Now, for the low, low price of $12.79, you can reserve a spot in heaven for yourself. This is a real business selling tickets, certificates and ID cards that claims to give you a direct line to an afterlife in paradise, with a money-back guarantee. You might think it’s just a gag…but it’s the same thing as Catholic indulgences, so it’s a gag with a little bite.

Oh, and if you don’t like the prospect of eternity in heaven, you can also reserve a spot in hell. That one probably has a stronger seal of theological approval.