1. Equisetum says

    Lovely. Just lovely. When’s the musical coming out? I’ll certainly buy the DVD.

    Virgil, I was all happy and smiling until I looked at those links. Thanks. But if I just think ‘Poe’ I’m all happy again.

  2. hobbes says

    I suppose we should expect to see proposition 8.5 next year in California – a ban on gay atheist music videos.

  3. Burning Umbrella says

    Trying to insinuate that the first amendment includes filthy atheists is clearly a sin.

    Besides, you just voted a self-proclaimed devout christian as your president. Not that you had option though, for isn’t democracy wonderful?

  4. tsg says

    Trying to insinuate that the first amendment includes filthy atheists is clearly a sin.

    Somehow, your imaginary sky fairy disapproving of tolerance doesn’t suprise me in the least.

    Too bad he doesn’t disapprove of blatant ignorance…

  5. says

    That is one catchy tune. Too bad in real life you can’t get an Arab and a Jew dancing together. Nice reference to Jefferson’s Bible. Definitely one to play at parties hehe.

  6. ggab says

    Hey, that was fun but did you see that guys dancing?
    How the hell did we find a musician without rhythm?

  7. Matt says

    For entertainment, just found this youtube. Maybe you all have seen it already. Lady can’t believe there’s a rainbow in her sprinkler mist. Must be pollution, etc. Not kidding.

  8. JB says

    filthy atheists

    Boy, people like BurningUmbrella are lucky that unbridled stupidity isn’t a terminal illness.

  9. says

    Trying to insinuate that the first amendment includes filthy atheists is clearly a sin.

    Nothing to insinuate, it’s there in black and white. And most atheists I know shower regularly, so we aren’t as filthy as some might imagine. Oh wait… y’all imagine a bunch of other stuff that isn’t true, too.

    Anyway, I’m proud to live in a country where videos like this are protected under the First Amendment historically accurate, politically correct, visually fun … and successfully do their part to piss off the religious right.

  10. Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker says

    Posted by: Burning Umbrella | November 6, 2008

    Trying to insinuate that the first amendment includes filthy atheists is clearly a sin.

    Hey! I took a shower this morning.

    Oh wait, you are talking about something else. Why don’t you just come out and say it; IT IS FREEDOM OF RELIGION NOT FREEDOM FROM RELIGION!

    You took the first shot so I will fire back, you are a pig ignorant asshole.

    The figures named in the video were not christians as you would know it. As shown in the video, Jefferson did edit the bible, taking out all supernatural events, thus leaving what he felt were the valuable thing from that book, moral teachings.

    If you paid attention, the video was an attack on those who would use the american government to force their religion on others.

    As it stands, I can life openly as an atheist. Ain’t that great! And I will not tolerate any mental filth from the likes of you. Fuck off.

  11. lytefoot says

    Well, that could’ve used a NSFW warning… and I think I may need to burn my eyeballs out after watching the intro… but awesome, just awesome.

    BTW… everything in Burning Umbrella’s post rang my sarcasm detectors. Am I wrong? Does (s)he have other posts that lead people to think (s)he’s serious? Have I got my optimism about human nature tuned too high lately?

  12. Kalyn says

    Barack Obama may be a Christian – but he’s also a secularist who does not stand for basing public policy on religious motives. This is a nation of Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, Mormons, Muslims, and nonbelievers. He said that – not me.

  13. Pony says

    You know, I could be wrong, but I thought there was a strong sarcastic undertone to Burning Umbrella’s post.

  14. JB says

    @#20 — Maybe… If so, I apologize. Otherwise, my statement stands, and I will second Janine’s.

  15. Jeanette says

    lytefoot @18: I could be wrong, but I thought Burning Umbrella was being sarcastic, too, especially in light of the whole comment. People keep quoting the first part and ignoring the rest of it, so I think they’re missing something. And I’m not in an overly rose-tinted mood today.

  16. Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker says

    Burning Umbrella, you should realize, it is difficult to do a parody of crazed christian thought. It is a parody unto itself. Therefore, it is hard to tell parody from the (sur)real thing.

    Seeing that it was a joke, I apologize for verbal lashing you.

  17. Epinephrine says

    “Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal, rather than religion-specific, values. It requires that their proposals be subject to argument, and amenable to reason. I may be opposed to abortion for religious reasons, but if I seek to pass a law banning the practice, I cannot simply point to the teachings of my church or evoke God’s will. I have to explain why abortion violates some principle that is accessible to people of all faiths, including those with no faith at all.”

    Barack Obama, (probably the speech linked above, by Kalyn @#19).

    I really think this could be a good thing for Americans.

  18. Jeanette says

    Burning Umbrella @29: Some of us got it. Things sometimes get lost in the translation in written communication, is all. Have a great day, anyway.

  19. Burning Umbrella says

    I’ll keep trying. One day it shall be possible to distinguish the real thing from parody (or there won’t be need for it), and then my wit might impress someone other than myself.

    Yes, I’m an optimist.

  20. Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker says

    We all need to be, even if it sometimes goes against my better judgment.

  21. says

    Burning Umbrella, ya gotta watch out for Poes’ Law.

    That said, apparently the “jump to conclusions mat” didn’t work out. Although he did say: “I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don’t have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?”

  22. Robert Thille says

    We really need people to add </poe> tags at the end of their posts, for the less cluefull in the audience…

  23. Jeeves says

    Is the old gentleman with the Bible from Office Space? The one who wanted to retire on the “Jump to Conclusions” mat. Could be.

  24. Evinfuilt says

    I have to 2nd the love given to the Jefferson bible, nothing like having a heretic being labeled as a bible thumping Christian by all too many people.

    Still, I don’t like seeing anyone taking a black pen to a book, no matter the book. Thankfully he used scissors, just like the people in Constantinople who “wrote” the first version.

  25. says

    “Still, I don’t like seeing anyone taking a black pen to a book, no matter the book. ”

    Meh. For me, it’s the red and blue pens. I just can’t watch.

  26. SanMan says

    Virgil: Thanks for those links.
    After reading the messages, I am just astounded that otherwise intelligent beings could give their reasoning and freewill over so completely to a fantasy. This message,” I am so sad. Please Lord, bring us home. We want to come home.” is a primary reason that there is so much war and murder in the world. Why care for your life, when a better one is waiting “on the other side”? If only these people had some consciousness after they pass, which reveals that their beliefs were all in vain… if only they could convey that experience to the living.

  27. IAmMarauder says

    @52 – I am astounded by some of the comments as well.

    Another link that surprised me was the NY Times “wordtrain” regarding the election:

    It wasn’t too bad until I looked at the words linked to McCain supporters. I was astounded that “scared” was at the top – it Obama being elected really something to be scared of?

    I was also saddening to read some of the other words on there: “disgusted”, “horrified”, “terrified” and “sick”. I realise that the is some emotion when your candidate loses, but still…

  28. Michelle says

    Catchiest song ever! I’ll sing it all night long!

    …Or not. I think they’d think I’m a retard.

  29. varlo says

    I too thought B/Um was not serious. Nevertheless I consider “Filthy Atheist” a badge of honor, hope it is highly contaminable, and can’t wait until it is the majority condition.

  30. Daniel Korostyshevsky says

    That is great!!! It is scary how many people think that this is actually a christian nation. It never really was and hopefully will never be one. I say America will one day be a pastafarian country! Arrr!!

  31. Benny the Icepick says

    How much d’ya think they had to pay Richard Riehle to dress up as a BDSM-lovin’ preacher?

  32. Hank says

    Re: Virgil #1

    I find the comments these people are making absolutely frightening. They are ASKING to die because Barack Obama has been elected president. And what is even more frightening, they want all the rest of us to die with them. I cannot fathom this mindset. The tragedy of living the only life we have thinking like this, and the absolute evil of filling children’s minds with these kinds of beliefs and passing on this poison to the next generation. I’m depressed.

  33. Charlie says

    That was too funny ROFL……. again please

  34. tsg says

    Poe’s Law

    Duh, well that worked ok

    The corollary to Poe’s Law is that it is impossible to invent a religious position so ridiculous that no one holds it in earnest.

    internet rookie, can you tell?

    We all were at once.

  35. kamanu says

    I did get the “filthy atheist” sarcasm on the first read

    When I told a friend about Jefferson editing the supernatural stuff out of the new testament, he laughed and asked if it was longer than two pages

    he since has become a filthy atheist himself

  36. RamblinDude says

    At first it started to wear on me … but then it grew on me. I like it!

    Oh, smack them christians down, yeehaw! (Metaphorically, of course.)

  37. Roger the Shrubber says

    1. Is the Smack Them Christians Down song available as a ringtone?

    2. How do we get this on prime time television?

  38. Susan B. Anthony says

    My name is Susan B. Anthony and I approve this message.
    (Gotta get the women involved too!)

  39. Rik G says

    Funny lyrics, fun video, but day-um, that music suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!
    Want some catchy lyrics AND music with teeth? Try Frank Zappa’s “Dumb All Over”…

    Whoever we are
    Wherever were from
    We shoulda noticed by now
    Our behavior is dumb
    And if our chances
    Expect to improve
    Its gonna take a lot more
    Than tryin to remove
    The other race
    Or the other whatever
    From the face
    Of the planet altogether

    They call it the earth
    Which is a dumb kinda name
    But they named it right
    cause we behave the same…
    We are dumb all over
    Dumb all over,
    Yes we are
    Dumb all over,
    Near n far
    Dumb all over,
    Black n white
    People, we is not wrapped tight

    Nurds on the left
    Nurds on the right
    Religous fanatics
    On the air every night
    Sayin the bible
    Tells the story
    Makes the details
    Sound real gory
    bout what to do
    If the geeks over there
    Dont believe in the book
    We got over here

    You cant run a race
    Without no feet
    n pretty soon
    There wont be no street
    For dummies to jog on
    Or doggies to dog on
    Religous fanatics
    Can make it be all gone
    (I mean it wont blow up
    n disappear
    Itll just look ugly
    For a thousand years…)

    You cant run a country
    By a book of religion
    Not by a heap
    Or a lump or a smidgeon
    Of foolish rules
    Of ancient date
    Designed to make
    You all feel great
    While you fold, spindle
    And mutilate
    Those unbelievers
    From a neighboring state

    To arms! to arms!
    Hooray! thats great
    Two legs aint bad
    Unless theres a crate
    They ship the parts
    To mama in
    For souvenirs: two ears (get down!)
    Not his, not hers, (but what the hey? )
    The good book says:
    (it gotta be that way!)
    But their book says:
    Revenge the crusades…
    With whips n chains
    n hand grenades…
    Two arms? two arms?
    Have another and another
    Our God says:
    There aint no other!
    Our God says
    Its all okay!
    Our God says
    This is the way!

    It says in the book:
    Burn n destroy…
    n repent, n redeem
    n revenge, n deploy
    n rumble thee forth
    To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
    cause they dont go for whats in the book
    n that makes em bad
    So verily we must choppeth them up
    And stompeth them down
    Or rent a nice french bomb
    To poof them out of existance
    While leaving their real estate just where we need it
    To use again
    For temples in which to praise our god
    (cause he can really take care of business!)

    And when his humble tv servant
    With humble white hair
    And humble glasses
    And a nice brown suit
    And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
    Tells us our God says
    Its okay to do this stuff
    Then we gotta do it,
    cause if we dont do it,
    We aint gwine up to hebbin!
    (depending on which book youre using at the
    Time…cant use theirs… it dont work
    …its all lies…gotta use mine…)
    Aint that right?
    Thats what they say
    Every night…
    Every day…
    Hey, we cant really be dumb
    If were just following gods orders
    Hey, lets get serious…
    God knows what he’s doin
    He wrote this book here
    An the book says:
    He made us all to be just like him,
    If were dumb…
    Then God is dumb…
    (an maybe even a little ugly on the side)

    …I can even picture that illustrated Dr. Seuse style!

  40. says

    Hello, fab denizens of Pharyngula. I’m Jay Spears, the singer songwriter who wrote & performed SMAK DEM CHRISTIANS DOWN and produced the music video. I’m delighted & gratified by your comments and interest. It’s a thrill to know that one can produce popular entertainment without having to cater to the LCD in the audience.
    To answer a specific question or two, the cast was all-volunteer, mostly pals from my college days. I met Dick Riehle (the Preacher) in college when he was teaching & I was a student. The S&M parody of Ted Haggard didn’t bother Richard in the least since he’s a pro, a trouper and a sweetheart.
    The director (Mark Herrier, one of the PORKYS guys) and I wanted the Jefferson (Brad Hall, of SNL) Bible sequences to be the major visual memory from the vid, an iconoclasm-gasm as it were. Franklin (Mike Winters, of Gilmore Girls) and Lincoln (Mark Harelik, Light in the Piazza @ Lincoln Center) going “Rodney King” on the fundie was totally improvised.
    I wrote the song several years ago in response to the Federal DOMA. Didn’t realize how appropriate it would be here in CA given our recent election.
    You can get CDs & DVDs of my stuff at and downloads from iTunes & most other outlets. I would appreciate your support.
    Cheers dudes & KEEP ON SMAKKIN’!

  41. Xavier says

    It strikes me that there is an excellent meme in this to retort the claim that USA was founded as a christian nation:

    The decidedly religious pilgrims who first arrived at North America were British, the very group who were defeated in order to establish the USA . . . the christians are on the wrong side!

  42. Michelle says

    Hey, it’s the Jay man himself!

    You just became one of my new heroes. Cuz you made a catchy song out of such an important topic! Creations like that need to be hailed to.

  43. JD says

    Hello, fab denizens of Pharyngula. I’m Jay Spears, the singer songwriter who wrote & performed SMAK DEM CHRISTIANS DOWN and produced the music video.

    Jay, that video was awesome. Thanks for making it. I hope it goes viral.

  44. silentsanta says

    I appreciate the sentiment, I suppose, but the song didn’t really appeal. Now, if Sam Harris and I were to construct an objective system of auditory aesthetics… ;)

  45. Fernando Magyar says

    Posted by: Dances With Books

    That is one catchy tune. Too bad in real life you can’t get an Arab and a Jew dancing together.

    I get the feeling you need to get out a bit more into the real world…

    Does a Palestinian and an American Jew count? I happened to have known such a happy couple, oh, and btw they were both female. They used to throw some fabulous parties, unfortunately one of them has now passed on.

  46. Ploon says

    Anyone call Godwin yet? Anyway, in this instance it gave me a laugh – limbo-ing under the outstretched arms of Hitler-saluting nazis! Brilliant!

  47. Carl Troein says

    Best! Song! Evar!
    Or, well, bloody good anyway, and more well-directed, well-choreographed and generally well-polished than anything I’ve seen on the Internet in quite some time. If the PCR song could go viral I don’t see why this wouldn’t, unless the topic is too controversial in the US and too US-centric to interest people elsewhere. But hey, I’ll do my part and spread it as far and wide as I can. Excellent work, Jay!

  48. bezoar says

    This is going out to my religiobots in central KY. A good dose of history is the best cure for religious intolerance and bigotry, provided of course that these indoctrinated ears will (want to) hear!

  49. Elmershmelmer says

    I like it! but why discriminate on the christians. For anybody outside the USA like , it has to include all religions, especially their fundies that are the problem. It’s a bit precious to make fun of the christians in the USA, when you’d get beheaded in most arab countries if you say you’re an atheist! The jew/arab bit was hilariously untrue and non representative.

  50. Colin says

    Nice video, and catchy tune, however, three problems.

    1. Nazis aren’t Christians. They’re bigots that’s for sure, but I’m sure the singer could have found other Christians to portray rather than having to bring in Racist neo-pagans

    2. KKK members aren’t Christians either. Sure some of them profess to be, but much like #1 above, they fall more under neo-paganism

    3. It’s difficult to say Lincoln was not a Christian. Some of his quotes portray skepticism, however, he comes from a Baptist lineage, Lincoln read the Bible regularly and was committed to God and morality throughout his life. Some historians call him a Deist. Thus, while I’ll grant the other figures, Lincoln is less obvious a pick.

  51. Josh West says

    1) They had God With Us on their uniforms, and Hitler used Christian/Catholic thinking to justifiy his actions. In order to say the Nazis weren’t Christian you end up with a No True Sctosman

    2) Again, they used christianity to justify thier views. See above

    3) He was kind of the odd president out. It could be interpreted that he was not a christian when it came to governing I guess.

  52. says

    I’m just sayin’….

    1) There were no Muslims, Buddhists, or Hindus in the Third Reich. The people who showed up to work at the death camps and Gestapo Headquarters every day were Christians.

    2) From

    Welcome to the Ku Klux Klan!
    Bringing a Message of Hope and Deliverance to White Christian America! A Message of Love NOT Hate!

    ’nuff said. And 3) Honest Abe, in an 1846 campaign handbill:

    “That I am not a member of any Christian Church, is true; but I have never denied the truth of the Scriptures; and I have never spoken with intentional disrespect of religion in general, or of any denomination of Christians in particular.”

    Cheers dudes & Keep On Smakkin!

  53. Colin says

    Perhaps a retraction on my stance on the KKK is due. However, I do recall seeing an episode of Louis Theroux meets the Nazis. Where one of the people being interviewed (a kkk member) makes it clear that he doesn’t consider the KKK a Christian entity. More research to do…

    As far as the Nazi’s, that I’ll stick to. It’s debatable what role Pius XII had in WWII, but it is fact that Hitler had a plot to assassinate him. So despite compacts with Germany signed earlier, the pope seems to have done something to piss der Führer off. My point is that with all of Hitler’s ideology of a master race, of the Fatherland and all, while he may have used some Xn thought, he wasn’t an Xn by the time he rose in power. One could argue, that he was his own god? Sure many xns worked at the camps, but if you’re brainwashed from serving one deity to serving another, doesn’t that change your religion?

    As far as Jay’s assertion of no Muslims in the third reich, that’s not really true. The cooperation between the Nazis and Hajj Amin al-Husseini, the Grand-Mufti of Jerusalem, who supported Hitler with speeches, propaganda (he had the “protocols” translated into Arabic), and political alliances, is a matter of historical record. He’s even credited with masterminding the “final solution.” So while perhaps none of the guards were rolling out a mat five times a day, I daresay certain Islamic elements were involved with the Nazi program.

  54. says

    Well you certainly win the MTA Award (Most Tortured Argument). Christians brainwashed, duped, seduced, or bullied into serving Hitler were still Christians. And your rebuttal to my “no Muslims in the Third Reich” statement is “wull… there were Muslims in Palestine….” Sorry Colin, some Christians are guilty of heinous atrocities, like lynching blacks, gassing Jews, and burning witches. Coming from a Catholic background myself, I admit it. Those Christians need BIF TIME SMAKKIN’! As do the US religious right to whom I address my song & video.
    Cheers dude

  55. Colin says


    You’re probably right. I still don’t buy the whole Nazis=Xns bit, but I need to articulate it better. I also didn’t make the connection that you’re the song writer/performer, nice job dude!

  56. says

    I still don’t buy the whole Nazis=Xns bit

    I don’t think anyone would contend that Nazis=Christians, but given the fact that Germany was predominantly Christian, and that Nazism fed off historic Christian anti-Semitism, it seems highly implausible that Nazis were not predominantly Christian.

    Some interesting photographs: