Monday, 12 May, 2:30pm. This is your chance.
The Residence Hall Association on my campus is having a fundraiser to send some members to a national conference, so they’ll be selling pies … to throw at faculty. I’ll be standing there for that half-hour, so students and anyone else who wants revenge can join in.
I expect a long, long line now. I’ll be very disappointed if I don’t have a horde prepared to be mean to me. And do note that this will be especially messy: the beard, you know. You won’t be getting your money’s worth with those clean-shaven professors.
No, don’t google that name.
I’m warning you.
Dang, too late, you’ve just become a statistical anomaly.