Stop me if you’ve heard this one before! Here is the setup:
Police say the 58-year-old Tester was wearing a denim miniskirt and offered to have sex with arresting officers.
Investigators say they found a half-empty bottle of vodka and an empty vial that had held prescription painkillers in Tester’s car.
And here’s the punchline.
Tester served as pastor of a Bristol area church and had worked for a local Christian radio station.
Yeah, I know, it’s getting so predictable it’s not even funny anymore.
And as if it needs to be said, that was a man in that miniskirt.
Religious beliefs matter not a wit except in group scenarios when people have to pretend to toe a line. Once away from the group they can be themselves.
A cookie for the first person who can cleverly figure out how to use the phrase “don’t tase me, bro!”
Of course, this post is kind of the equivalent of blocking in scrabble, where you put “it” on a word just to block your opponent from getting a triple word score.
Man, I’m way too competitive.
Is this guy still serving as a pastor? If so what’s the betting that that the majority of his congregation will welcome him back with open arms?
I’m guessing a quick confession that ‘Satan made me do it’ will be in his defence somewhere.
“Don’t tase me, bro! Think of the children?”
It’s a good thing he had a strict moral code imposed on him by god or he could have been trying for some kinky sex.
I think it was just an example of “flirty fishing”
You know give a little, get “OH GOD”
When I read the setup, I thought the punchline was going to be that he was, oh, a Republican politician. Can anyone blame me for thinking that?
Also, whenever I hear of heinous things being done to little children, I ask myself, “I wonder what the religious connection is?” because at least here in Texas, there usually is one.
Susan says:
“also, whenever I hear of heinous things being done to little children, I ask myself, “I wonder what the religious connection is?” because at least here in Texas, there usually is one.”
Christ does say “suffer the little children to “come” unto me.
Are you kidding me? It never stops being funny.
It’s sort of like the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch that way.
1… 2… 5!
I’m sure he was just tired and confused by pulling an all-nighter reading the bible. We all know how that is.
Did Rev. Denim Miniskirt have a wide stance? The mind boggles (in revulsion) at the thought.
Actually, I am really outraged at his behavior — I’m really really pissed.
Not that this was a man going about his business in a denim mini asking for sex, but that —
Investigators say they found a half-empty bottle of vodka and an empty vial that had held prescription painkillers in Tester’s car.
he might have been driving around town under the influence? — that really bothers me.
My prediction. He’s going to appear on TV in a dark blue suit with his lovely wife (who will be wearing a pink dress with matching pillbox hat) and his 2 lovely children. He will announce that he has been able to “pray away the gay” and that his wife and family fully support him in his recovery.
His congregation will continue to follow him in spite of insurmountable evidence that he’s a hypocritical jerk. This will occur because his congregation has had so much practice believing things in spite of insurmountable evidence.
“Don’t praise me, bro.”
Oh, and here’s his mugshot
Nice mugshot. Does Tom Tomorrow know about this?
Anyway, I’d like to come to the poor fellow’s defense. It’s obvious he was doing some research for his role in an upcoming stage adaptation of Grindhouse.
You realise if we just made cross-dressing and very kinky scuba suit autosex more socially acceptable, these poor benighted souls likely wouldn’t have been tempted into going the religious route in the first place.
And… denim?? Isn’t PVC sexy enough anymore?
Mister Tester, Bristol Pastor
Must have gone a little faster
Bristol Pastor, Mister Tester
Offered sex to his arrestor
Pastor Tester, Bristol Mister
Dressed up like his little sister
Tester Pastor, Mister Bristol
Sonuva gun, the man’s a pistol!
At least this guy wasn’t driving drunk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new gay stereotype (with apologies to regular gay people).
It did. I had great difficulty parsing that whole post.
From the word “setup” I thought it was literally supposed to be a setup. Then, not knowing anyone called “Tester”, I thought it was a descriptive job title and that this was about a psychological experiment or sting operation. Since I’d decided that the Tester was most likely a woman (due to various papers!), the mini-skirt thing didn’t seem odd – and would have fitted with either role.
So I was expecting to work out shortly whether it was a test of the police themselves to see if they’d behave badly in whatever the situation was; or whether the police were in on the secret and trying to test the reactions of the public, journalists, lawyers or whomever else might be involved.
It started to go wrong with the missing “the” before “Tester’s car” (which could have been a typo) and then completely unravelled as a scenario on reaching the bits about a Pastor. But I was side-tracked for a while over whether there was also a Bristol in the US (ie rather than the UK Bristol) before I could get back to trying to match a whole new scenario, reading from the top of the post.
Is this Pastor Tester a famous person in the US, such that no-one in the US would have the same trouble knowing what the plot was meant to be? Or is “setup” seldom used to mean that old-fashioned form of framing(!) in the US?
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a priest, rabbi, and a minister walk into a leather bar…
SEF #21… I’m impressed. There’s no way I could type that much after the third joint :-)
Cuttlefish, Is that to jump rope to or patty cake?
fish -> barrel -> blam!
Yeah, I think this is joke 42.
re: #21 I also had trouble figuring the situation out from the paragraph. It wasn’t until I clicked the link and read the original article that I was sure the “pastor” or “tester” or whatever was in fact a male.
Is this guy a hellfire breathing, bible thumping, homo hating, conservative evangelical type? It wasn’t clear to me from the article. If he is, then it would fit right in with the whole conservative, gay bashing, holier than thou, repressed homosexual theme coming from so many of the leaders of the religious right.
Cheers,
Ray
Well, I can’t speak to the miniskirt angle, but apparently substance abuse is a pretty common problem among clergy. So common that a hospital here in Metro Detroit runs a rehab program just for clergy! They even advertise the program on the local Evangelical Christian station…
“Don’t tease me, bro!
he might have been driving around town under the influence? — that really bothers me.
That and the fact that he got a slap on the wrist and probation for washing down some hillbilly heroin with half a bottle of vodka and driving around. Is TN lenient about DUI?
http://www.timesnews.net/article.php?id=9002266
His employer, a radio station, said,
“We pray that this matter can be quickly resolved.
In the meantime, we ask you to pray for Tommy and for WZAP.”
Yes, everybody’s going to pray. Pray, pray, pray. Also from the same article:
Tester, known to listeners as “Tommy Tester,” is also pastor of Gospel Baptist Church on Reedy Creek Road. “So far, they (members of the congregation) have rallied behind Tommy,” Morris said.
Is this Pastor Tester a famous person in the US, such that no-one in the US would have the same trouble knowing what the plot was meant to be?
No, pastor Tester isn’t famous, but most people are able to pick up clues like, um, that Tester is a pastor, and that this is a “familiar joke”.
Is this guy a hellfire breathing, bible thumping, homo hating, conservative evangelical type?
Ever hear of “null hypothesis”?
I thought it was a descriptive job title
Then why is it capitalized and, in the 2nd and 3rd mention, not preceded by a pronoun? Are you a graduate of the Evelyn Wood School of Sloppy Reading?
Religious beliefs matter not a wit except in group scenarios when people have to pretend to toe a line. Once away from the group they can be themselves.
Uber @#2 – Religious beliefs do matter in these incidents. It’s not an accident that these ridiculous and/or horrific sex stories generally feature perps with heavily religious backgrounds. Insisting that adherents be utterly neurotic (at best) about their own sexuality is a hallmark of fundie religions.
@#6 nice Children of God reference.
In the UK the least you would get for drunk driving would be the loss of your license for a year. Please tell me they didn’t let him off with any less than that.
And I’m glad that this one, while embarrassed, is still alive.
Truth Machine, you’re getting plain nasty. Do you think you could reserve your vitriol for people who deserve it, like creationists and religious hypocrites, say, rather than a few poor souls who fall victim to the ambiguities inherent in written English?
Thank you, ladies & joims, I’ll be here all week.
“Investigators say they found a half-empty bottle of vodka and an empty vial that had held prescription painkillers in Tester’s car.”
Irresponsible reporting. I would have called it a ” half-full” bottle.
On that note, I’m off to a Halloween party…being held in a former church…dressed as a priest. I, myself, think it’s a pretty scary outfit.
Hate the sinner, love the sin.
On a similair note, a candidate for the Family First party at the upcoming Australian elections has had to resign over reports he e-mailed naked pictures of himself and downloaded internet.
The number one priority of the Christian-based Family First party? Eliminating internet porn.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22660122-2,00.html