.

    plus maher’s name has no business being there.

  32. vanharris says

    Much as I like RD,
    I had to vote for PZ,
    for with woo and religion,
    ’twas an easy decision,
    as to who’s best at taking the pee.

  33. Rorschach says

    My son has a permanent fear that he will be older than my next husband. All I can say is: I hope so! :::perv snicker:::

    I feel slightly better now…:-)
    TMI I guess lol !

  34. The Tim Channel says

    Surprised as to the absence of Hitchens on that poll… I mean, Bill Maher, Greg Epstein, Brad pit etc got on it, but not Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris or Daniel Dennett?

    I wondered about that too. Voted PZ because he asked me first, but Dawkins is definitely worthy.
    Enjoy.

  35. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Maher isn’t an atheist and Epstein is a godless religionist. I’m glad they’re both well down in the voting since neither belongs in the list of candidates.

  36. creating trons says

    Voted for PZ.

    I got RD’s new book when it hit the shelves at B&N. great read. Wednesday I got my xmas package from mom and in it was RD’s new book! I called her to say thanx and stuff. told her how I was meaning to get this book. I couldn’t tell her I had already finished it. After I hung up the phone (well its a cell, so it doesn’t hang on anything) I decided what the hell, I’ll read it again. I wish I had some one to give it to.

  37. Miles670 says

    @#48

    Surely you can think of someone?! You’d be doing a good deed giving that to a young guy/girl that hasn’t put much thought into the validity of religious claims. Make them think :D

  38. https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnScD7LWA0CRBZYptYkGrjILPVVRYDSGZU says

    Send it to Me.

    20/125 Ferguson Street
    Palmerston North
    New Zealand

    Oh, and I voted PZ but RD would have been up there.
    He is in with the Time Lords and all…ESPness

  39. ChrisH says

    Hm, voted RD mainly because I’m English! Oh, and his new book is really rather good (I didn’t like TGD as much as maybe I could).

  40. rjwoodhead says

    “Even if he beats me on this poll, I’ve still got a more attractive wife than he does”

    This is what my wife would call a “nice save”

  41. dangeroustalk says

    I hope people will voe for some of the other atheists on the list too. Fred Edwords for example has worked hard behind the scenes as the director of UnitedCoR which is in large part responsible for all the billboards around the nation.

  42. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    Saw Inglorious Basterds last night. No worries though. I am far too lazy to vote on interwebs polls.

    *FTR, Inglorious Basterds was a delightful romp. Better than Cats. I want to see it again and again.

  43. gtpooh says

    PZ got my vote, but only because Penn Jillette wasn’t on the list. :D Just kidding, way to rock a survey.

  44. BlueMonday says

    I voted for PZ first, because Pharyngula is my internet oasis in the desert of the Deep South.

    However, I went back and voted again for Fred Edwords. I appreciate the efforts of the CoR immensely, and I believe he handled himself very well on O’Reilly. He hasn’t gotten the same press as some others, but everyone (on here at the very least) is aware of the billboards/bus ads, and those have had a massive impact on many of the communities in which they have been placed. Cheers to Fred Edwords!

    P.S. O’Reilly is such a little shit. I only watched the clip because of my love for CoR.

  45. blf says

    Well, I guess it makes sense Pee Zed would want to “beat” Brad Pitt at something. Brad Pitt is a house-painter turned boxer who won a gold medal at the 2006 Commonwealth Games. I assume Mr Brad “Hollywood” Pitt would easily beat Little Poopyhead Pee Zed into something resembling calamari rings in Mr Pitt’s occupation, so Pee Zed calls out his minions to beat Mr Pitt in a rather safer arena…

    But I don’t see why Ped Zed is bothering. Mr Pitt is Australian and so has lost right there.

  46. shonny says

    Who else than PZ who is really leading his troops to spread mental sanity in the empire of the godfuckers?

    With PZ to new heights next year, – towards an irreligious US of effing A!
    *no prayers please, action only*

  47. a.human.ape says

    I voted for the guy who actually got a book published this year (The Greatest Show on Earth). In 2010 hopefully PZ will publish his book so I can vote for him.

  48. Peter G. says

    I see no harm in this other than a remote possibility that someone’s ego may suffer from a slight degree of hyperinflation. Fortunately that someone seems to have a wife and wives, we all know, are extremely adept at attending to that type of inflation. I know mine nurses me back to proper proportion whenever required.

  49. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    The Brad Pitt I was comparing to Pee Zed is an Australian boxer.

    So this Brad Pitt isn’t actually important.

  50. Carlie says

    I voted for the guy who actually got a book published this year (The Greatest Show on Earth). In 2010 hopefully PZ will publish his book so I can vote for him.

    Quite a backhand you have there. I daresay the number of individual readers here is at least equivalent to the number of people who have read Dawkins’ book; in any case, I really doubt that the two of them would ever even think of getting in a pissing contest over their respective spheres of influence.

  51. katsushirohirata says

    Looks to me like PZ’s sphere is just a bit bigger. At the moment he’s ahead with 68%:

    Richard Dawkins: 19%
    Bill Mahar: 1%
    PZ Myers: 68%
    Greg Epstein: 0%
    Margaret Downey: 1%
    Fred Edwords: 0%
    Brad Pitt: 7%

  52. daveau says

    Even if he beats me on this poll, I’ve still got a more attractive wife than he does.

    If you had been to a proper husband school, as I have, that would not have been a postscript.

  53. David Marjanović says

    Richard Dawkins 20%
    Bill Maher 1%
    PZ Myers 68%
    Greg Epstein 0%
    Margaret Downey 1%
    Fred Edwords 0%
    Brad Pitt 7%
    Created on Dec 25, 2009
    Total Votes: 5,392

    Note the rounding errors by comparison to comment 71.

    PZs poll raping wins again :)

    “Raping”?!?

    She asked for it.

    (Erm, “she” is die Umfrage, the grammatically feminine poll.)

  54. a.human.ape says

    Did anyone notice the first sentence of the article PZ linked to:

    Atheism is the fastest growing religious preference in America and is on the rise in every state.

    It’s correct to say the number of atheists is increasing faster than the number of idiots who believe in a magic fairy, but since when did the complete rejection of religious bullshit become a religious preference?

  55. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    Reading comprehension fail. The Brad Pitt I was comparing to Pee Zed is an Australian boxer.

    Oh. How could I have been so stupid? It must be frustrating to be so hilarious (I mean, ha ha! I get it now. There are, like TWO Brad Pitts) and so misunderstood.

    Let me guess. You make a living writing official documents for credit card, mortgage, and insurance companies?