The woo, it burns!

Does only Orac get to give you a Friday dose of woo? Because I have to show you this amazing and all-too-common bit of criminal quackery.

God’s Answer To Cancer:


Just kill it by using this health machine to flood your cells with “Chi” Energy!

You should read the long, rambling testimonial on that web page — it says absolutely nothing about how this gadget is supposed to “zap disease germs”, but it does go through a laundry list of quack therapies, and heaps scorn on other quacks who sell gadgets that cure cancer.

I’m rather dazzled by the quantity of nonsense all on display there: it’s got the New Age + Traditional Chinese Medicine combo of “chi”, it’s tying it all in to God magic, and of course, it’s got the high-tech pseudoscientific dependence on a box with bits of a Radio Shack voltmeter.


  1. Whatevermachine says

    ‘Chi’? Is that the same as ‘qi’, like ‘essence’? Seems like Western people can be very gullible to anything that SOUNDS like it contains a bit of that Eastern wisdom, be it religion or medical quackery, or a combo of both.

  2. Whatevermachine says

    #1 – do you mean that whole weird stress-o-meter type thing? I couldn’t believe it when I saw that on the BBC thing about scientology. Talk about bad science…

  3. RockProf says

    I built a variable voltage power supply that looked like that once. Never thought to zap myself with it though.

  4. JackC says

    Yeah – I thought “E-Meter” too when I first saw this. I would love to see the insides. I am reminded of some other similar device that had some interesting “claims” I no longer remember – when dismantled, it contained the functional components of a switch, battery and light. The switch turned on the light. That was ALL that it did.

    Consumerism is just amazing when combined with the desire to both dis established science, and trust it to do woo magix. I am endlessly entertained.

    Unfortunately, I am also too stupid to dream this crap up myself. I will never be rich.


  5. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    The answers are “there is one born every minute” and “a fool and his money are soon parted”. Now, what was the questions again?
    Time for coffee.

  6. Guy G says

    Bunch of bloody cynics. Not only can you cure cancer with it, but you can also get it completely free (so long as you also choose to donate $300 tax free to their church)!


  7. JackC says

    Whatevermachine@4: Unfortunately – the E-Meter ITSELF (aside from any claims of what it accomplishes) IS “good science” – being a Wheatstone-bridge meter. It is really quite sensitive to minute resistance changes and DOES detect those changes in the resistance path between the hands.

    That part of the device, I think, is not in question.

    Everything after that though…. suspect. At best.

    And – full disclosure, I have had one in my hands, receiving end, way long ago in my young and impressionable days.


  8. JackC says

    NoR: Have I been saying it wrong all these years?? I thought it was “A fool and his money are some party.”

    ;-) – obligatory winkie thing.


  9. Zar says

    As others have mentioned, it sounds exactly like a Scientology E-Meter. The main difference is that this guy charges sixty bucks for it, while Scientology charges thousands of dollars.

    Fun fact: every E-Meter is required by law to have a little plaque on it that reads, “This device doesn’t actually do anything medical or psychological”. But Scientology doesn’t seem to care about the law too much.

    (To be fair, the E-Meter does something: it measures how damp your hands are.)

  10. Amph says

    “My Energy Machine can kill any parasite, cure almost any disease, cancer, or infection, and is ….

    Somehow, that word ‘almost’ seems like a dissonant in this text. It reeks of rationality (if you have a good nose). I predict that a next version it will be deleted.

    Maybe I give it a try though, it is not expensive for a device that zaps my disease germs.

  11. MPG says

    There’s a comprehensive exploration of the internals of Xenutology’s e-meters here. They are, as JackC points out, basically a Wheatstone bridge, used to detect changes in skin resistance, but there are additional components in there to allow for remote monitoring and recording of sessions.

  12. AnthonyK says

    God’s answer to so many who have cancer? Die you fucker! And what’s Frank Zappa got to do with it?

  13. KristinMH says

    Preaching the Original Orthodox Catholic Christian Gospel.

    Funny, I don’t remember the catechism saying much about God wanting us to zap our disease germs with home made electric devices. But then I never paid much attention in religion class.

  14. Dahan says

    I wonder if I could get a discount on this machine if I told him I already had the voltometer. Mine’s yellow though. That’d probably mess up the Chi or something, I’m sure.

  15. says

    #1 beat me to it. This definitely resembles the E-meter that I saw back in my college days. When I recognized what it was, I told the e-meter operator that I could move the needle anywhere I wanted to, and then proceeded to do just that. He was amazed. I was amused. It was the first time I had ever heard of Scientology, but I had instantly figured out that it was 100% bogus.

    Similar to Christianity. Only even more ridiculous, and somewhat more dangerous.

    Scientology is not the most dangerous superstition on the planet, however. That title belongs to Islam.

  16. Hypatia's Girl says

    This sounds a lot, actually, like “Dr.” Hulda Clark’s zapper. Only for Clark all diseases are caused by a fluke. And you should remove all of your fillings.

    I worked at an alternative doctor’s office for a year and a half, and found the concerted skeptical movement the day the doctor asked me to research Clark’s zapper and then recommend it to a patient’s family.

    These people are some of the worst people in the world.

  17. says

    I wonder if I could get a discount on this machine if I told him I already had the voltometer.

    Seems fair… And it boggles my mind to think: I’ve one or two multitesters good for various ranges and functions ’round here, too…

    So it seems to me if the advertised gizmo does all it says, mine should do all that and more–cure cancer, bring about world peace, get yer whites whiter, yer brights brighter, make your latest play a hit on Broadway, reunite David Lee Roth and Van Halen, resuscitate Whoopi Goldberg’s career…

    Call now, and I’ll throw in a handy neon ‘live AC/do not touch, stupid’ tester fer free… which may also cure bad breath (offer not valid where prohibited by law; the claims in this informercial may or may not have been randomly generated; Visa/MC/Amex/bank account numbers only, please…)

  18. says

    Beh, puny mortals. I’ve conducted enough electricity to power light bulbs just by waving my hand near them and inducting a current.

    Something like this, you may as well get a real multimeter since it’s both cheaper and useful for electrical projects. If you wanna pretend it cures diseases it works just as well for that.

  19. Ompompanoosuc says

    If I were a morally bankrupt atheist scumbag, I could make millions manufacturing sciency electronical junk like this and selling it to imbeciles.

    Wait a minute….I AM an MBAS!

    Any venture capitalists and marketing gurus in the house?

    Ima get me a boat, build a tower, gold plate my scrotum….

  20. SASnSA says

    For some clarification, chi is basically the Korean version of qi or ki from China and Japan.

  21. David Marjanović, OM says

    Scientology will sue their asses. And then it’ll sue the rest of them.

  22. JackC says

    Ha! AJ Milne reminded me of an old comedy commercial – in the days before YouTube – for laundry detergent.

    Guy tosses a white (shirt, towel, something, I don’t recall) in the washer, adds a ridiculous amount of detergent, then pulls out something entirely different and says “Not ONLY is it CLEANER! It got BIGGER and changend colours TOO!!!!”

    And yeah – you could hear the caps and exclamation points, of course.



  23. Marvol says

    Looks to me that wherever the stupid is in this story, it’s not the person who wrote the text on that website. Because it actually looks like a combination of VERY clever with VERY cynical. Pressing all the right buttons etc.

    The stupid are the people who fall for it. There’s always gonna be a few. I reckon the break-even point for this venture (setting up website plus putting cheap electrical things together) will lie around two machines sold.

  24. says

    Any venture capitalists and marketing gurus in the house?… Ima get me a boat, build a tower, gold plate my scrotum….

    I’m in. I feel compelled. I find your goals so lofty, so wholly admirable…

    Indeed, these are dreams which themselves inspire dreams.

    (But make sure to spring for the laser hair removal before the gold-plating. Ingrown hairs under scrotum plating equals bad… Just something I’ve heard.)

  25. Bart Mitchell says

    I would like to offer a challenge to go with the weekly woo. I want to see some creative people take these worthless boxes, and make them into something useful.

  26. SiMPel MYnd says

    Speaking of Orac… maybe we should take up a collection, buy a bunch, and send them to Jenny McCarthy & friends. I’m sure it’s got to work better than vaccinations on germs and maybe even burn out some autism demons.

  27. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    JackC #10, it was a good thing I hadn’t taken a sip of coffee I was holding before I read your take on the old bromide. The monitor would have gotten a bath. LOL.

  28. says

    Hmm. It’s got a voltmeter and a milliameter in it. Looks vaguely like what I wanted to build for my solar power system (I ended up using a pair of meters liberated from an broken stereo cassette deck. Recycled components are good), only probably a bit less useful. My thingy tells me how much charge I’m putting into my batteries. (If I was into selling the woo, I’d call it “dissolving energy from pure sunlight in sulphuric acid” or something, but I’m too honest for that.)

    And that power pack looks like suspiciously a standard “universal” AC adaptor that’s been retrofitted with a 6.3 plug (though, it was at least a “high grade” one; the sort you’d use for a high-impedance low-level audio signal around mains wiring, if you were keen to prevent hum and noise pick-up). The cheap-and-cheerful version has only one meter, and the DC input plug is a plastic-bodied item.

    At any rate there can’t be more than a few pounds of bits in there. Someone’s making a fortune flogging these things! If alternative medicine really worked, they’d be calling it medicine …..

  29. Knockgoats says

    Scientology is not the most dangerous superstition on the planet, however. That title belongs to Islam. TX CHL Instructor

    Nah. Neither of them is a patch on conservatism.

  30. Prof MTH says

    This appears to be the same machine Scientologists use to measure your “stress” and then try to sale you their book on removing the parasitic “thetins” (succubae-like ghosts) from your soul.

  31. says


    Heh, the scilons pay thousands of pounds for an E-Meter, I could (and probably should) build something much more impressive looking to do the same job with modern parts that’d be the size of a cig packet and able to log the fools that go to be audited to SD etc. for perhaps £30 of components (lcd/backlight, PIC, box, few semiconductors required)

    Perhaps I’m in the wrong business -.o;

  32. davem says

    I really don’t believe that that thing will cure cancer. The one I’ve just invented, on the other hand, is cast iron guaranteed to. Mine is mains powered, and all the fancy electronics inside are just there to hide the direct connection of the mains cable to the handles. My machine not only kills every diseased cell in the body, it improves the average IQ of the planet.

  33. withheld says

    For maximum benefit, davem’s machine should be applied directly to the patient’s temples.

  34. says

    The one I’ve just invented, on the other hand, is cast iron guaranteed to. Mine is mains powered, and all the fancy electronics inside are just there to hide the direct connection of the mains cable to the handles. My machine not only kills every diseased cell in the body, it improves the average IQ of the planet..

    At first glance, I thought I saw an issue, here. That is: just connecting directly to the mains gets you only 110 or 220 VAC, depending on the local grid–and this isn’t normally enough to induce that whole muscle tetanus/can’t let go thing… So you might need to refine this with a step up transformer and a big-ass capacitor…

    But then it occured to me there’s a more cost-effective solution, and one that probably also improves the device’s population IQ refining function:

    Just add a note to the manual: ‘Some discomfort will occur during use. It is very important to hold on if you are to be cured…’

  35. Jakeschmitz says

    How are the shiny cylindrical parts used?

    Oh, that’s right – he cured his colon cancer with it.

  36. Ompompanoosuc says

    If Davem adds the transformer suggested by AJ and a little bit of conductive grease to the handles, I’m sure his miracle invention will work. You only need 200mA in the right spot.

    As the demon within you is forced out, you will feel a burning sensation. This is normal.

  37. Nurse Ingrid says

    I love that these people are Catholics.

    The same Catholics who claim that birth control devices are evil because they interfere with your body’s natural processes.

    I mean, if you have cancer, just like if you have an unintended pregnancy, isn’t that their “God’s will”? Who are they to interfere?

  38. LtStorm says

    The least believable part of this post is the suggestion you can still get a voltmeter at your neighborhood Radio Shack.

  39. withheld says

    LtStorm: Ok, so it was almost 20 years ago. My wife liked to go in and ask Guy-behind-the-checkout where the 30 gauge wire and wire wrap tools were, just to watch the blank stares.

    Good times…

    Also, there was an Onion story about a year ago announcing a new CEO for Radio Shack, whose comments were along the lines of “Really, they’re still in business?”

  40. Sven DiMilo says

    No, no. An E-Meter is a measuring device. This is different: it floods the body with chi; it’s a delivery or input device.
    The really astonishing thing here is that chi turns out to be electromagnetic. Surprising, then, that nobody with access to the online Radio Shack catalog has ever managed to detect it.

  41. says

    I’m pretty sure this very gadget, or something a lot like this, is what is being used at an allergy clinic in my area. I was in a networking group with this clinic and had a huge argument with them about the proof behind their therapies, which included applied kinesiology (quack).

    As they were initially explaining, the male owner of the business kept saying, “it’s backed by science.” When I asked him for a copy of the literature, he couldn’t provide it. Makes me sad

  42. Ericka says

    My grandpa used a fancier version of this bullshit before his cancer took him. My grandma actually said after he passed away that if he’d used it for longer periods, it would have had better results. I wanted to yell at her…but…she’s my grandma. Whatchya gonna do?

  43. Graculus says

    I am reminded of some other similar device that had some interesting “claims” I no longer remember – when dismantled, it contained the functional components of a switch, battery and light. The switch turned on the light. That was ALL that it did.

    I built one of those, except the light blinked, and the knob for changing the frequency of blinky was one the bottom, so you could change it sureptitiously.

    We labelled it “Dweeb Detector” and took it to SF cons…..

    But as for the insides, I think the best is the entry on the most excellent “Skeptic’s Dictionary”, where the lab that disassembled the Quadro Tracker described the contents as “epoxied scrambled dead ants”

  44. Marc Abian says

    Scientology is not the most dangerous superstition on the planet, however. That title belongs to Islam.

    By sheer force of numbers the other religions are worse than Scientology, but based on teachings and practices I think Scientology is the worst of the lot. Things like the scientology prison camps (RPF) don’t have any counterpart in Islam.

    Is it too parochial or jingonistic to suggest that Scientology’s worse than Islam because while they are both share bad traits (Operation Freakout and Fair Game are probably equivalent to Fatwas) but Scientology is located in the fairly decent parts of the world, while Islam is common in poor/unjust societies?

  45. Sastra says

    Many if not most “energy healers” try to distance themselves from machines like this, because they’re too easy to debunk. Anyone can use them, even when there are no True Believers present.

    No, instead, they claim that chi can only be felt and manipulated by sensitive, open-minded, and caring human practitioners. It’s crucial that these healers feel comfortable, and not like they’re being “attacked” by negative skeptical energy. Do it that way, and it’s all “backed by science.” They get the results they are hoping for.

    Even so, science ironically has yet to catch up to the amazing skills and abilities which radiate out from the sensitive, open-minded, and caring. You can’t measure the energy, or even detect it, with objective and cold things like machines. Skeptical scientists (and little girls) who try to set up controlled studies which look to see if the Life Force can even be detected at all are sadly lacking in several important and absolutely vital characteristics.

    Sensitivity. Open-mindedness. And caring.

    Science is just chock full of right bastards.

  46. Marc Abian says

    Many if not most “energy healers” try to distance themselves from machines like this, because they’re too easy to debunk

    I would argue that they don’t care how easy something is to debunk at all. It’s more that something a cold as a machine could never perceive the subtle energy fields and butchered physcis terms that a skilled nutcase could. In fact, I think just the fact that there’s a machine is too sciency for them.

  47. Stwriley says

    My particular favorite from the good Monsignor’s website is that last little personal blurb down at the very bottom of the page. Since many of you doubtless couldn’t stomach that much woo and never got there, I’ll reproduce it here:

    Msgr. Dr. Howard E. May Jr
    Preaching the Original Orthodox Catholic Christian Gospel.

    So what we have here is no garden variety catholic priest, but another adherent of a conservative Catholic splinter sect. I just love the “Original Orthodox” part too, like being just Orthodox isn’t enough. He can’t even seem to keep the hyperbole out of his religion, much less his quackery.
    Oh, and a quick note to JackC at #6:
    You’re not too dumb to make money this way, you’re just too ethical. If you were a true-believing Original Orthodox Catholic, you wouldn’t have these little ethical dilemmas that keep you from bilking desperate people out of their money by selling them false hope and a Wheatstone-bridge meter.

  48. says

    It’s a portable Flux Capacitor. All you need is some Plutonium, and the ability to get you chi up to 88 miles per hour. Zap!!! No more diseases. Then all you have to worry about is your chi running too fast, and the fact that you’ve been thoroughly irradiated.

  49. Yarcofin says

    Looks like a ripoff of a rife generator to me. (Not to be mistaken with the reife generator, the orgone crap.)

    Royal Raymond Rife was an American inventor who developed his own high-power microscope. He used it to observe that certain virii and pathogens could be rendered inert when a certain frequency (called their Mortal Oscillatory Rate) was applied to them (including cancer), which basically makes the bad cells explode while leaving the human cells intact.

    Call it quackery. I’ve researched it enough that if I’m ever diagnosed with cancer, it will be one of the first things I go to.

  50. LtStorm says

    This does randomly remind me of when I TA’d an organic chemistry lab last semester. One of my students came up to me during tutorial hours and started explaining to me this wonderful invention her dad had invested in that greatly increased the fuel economy of any car. All it took was snapping the device onto your fuel line and your air intake line.

    What is this magical device? Two refrigerator magnets. Not even like, nice, neodynium magnets, but simple iron magnets.

    And she’s trying to sell how this thing really works, it’s proven! to chemists. I pointed out to her that none of the primary constituents of gasoline are even paramagnetic, and thus wouldn’t be affected by a magnetic field, especially not one that weak….

    I do applaud her for knowing oxygen is paramagnetic, but of course in gaseous state it’s far too volatile to react to even a strong magnetic field meaningfully.

    The woo is here; Magnetizer Super Fuel Saver. I feel sorry for her and her family if her father has invested as heavily in this junk as she claimed.

  51. jdhuey says

    40 years ago, when I was in Jr. High School, I was taking a Health Class and we were alway watching these public health warning type films from the government. These films were antiquated even back then: I think that they were part of the war effort (WWII not the Korean). At any rate, I remember seeing a segment where they were warning about quackery and a device very similar to this one was debunked as a cure for cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if some variation of this device had been concocted right after Volta invented the battery.

  52. Sven DiMilo says

    A certain frequency of what?
    Why would cancer cells have a different MOR from healthy cells?
    I call it quackery.
    Also, “virii” is not a word.

  53. says

    As an expert in traditional Chinese medicine, as a clinician who has seen thousands of patients, and as someone who has been invited back into Chinese hospitals to lecture, I find this sort of sales gimmick unfortunate.

    Qi is the word for biological life force. Chi is a different character in the written Chinese language and means more like “harmony.”

  54. Yarcofin says

    I’m no biologist or chemist (obviously). But the theory behind it is that everything has a resonant frequency. Just like if you get a high enough pitch it will shatter a glass, or how one tuning fork will affect another. When you apply a certain frequency to the virus/bacteria cells, they essentially shatter too. Each type of cell has it’s own unique MOR, if you order a commercial rife generator you get a list of like 10,000 programmable tuning options for common diseases. Why does each type of cell have a different resonance? I don’t know the answer. I imagine the obvious reason would be that they all have different composition, just like different chemical elements have different boiling points. I can’t tell you why water boils at a differet temperature than mercury, I haven’t tested it myself, but I’ve heard it does. Lame response I know, but that’s the best I’ve got.

  55. LtStorm says

    @#68: You just described the gist of radiation therapy.

    Actual work in this field has been finding marker compounds, essentially metal atoms encased in antigens that’ll bind to the cancer cells and nothing else, that’ll allow weaker radiation to kill the marked cells without harming adjacent healthy cells.

  56. says

    The resonant frequencies that Yarcofin speaks of, if interpreted kindly, would be chemical bonds. The biggest problem would be that nothing would have such a unique resonant frequency that you’d only break those chemical bonds. Plus, all those molecules are moving around in brownian motion and what not, modulating the effective frequencies, so there really isn’t “a” resonant frequency.

  57. Sven DiMilo says

    the gist of radiation therapy

    Really? I’d be surprised if that were true. Resonant frequencies?
    My impression was that radiation therapy disrupted cell division (somehow…and I’m too lazy to look it up), and so rapidly-dividing cancer cells were more susceptible (with normally rapidly dividing cells as in hair follicles, intestinal epithelia, and blood stem cells also affected, hence the side-effects).
    But this is easily resolved by reference.

  58. CSn says

    Given the obsession of the credulous with the improper use of bodily orifices, I’m not sure I want to know where the instruction manual says those electrified metal cylinders go…

  59. LtStorm says


    Well, actually, I’m a bit wrong. Radiotherapy works indirectly; it doesn’t use enough radiation to actually destroy any chemical bonds, but instead targets the fact DNA is susceptible to damage by free radicals. So instead wavelengths of light are used to generate those free radicals, which in turn damage the DNA. The DNA of the cancer cells is already unable to repair itself properly, part of why it’s cancerous, so this disrupts the out of control cell division that makes cancer what it is.

    But yeah, the reason they target the cancer cell’s DNA is because there’s no way to tune it to the resonance frequencies of the chemical bonds in cancer cells. The cancer cells are made up of the same chemical bonds as healthy cells, ultimately. So you may be able to zap the carbon-hydroxyl bond and break it, but…you’re going to do that to every carbon-hydroxyl bond in every cell, cancerous or not, in the area. There’s no way to tell the difference on that chemical level.

  60. Charles Soto says

    I got one of these. You do NOT want to know where the cylindrical probes are supposed to go.

  61. says

    @ #66:

    Qi is the word for biological life force. Chi is a different character in the written Chinese language and means more like “harmony.”

    Also translates roughly as ‘breath’. I’m a long time practitioner of Tai Chi, a pretty strong proponent of qiqong, but I think most of the other items (acupuncture, reiki) are fraudulent. Some of the Eastern modalities actually DO work, but the bilge of mysticism seems to pollute the workings of most of them.

  62. Doctorb says

    Hasn’t it been demonstrated scientifically that chi is produced by midichlorians?

  63. Crudely Wrott says

    In a previous life job I used a Wheatstone bridge to locate faults in lengths of cable. Because the instrument is very sensitive a short in a 15,000 foot length could be located to within a yard or so.

    I imagine that it is that sensitivity as well as the possibility of adding “special features” inside the case, allowing for such a broad range of indication/deflection of the needle, that any story, any excuse could be given gravity by simple demonstration and appeal to “new discoveries melded with ancient insight.”

    It’s dishonest, and the equipment is cheap. They could have at least sprung for a couple LEDs and a speaker for audio cues. I would have.

  64. machintelligence says

    For a wonderfully funny commercial, check out Ed Current’s prayerMAX 5000 TM on Youtube. Be sure to stick around for the small print disclaimers at the end — they are priceless.

  65. Ktesibios says

    I would love to get my hands on one of these things. I would disassemble it, photograph the innards, trace and diagram any circuitry that happened to be in it, measure any signals appearing at the output terminals and publish all the findings.

    Unfortunately, my entertainment budget won’t support a $300 expense for something that would almost certainly be good for only a couple of hours of lulz.

    Pity that there isn’t a fund that purchases quack medical devices and gives them to people who actually know what they’re looking at, electronics-wise.

  66. drtomaso says

    Funny “chi” story: my 9th grade global studies class had to publicly apologize to the “Chinese” acupuncturists who came to give a presentation at our class. I put quotes around “Chinese” because while we were supposed to be opening our young minds to culture of China, these people were whiter than me. About 10 minutes in a friend loudly remarked that “chi” must be the Chinese word for “bullsh*t”, and there was *much* laughter. I kid you not, these people were talking about “chi” channels that we all had under our skin or some such woo. ‘Cause no one has, you know, ever done a dissection and looked under the skin.

  67. says

    The cylindrical things are handles so you can pull the rest of the gimzo out when you’re done using it. There’s also a ramrod (not pictured) to help shove it in

  68. Merrydol says

    It seems like there’s an awful lot of conflation of “Chi” and electricity in the new age world-o-woo. When I was in massage school, one of the more ridiculous teachers told me I should take my piercings out because the metal is conductive and would mess with the flow of my chi. Heh.

  69. gp says

    The “Hulda Clark Zapper” is actually built upon the research of Dr. Bob Beck, who created a three part regiment referred to as the Beck Protocol. His initial work was based upon the research of Dr. Kaali and Dr. Lyman who discovered is 1990 that small electrical currents applied to blood would kill microbes in the blood stream as well as increase the porosity of cellular membranes (referred to as electroporation).

    Not to say that this particular device is anything of that nature, but there are a line of products based upon Dr. Beck’s open source designs that can be used effectively in the treatment of cancer and HIV; in addition, electroporation technology is a very cutting edge area of cancer research used to effectively administer cytotoxins with a fraction of the percentage required for a conventional dose, as well as regional delivery of cytotoxins as opposed to the napalm approach used with conventional chemotherapy and radiation.

    The research of Royal Rife are also interesting, to this day no one has been able to replicate his microscope research which was reportedly able to observe microscopic organisms such as cancer cells without killing them.

  70. Ktesibios says

    Regarding resonant frequencies-if we are talking about acoustic waves, the lowest resonant mode of any enclosed space will be the axial mode along the longest dimension. The frequency of this axial mode is given by:
    where v= velocity of sound in the medium filling the space, and d=longest linear dimension of the space.

    Using the velocity of sound in salt water (about 1500 m/s) and the dimensions of a tuberculosis bacterium (about 0.4 um x 3 um) we get
    f= 250*106 or 250 MHz.

    That’s for acoustic waves. There is no such thing as a transducer with significant acoustic output at 250 MHz.

    If we’re talking about electromagnetic waves in a resonant cavity the same relationship applies except that we use the velocity of light in the medium. For water c is approximately 2.25*108 and our lowest axial mode will be at 37.5 teraHertz. Even the most advanced radars don’t operate at such high frequencies.

    So, while a bacterium could be said to have resonant modes (as any text on sound engineering will make clear, any space has a host of axial, tangential and oblique modes), the notion that we can excite them with electronic doodlebugs has about the same plausibility as the notion that I am Marie of Romania.

    @ #84: generally speaking, when nobody is able to replicate an experimenter’s claims there are two possibilities to consider:

    1. The experimenter has not described the experimental methodology in adequate detail to permit replication even by skilled researchers, in which case EXPERIMENTER FAIL.

    2. The effect claimed does not in fact exist, in which case EPIC EXPERIMENTER FAIL.

  71. Knockgoats says

    gp@84 is peddling typical quackery. Google “Beck Protocol” and “Royal Rife”, and judge for yourselves. I’m no great admirer of Big Pharma, but it doesn’t seem to occur to conspiracy theorists of the “suppressed cure for cancer” type that even Big Pharma CEOs and their families get cancer. Until it is shown that senior Big Pharma people or their families have used the “cures” they are accused of suppressing, the accusations of suppression are piffle.

    The research of Royal Rife are also interesting, to this day no one has been able to replicate his microscope research

    That’s exactly why it’s not interesting. If he had been right, it should have been possible to replicate his work.

  72. gp says

    The research of Royal Rife is largely obscured in mystery, and very few folks have been able to replicate his results based upon that secrecy. The work of Dr. Bob Beck on the other hand is well documented and with measurable results.

    With that said, my wife was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma (3.5 cm tumor) last year with metastatic lymph node activity, the lay translation of which is terminal breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nodes.

    I interviewed and met with three separate cancer specialists including the head of oncology for a cancer research center in the top 10 worldwide; the answer to her cancer was an extensive regiment of cytotoxins followed by radiation, despite her heart tests which came back with less than 50% efficiency for her left ventricle.

    I personally challenged each of her oncologists to a simple question and answer session about the mortality rates associated with chemotherapy used in conjunction with radiation; they were only able to cite the statistics published by the American Cancer Society which are now deceptively reported within a 5 year window (if there is no reoccurance of cancer within 5 calendar years, the patient is cured of cancer; if there is a reocurrance after the 5 year window, they are reclassified as a new patient). Her oncologists had not one suggestion for a change in her diet, a change in aerobic activity, or any solution other than the administration of very expensive cytotoxins followed by a 30 day bout of nuclear medicine, to further suppress and completely annihilate her immune system to get the cancer out of her. Napalm for humans.

    The cancer research center (Moffitt Research here in Tampa) has a McDonald’s in the lobby. I had a Big and Tasty with a large Coke each day while she was in the hospital recovering from the bi-lateral mastectomy.

    We then opted to decline chemotherapy (you will be dead within a year) as well as decline radiation (seriously, you are really dead within a year now, take the chemo and radiation you crazy person with cancer) and instead began the Beck Protocol based on Dr. Robert Beck’s open source schematics (the “quackery” referenced in the previous two posts) which he published in 2002, originally as a way of bulking up the immune system of individuals diagnosed with HIV.

    For the ozone generation component we opted for a clinical grade ozone generator and oxygen concentrator purchased from Longevity Resources; cancer itself is an anaerobic function so increasing blood/oxygen saturation is a key component to fighting cancer of any type. Ozone is used primarily in Europe as a disinfectant and has only recently been adopted by U.S. hospitals to disinfect operating rooms, burn units etc.

    For the blood electrification equipment we went with a vendor that replicated the work of Dr. Bob Beck’s open source schematics and in accordance with the research of Dr. Kaali and Dr. Lyman’s report from 1990, which is now the core focus of electroporation equipment (that curiously also uses the same square wave advocated by Rife’s research) now approved by the FDA and in clinical trials with cancer research centers here in the U.S. The unit I bought for the blood electrification is non-FDA approved, built to spec as described by Kaali/Lyman/Beck.

    For the magnetic coil pulser I ordered a unit from Australia with measurable output according to the Beck Protocol, non FDA approved.

    For the silver component we went with 2 gallons of medical grade collodial silver from a supplier here in the U.S. with a lab certified 20 ppm content (Utopia Silver,

    We also used a daily dosage of 60 bitter apricot pits initially (now a 20 pit per day maintenance routine) due to high concentrations of Laetrille/B17 (illegal for resale in the U.S. per the good folks at the FDA).

    Her initial tumor markers were off the charts in all areas; after three months of treatment and her surgery, she scores 1 out of 40 for her tumor markers – and she refused chemotherapy or radiation.

    We use for bi-monthly blood tests that show her progress in terms of her cancer markers and the other empirical indicators of cancer (PHI enzyme levels, hCG levels, etc). We have to pay the $300 for this test out of pocket as insurance will not cover it; the blood tests from her oncologist (covered by insurance and 10X the costs) don’t even show the basic levels associated with cancer such as PHI and hCG.

    Simple, rational logic dictates that cellular toxins of any sort destroy the body’s ability to fight cancer, as does radiation.

    Simple, rational logic also dictates that nuclear medicine is proven to cause additional forms of cancer and debilitating diseases, all of which are considered by modern day oncology as “effective” means of combating metastatic cancer which is now at epidemic levels worldwide.

    Simple, rational logic says that the body’s immune system is the first line of defense against any form of life threatening illness, and bolstering – not destroying – the body’s immune system is the most effective way of combating cancer of any sort.

    Further, Big Pharma and their minions at the FDA would rather allow corporate profit motives to drive cancer research, while only treating the symptoms of cancer and never the root causes of what causes cancer in the first place.

    My $.02, have a nice day.

  73. Knockgoats says

    I’m sorry about your wife’s cancer. But you’re still a fruitcake.

  74. Sven DiMilo says

    Excuse a bit of autopedantry: @#71 above, I seem to have confused the mechanisms of chemo and radiation therapies. I blame beer.

  75. gp says

    “Fruitcake” without citations. If you are going to engage in a Lincoln-Douglas debate, bring some counter arguments with your hurled invective.

    Article on the Beck Protocol:

    Beck Tri-Pulser for blood electrification, built to spec from the Beck Protocol and manufactured in New Zealand:

    An alternate vendor:

    Klemen’s Pulser from Australia (electromagnetic, can hit 50 kilogauss unlike US-built gear like the Sota)

    We bought the Beck Tri-Pulser from New Zealand and the Klemen’s electromagnetic pulser from Australia; both can cause up to a one-minute window of electroporation so you have to be careful what other supplements or medicine you mix with it.

    Also, daily copious amounts of grape seed extract and Reservatol, GNC sells a grape seed extract+reservatol combo for $20/bottle.

    Have do the Cancer Profile and pay the extra $600 for a metabolic program. A tumor takes 10+ years to develop, Dr. Schandl can predict them years before they form with his lab work.

  76. says

    Have do the Cancer Profile and pay the extra $600 for a metabolic program. A tumor takes 10+ years to develop, Dr. Have do the Cancer Profile and pay the extra $600 for a metabolic program. A tumor takes 10+ years to develop, Dr. Schandl can predict them years before they form with his lab work. can predict them years before they form with his lab work.

    Do tell.

    Then perhaps Dr. Schandl has published his work. After all, if he really can predict tumors accurately years before they become clinically apparent, scientists would be very interested, as would many scientific journals be interested in publishing.

    So where are the peer-reviewed publications?

  77. gp says

    E.K. Schandl M.S. Ph.D, FACB, SC (ASCP), CC (NRCC), LNC., CLD.,
    B.A. Analytical Biology

    M.S. Biochemistry/ Enzymology

    Ph.D. Molecular Genetics

    FACB, Fellow, National Academy of Clinical Biochemists

    SC (ASCP) Specialist in Chemistry, American Society of Clinical Pathologist

    CC (NRCC) Clinical Chemist, National Registry in Clinical Chemistry

    LNC Licensed Nutrition Consultant, State of Florida

    CLD Clinical laboratory Director, State of Florida, New York, Dept. Health and Human Services.

    4th degree BB USA GoJu Karate

    Many Publications and Research Papers

    * A.A. Allan Hancock College, Santa Maria, CA, Physical and Biological Sciences.

    * B.A. University of California, Santa Barbara, CA, Analytical Biology.

    * M.S. San Diego State University, San Diego, CA, Enzymology, Biochemistry.
    o Thesis: Purification and Characterization of Thymine 7-Hydroxylase.

    * Ph.D. Florida State University, Tallahassee, FL, Molecular Genetics; Supervisor: J. Herbert Taylor.
    o Dissertation: Early Events in DNA Replication.

    * M.D. Faculty of Medical Studies, Medicina Alternativa Institute, The Open International University for Complimentary Medicine, Colombo.(An Honorary Degree.)

    * Teaching Assistant, Biochemistry, San Diego State University, San Diego, CA,
    * Research Assistant, Enzymology/Biochemistry, San Diego, CA,
    * Research Assistant, Molecular Biology, Institute of Molecular Biophysics, Tallahassee, FL,
    * Postdoctoral Research Associate, Universite Laval, Quebec, P.O., Canada,
    * Research Grants: National Research Council of Canada, American Cancer Society.

    * Fellow, National Academy of Clinical Biochemistry, (FACB).
    * Specialist in Chemistry, American Society of Clinical Pathologists, SC (ASCP).
    * Clinical Chemist, National Registry in Clinical Chemistry, CC (NRCC).
    * Licensed Nutritional Consultant, (LNC), State of Florida.
    * Board Eligible, American Board of Clinical Chemistry.


    * Adjunct Professional Staff Member with privileges in Clinical Biochemistry/Supportive and Therapeutic Nutrition, Department of Medicine, Community Hospital of South Broward, Hollywood, FL.
    * Adjunct Professional Staff Member with privileges in Clinical Biochemistry/Nutrition, Department of Medicine, Doctors Hospital of Hollywood, FL.
    * Clinical Laboratory Director, State of Florida, Department of Health and Human Services, Clinical Chemistry, Hematology, Serology, Immunohematology.
    * Clinical Laboratory Director, State of New York.
    * Clinical Laboratory Director, U.S.A. Department of Health and Human Services.
    * Technical Supervisor, DHHS, in Clinical Chemistry Radiobioassay, Endocrinology, Laboratory Director, Medicare.
    * Consultant in Biochemistry and Clinical Nutrition, State of Florida, County of Broward.
    * Consultant, United States Environmental Protection Agency, Toxicology Branch.
    * Member, United States Senatorial Cancer Advisory Committee.
    * Assistant Professor of Biochemistry, Nova University, Fort Lauderdale, FL.
    * Nuclear Medicine Technology (in vivo and in vitro), Community Hospital of South Broward, Hollywood, FL.
    * Chief of Clinical Chemistry and Assistant Laboratory Supervisor, Community Hospital of South Broward, Hollywood, FL.
    * Head, Radioimmunoassay and Nutritional Biochemistry Departments, American Biomedical Corporation, Miami, FL.
    * Head of all Chemistries and Radioimmunoassay, National Health Laboratories, Miami, FL.
    * Instructor, Biscayne Paramedical College, Miami, FL.
    * Instructor, Rainbow Montessori School (karate/gymnastics).
    * Director, Center for Metabolic Disorders, (not for profit), a private research foundation.
    * Director, CA Laboratory, Dania, FL, later Hollywood, FL.
    * Director, American Medical Testing Laboratories, Hollywood, FL., presently
    * Direcor, Metabolic Research, Inc., (not for profit research organization), Hollywood, FL., presently

    Professional Societies:

    o Sigma Xi (the Scientific Research Society of North America), inactive
    o American Association for Clinical Chemistry, active member
    o American Association for the Advancement of Science, inactive

    * Private Pilot License, Certified Scuba Diver. USA GoJu Karate 4th Degree Black Belt (Teaching and practicing).


    Abbott, M.T., Schandl, E.K., R.P., Parker, T.S. and Midgett, R.J., COFACTOR REQUIREMENETS OF THYMINE 7-HYDROYLASE, 1987, Biochem. Biophys. Acta, 132-525

    Abbott, M.T., Lin, S., Schandl, E.K. Lee, R.P., Parker T.S. and Midgett, R.J., THE REQUIRMENTS FOR ASCORBATE, Fe and alpha – KETOGLUTARATE BY THYMINE 7-HYDROXYLASE, 1967, Federation Proc., 26, 451.

    Taylor, J. Herbert, Straubing, Nancy, and Schandl, E.K., UNITS AND PATTERNS OF REPLICATION IN MAMMALIAN CHROMOSOMES, 1988, J. Cell Bio., 39, 1349

    Schandl, E.K., and Taylor, J. Herbert, EARLY EVENTS IN REPLICATION AND INTEGRATION OF DNA INTO MAMMALIAN CHROMOSOMES, 1989. Biochem. Biophys. Res. Communs., 34, 291.

    Schandl, E.K., and Taylor, J. Herbert, AN OLIGOMER INTERMEDIATE (PRIMER) IN DNA REPLICATION, 1969, Biophys. J. 10. 22(1).

    Schandl, E.K., and Taylor, J. Herbert, OLIGODEOXYRIBONUCLEOTIDES FROM PULSE-LABLED MAMMALIAN CELLS, 1971. Biochim. Biophys. Acta, 228, 595.

    Schandl, E.K., OLIGODEOXYRIBONUCLEOTIDES FROM PULSE-LABLED BACTERIAL CELLS, 1972, . Biochim. Biophys. Acta, 262, 420.


    Schandl, E.K. THYMINE 7-HYDROXYLASE ACTIVITY IN NORMAL AND LEUKEMIC LEUKOCYTES, 1973. Biochem. Biophys. Res. Communs., 52, 524.


    Mitchell, D.A. and Schandl, E.K. CARBON MONOXIDE, VITAMIN B6 & MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS; A THEORY OF INTERRELATIONSHIP, 1973. Am. J. Clin. Nutr., 26, 890

    Schandl, E.K. HYPERACTIVE CHILDREN, 1973. British Med. J., May 12.


    Ph.D. Dissertation: EARLY EVENTS IN DNA REPLICATION, 1970.


    Schandl, M.M., and Schandl, E.K., CEA Testing: Abbott or Roche, 1982, Clinical Chemistry, 28, 1584.

    Von E.K. Schandl, KLINISH BIOCHEMISCHE PARAMETER BEI KREBS, 1982. In Die Praxis der Zelltherapie, p. 98, Medizinish Literarische Verlagesellschaft mbh-Uelzen Erkrankungen.

    Von Schandl, in Onkologischer Dialog, Sonntag, 16 Juni 1991. Ed. Dr. Hasso H. Thalmann, Prof. Angelos N. Sagredos, Bei Onkologisgischcn.

    Schandl, C.A. and Schandl, E.K., DHEA-S Serum Level: CORRELATION TO MALIGNANCIES IN TISSUES OF ECTODERMAL, ENDODERMAL, AND MEZODERMAL ORIGIN, American Assoc. Anti Aging Medicine, 1995.

    Schandl, E.K., The cancer Profile, American Assoc.Bioanalysts, Abstract, May 13-15, 2004, Las Vegas, NV

    Schandl, E.K., has written numerous newspaper articles, participated in a number of TV and radio shows, and is constantly lecturing in the areas of health maintenance, disease prevention and therapies.

  78. gp says

    Dr. Orac, if you would be so kind to answer this very simple three part question I would be forever in your debt.

    How many medical conventions did you attend in the calendar year of 2008; what were the destinations of said medical conventions; how many of those medical conventions trips were paid for by pharmaceutical companies?



  79. says

    gp could you answer two questions for me

    Do you know what argumentum ad hominem and ignoratio elenchi mean?

    Instead of making an attack on him (an irrelevant one I might add) answer his critiques of your assertions.

  80. Dave Gahan says

    it’s great to see a lot of skeptics throwing their penny’s worth online about stuff they haven’t even looked into. The energy mentioned in this post is called Orgone Energy. I recently came across a blog explaining what Orgone/orgonite is, it’s discover and the benefits it has been proven to have on the health of thousands around this rock of ours.

    Take a look for yourself and see if you are still as skeptical as you all come across.

    website link to the Orgone Information:

  81. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    The energy mentioned in this post is called Orgone Energy. I recently came across a blog explaining what Orgone/orgonite is, it’s discover and the benefits it has been proven to have on the health of thousands around this rock of ours.

    Funny how it isn’t mentioned in the peer reviewed scientific literature, but rather a blog. That should make you stop and really think about the claims. Hang on to both your mind and your wallet.

  82. Caine says

    Dave Gahan:

    Take a look for yourself and see if you are still as skeptical as you all come across.

    I looked. My skepticism is undented. It’s crap quackery and a fraud. Either your head is soaked in woo, or you’re just another huckster.