Speaking of paradise…

It’s not just Oklahoma — New Zealand apparently has no sick people. They have a brand new faith-healing clinic that fixes everything right up!

Rea said patients with problems as diverse as stroke paralysis, cancer or dyslexia were cured, usually within one 20-minute session.

Wow. Complete cures, in just 20 painless minutes. Doctors’ offices must be closing all over the place, and the hospitals must be empty.

Sorry, Tulsa, I was going to pack up my bags and move to your shining flawless city, but I think now I’m going to have to move to Christchurch. They’ve probably got more squid.