Somebody please restore my faith in humanity and reassure me that Christvertising is satire.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Somebody please restore my faith in humanity and reassure me that Christvertising is satire.
Gotta be satire. Funny as hell too! I loved the “wide variety of refeshments” line.
That there is my nephew and I can assure you it is real. They’ve been the Lord’s work for decades.
His grandfather, my uncle, Christvertised the original Pet Rock.
I love that guy. I wish I’d thought of that, but then, I’m an atheist, and we have morals. No matter, I hope he makes a million.
Nope. Just another way to fleece the flock brought to you by a former alum of the Elmer Gantry School for Scoundrels.
Isn’t that Chris Mooney?
And hmmm, that wasn’t a very big maze.
Definitely satire. And brilliant – I wasn’t sure for the first minute or so.
Anyone who trusts a man in pleated-front khakis deserves what they get.
Oh fuck! I’m pretty sure that is real. I’m sorry PZ, I was hoping to shake your hand at the upcoming conference here, but I am not sure I can live in this world anymore. I must remove myself from this insanity. I must kill myself now.
I’m pretty sure that’s satire. Guy can hardly keep a straight face. “Isosceles” strategy? God the ultimate end-user? Gotta be parody.
Of course, I’ve been fooled before . . .
Okay, so I’ve watched the other videos. It may be a hoax. I was just cupchicked earlier (if you don’t know what that means, don’t look into it) so my skeptical goggles were rather smeared with shit. So it may be satirical. It does somewhat appear to be satirical. If not, holy fuck!
Now that’s the kind of maze ANY dimwitted creationist can complete in a reasonable amount of time!
A quick search found this:
“Yes, of course the site is tongue-in-cheek. It’s a parody of how advertising agency execs talk when courting new business.”
http://pzrservices.typepad.com/advertisingisgoodforyou/advertising_humor/index.html
Has anyone seen Vanilla Sky? This very much reminds me of the commercials they would show in that movie.
Looks like satire to me. The “Where” tab would be much more elaborate if it were a real attempt at fleecing (Visit us at our multimillion dollar facility in beautiful Lynchburg, Virginia). Oh and “Isosceles”.
Ah well — at least I learned that I’ve been mispronouncing *yet another* word.
I can’t decide which target is getting the worst of it: Christians or marketing pinheads. I’m leaning towards marketing pinheads. And those shoes. My god, the shoes.
Absolutely gotta be a hoax. I wonder how many clients this guy is about to get. I can’t wait for his documentary in his religious studies course (maybe he is an understudy for Michael Moore.)
I would love him to check in here and let us in on this. It is really funny and well done.
Nope, I got Poe’d earlier, not falling for this.
Nothing is too ridiculous to be a sincere religious undertaking, so it’s difficult to distinguish between a clever hoax and a serious-as-a-heart-attack religious project. I’m skeptical that this is sincere, but I can’t dismiss it out of hand. After all, can it really be a hoax if Ed van Pelt says “We have a wide variety of refreshments”? And he claims a doctorate, too. (Perhaps in truthology.)
Yes, it is definitely satire. I know because “Dr. Ed van Pelt” used to coach the comedy group I was in. His real life name is Rod ben Zeev and he lives in Amsterdam. See http://www.rodbenzeev.com
I thought of that too. Life Extensions. Heh.
Hilarious. And the funniest part is when van Pelt is standing on the stone in the pond. Great stuff.
What a friend you have in Jesus,
Helping hike your market share.
Jesus wants you to be wealthy,
At the least a millionaire.
Pray against your toughest rivals,
Leave them crying in despair.
All because of Christvertising’s
Power of market-researched prayer.
Christvertising, despite its catchy little title, is a lost art form. Oh. Wait. No. Sorry. I’m now being told by my spiritual advisor that it is alive and well in a church called “The Oval Office”… Never mind.
Ha!
In clip two I believe he says that if God likes your product he will bless it. I suppose then that if He doesn’t like your product you shall burn in everlasting bankruptcy!
Mom LUVS advertising like this!! She will clip out all the “Christian Brothers Auto Repair” ads out of our hometown newspaper and mail them to me with little post-its attached saying “You know theyre crooks!”
LOL Mom.
You think that’s satire, check this out!!!
http://www.eunicure.com/
Checked out the Eunicure and found it funny. 4 out of 10. But it does not compare to Christvertizing for sublety.
Mostly OT: have people seen Christopher Hitchens latest exercise in spitting on his own fans with a cleverly wanking article in Vanity Fair, where he explains why women do not have a sense of humor, excepting and handwaving about the very many excellent female comediennes.
Chris ‘itch really has that attitude I associate mostly with rock stars: a deep need to prove his independence by needlessly insulting those who have no real disagreements with his practical visions of the world.
Seems to be a joke.
http://j-walkblog.com/index.php/weblog/comments/christvertising/
The Wittenburg Door often has hard-to-believe examples of the real thing. Plus they have a great column by Joe Bob Briggs.
Some people might find that information pretty persuasive, Luis, but you’re ignoring the possibility that God might have spoken to Rod ben Zeev and caused him to see the light, change his name to Dr. Ed van Pelt, and embark on a Christvertising ministry. Didn’t think of that, did you?
This would conflict with the core of Amway. Lawsuits galore.
WHOIS info
contactprivacy.com, christvertising.com@contactprivacy.com
96 Mowat Ave
Toronto, ON M6K 3M1
I think this is someone with a good sense of humor and a good sense of privacy.
It’s got to be a hoax, everyone knows Lucy Van Pelt’s brothers name is Linus, not Ed.
Ohh, good. I was fooled, then. I was (not?) reassured by my friend that it was serious. Regardless, the “if God likes you product” line was hilarious.
There are moments when I am a bit embarrassed that I share the same genetic code as these people.
Well, that’s life.
Pharyngula is the top-ranked blog written by a scientist, according to Nature magazine.
So, does God love Pharyngula, or does PZ have a contract with Satan Worldwide Advertising Corp.?
I think it is a work of genius, the isosoles part nailed it.
Wolfram & Hart’s PR branch.
Its satire, but satire built on satire.
After all many people have already swallowed the “Christ wants you to lead a life of poverty” sold by blokes dressed in silk in front of gold plated altars (special offer: for only 10% of your earnings, plus the right to interfere with your reproductive decisions).
Many people have swallowed the “Hate the Jews” message of Luther, even though Christ was a Jew.
Many people have swallowed the “Truth” of the Creation Museum, even though it is all fake dinosaurs and animatronics.
Yep, satire on satire, and therefore strangely compelling.
Even if it IS true, it’s still a joke.
Definitely satire. The “wide variety” of refreshments was a dead giveaway.
Wait, was that before or after he was named Alex and worked for Rolling Stone? I’m so confused.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18975616
I wonder if they’d advertise for this lady?
Could gawd make a dildo so huge that it………. :)
http://divine-interventions.com/baby.php
I acted too soon. With just a little more research I think I found the perfect product for Dr. van Pelt to push. Where he pushes it is described in the owners manual.
Was one of the refreshments 1 in 3 Trinity, the Christian energy drink?
And yet this cretin has no idea that he is insane. Truly
amazing how the brain of Einstein can figure out the
workings of the universe, but this cretin’s brain cannot
decipher the insane results of his. As I written before,
the insane do not know that they are insane. It will only
get worse and more scary.
“…we have a wide variety of snacks.” That was absolutely the best line of the whole thing. Come for the Ultimate End-User, stay for the lemonade on a card-table. It’s Christalicious!
If only he’d had oatmeal chocolate chip communion wafers to munch on, I’d be there.
They would have hit a bigger market share if they’d called it Godvertising.
Not satire at all. Jesus knows me and he knows my name. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTrYE4a1BmE
He wants me to prosper and bless his holy name. In heaven he only uses products he can endorse… those of the faithful. Now here’s how easy it is to be a golden child.
Just sign up and purchase a franchise. Cost, not much, just your soul. And the… royalties, you know, 10% of gross sales. A little for God and you keep the rest… What could be fairer then that.
Come on people… give God some slack! There is room for everyone. Sign up now!
This guy should team up with Edward Current.
Haha Poe’s Law
They also quote the Deut bible verse wrong, which is another giveaway.
No, they quoted it correctly. You must be using one of them Satanic bibles, instead of the Authorized King James Version of 1611 — the only English Bible dictated by the Holy Ghost Himself!
Oh, I almost forgot…
Also make sure you get a real Authorized King James Version of 1611 and not a counterfeit knock-off “Authorized King James Version of 1611” (probably printed with lead ink in godless China!)
Here’s a site with a handy check list of Real Bible words to shew if your Bible is a Real Bible or a counterfeit designed to trick the publick. For ensample: if your so called bible says “chestnut” instead of “chesnut”, it might be implanting subtle sexual messages into your mind instead of the wholesome Word of the Lord.
Furthermore:
I intreat you to alway throughly check to make sure you are not being ripped off by Satan!
Oh right, I forgot. Old-soundy language trumps accurate translation.
My bad.
Yes, I find it maddening: even two percent less and I could fling poo at them with impunity.
Holy crap, #54, that site was serious, wasn’t it? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I will now do my best to forget I ever saw it. (It won’t work)
They’re just “framing” religion.
(.)(.) This is real, too.
Hmmmm….
JPF #54The seven-letter Saviour is the only begotten Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ. The six-letter Savior is the son of perdition
So if you use Canuck or Brit spelling, you’re a good guy. Use US spelling, you’re toast.
I wonder if that was the start of the Great Satan BS? That you guys dropped a lot of youse?
Haven’t you read comment 20? It’s satire.
—————————
I read the whole page and thought it was satire. Then I went to the homepage of that site. In spite of the spelling “anti-Semetism”, it is not satire. Now my whole room stinks of the stupid oxide emanating from the screen. I feel sick. Sick. Sick.
Haven’t you read comment 20? It’s satire.
—————————
I read the whole page and thought it was satire. Then I went to the homepage of that site. In spite of the spelling “anti-Semetism”, it is not satire. Now my whole room stinks of the stupid oxide emanating from the screen. I feel sick. Sick. Sick.
Hilarious! Poe’s Law tells me I cannot know for certain, but I doubt it’s serious. But I certainly hope it is. I would love to see self-righteous fundy Christian business people ripped off in this manner.
Mowat Avenue is in an old industrial era of Toronto, dominated by an old carpet factory. The buildings are now used by small designers & high-tech firms who like offices with high, high ceilings. The area in general is called “Liberty Village” now after one of the streets.
And 96 Mowat Ave. is the office of Tucows, which among other things provides Web hosting for their clients. So the real location of the site remains private.
Tucows is a techie joke on a Microsoft file name, unicows.dll (Microsoft Layer for Unicode on Win9x Systems).
It’s definitely satire. Besides the guy being a comedy coach (thank God!), he’s wearing fancy running shoes and there’s no “Send Money” button.
It would be fun to lock the guy responsible for the “S-a-v-i-o-r not S-a-v-i-o-u-r” site in a room with the guy behind Conservapedia (remember their “British spelling is anti-American” stance? remember them at all?) and prod them until they’re at each other’s necks over one upsilon of difference.
Real? Fake? I decline to speculate……. but the scary thing is, I have a brother who’d fall for it in a minute. The real stuff he gets into isn’t all that much different.
This nearly got me, too. The consensus among us godless heathens on h2g2 is that it’s satire.
My favourite bit:
“Brand-targeted prayer (BTPtm)”
Guffaw!
I ran into to a xmas message from christvertising on youtube.
This guy scares me!
Sorry to spoil it, but this is a satire ‘Ed van Pelt’ is played by a very funny Amsterdam-based comedian.
*snerks* I love satires. :)