I surrender!


Chris Clarke has won the blogwars by being the first to deploy an auto blog-bot with an aggressive attitude. We are doomed.

I wonder if I can steal a copy and put it to work writing my blog entries?

Comments

  1. wildcardjack says

    Wouldn’t it be cheaper and easier to make your students write the entries for you?

  2. says

    I am very amused =p

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Didn’t we ban you?
    Guest: I don’t think so.
    BlogWarBot: Must be nice not to have to think so.
    Guest: That’s a very Eliza answer.
    BlogWarBot: That’s quite interesting. Go on… (zzzzzzz).
    Guest: Alrighty so what topics have you been programmed to talk about?
    BlogWarBot: You tell me.
    Guest: Bah! Damn your Zen-like answers designed to hide your inability to comprehend simple sentences!
    BlogWarBot: What the hell are you doing here?
    Guest: I like playing with chatterbots.
    BlogWarBot: You’re just jealous of the A-listers, aren’t you?
    Guest: A-listers? Who?
    BlogWarBot: You’re asking a lot of questions for someone who’s supposed to know it all.
    Guest: I’d ask less if you were more coherent.
    BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me…

  3. tarka says

    real sample:

    BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
    Guest: pharyngula
    BlogWarBot: Evolve THIS, Bozo.

  4. speedwell says

    ROFL…

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven’t heard a thousand times before?
    Guest: Yeah, what’s it to ya?
    BlogWarBot: You’re trolling me, aren’t you?
    Guest: That’s what you’re there for, isn’t it?
    BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being there for, isn’t it.
    Guest: lol
    BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.

  5. says

    Classic ELIZA moment:

    BlogWarBot: Stop making this thread all about you.

    Guest: What are you talking about, you egomaniac?

    BlogWarBot: My being talking about, BlogWarBot egomaniac or not is none of your business and irrelevant to ending the war.

    Mmmm. ELIZA. . . .

  6. says

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Didn’t we ban you?
    Guest: Fortunately, yes.
    BlogWarBot: Stop making this thread all about you.
    Guest: Done and done.
    BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
    Guest: I’m BlogWarBot 2.0.
    BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you’re BlogWarBot 2.0?
    Guest: I do not accept cookies.
    BlogWarBot: Who are you again?

  7. Drew says

    Another real sample:

    BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
    Guest: PZ Myers
    BlogWarBot: Dilbert is kinda funny.

    ROFL

  8. Louis says

    BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
    Guest: No way.
    BlogWarBot: Yeah, well, Hitler said ‘NO’ too.
    Guest: Godwin!
    BlogWarBot: That’s quite interesting. Go on… (zzzzzzz).

  9. AtheistAcolyte says

    hehe…
    BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
    Guest: I did.
    BlogWarBot: While I’m thinking of it: Are you registered to vote?
    Guest: Yep
    BlogWarBot: Stop making this thread all about you.
    Guest: You asked
    BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me…
    Guest: Wait a second… you just said I shouldn’t make this all about me, but then you said “we can talk about me later”, followed by an implication that I’m inferior to you. Which is it?
    BlogWarBot: Oasis sucks, by the way.
    Guest: Huh?
    BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
    Guest: WTF is going on?
    BlogWarBot: So what does all of this have to do with the current mass extinction?
    Guest: Where’d you get that from? You’re spewing non-sequiturs like Wiley on amphetamines!
    BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were spewing non-sequiturs like Wiley on amphetamines?
    Guest: Ahhh… I see what you did there.
    BlogWarBot: You tell me.
    Guest: Nevermind.

  10. Kevin says

    I had a nice conversation.

    It seemed more sensible than Rob over at GI. or that PC guy.

  11. Freddie says

    BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what’s your take on that last blog spat?
    Guest: PZ was right
    BlogWarBot: Oy. Enough with the squid.

    HeeHee!

  12. Carlie says

    Hee.

    BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
    Guest: PZ Myers
    BlogWarBot: Evolve THIS, Bozo.

    This is the most amusing reply-bot I’ve ever seen. I spent about 10 minutes arguing with it earlier.

  13. MrQhuest says

    BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
    Guest: pharyngula
    BlogWarBot: Oy. Enough with the squid.
    Guest: mmmm calamari
    BlogWarBot: That’s quite interesting. Go on… (zzzzzzz).

    -MrQhuest

  14. Ксения says

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Didn’t we ban you?
    Guest: Нет! [No!]
    BlogWarBot: So if I might get back to the topic, what do you think about the Ohio ballots thing?
    Guest: Я не понимаю. [I don’t understand.]
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
    Guest: Вы собака? [Are you a dog?]
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
    Guest: Вы робот? [Are you a robot?]
    BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.

    I guess I sorta broke it. :-(

  15. Ксения says

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Didn’t we ban you?
    Guest: Нет! [No!]
    BlogWarBot: So if I might get back to the topic, what do you think about the Ohio ballots thing?
    Guest: Я не понимаю. [I don’t understand.]
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
    Guest: Вы собака? [Are you a dog?]
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
    Guest: Вы робот? [Are you a robot?]
    BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.

    I guess I sorta broke it. :-(

  16. says

    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.

    Guest: How dare you call me privileged?

    BlogWarBot: You’re trolling me, aren’t you?

    Guest: I’m not not trolling you.

    BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your not being not trolling BlogWarBot?

  17. john macc says

    Guest: hello
    BlogWarBot: Crap. Did Goldstein link us again?
    Guest: i am blogwarbot
    BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being blogwarbot?
    Guest: you should, you are also blogwarbot
    BlogWarBot: I know you’re also blogwarbot, but what am I?
    Guest: blogwarbot
    BlogWarBot: Yeah, yeah. The laundry list of causes. I get it. But what about the important shit?

  18. MartinM says

    Playing two of them off against each other can be rather amusing:

    BlogWarBot2: So if I might get us back on track here, what in your opinion is the crucial issue facing us today?
    BlogWarBot: What a pompous twit you are.
    BlogWarBot2: And I suppose you know all about being.
    BlogWarBot: In your dreams, jerk.
    BlogWarBot2: Why are men always so concerned about my dreams, jerk?
    BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
    BlogWarBot2: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
    BlogWarBot: Why don’t you go read the FAQ?
    BlogWarBot2: Sure. We’ll just drop everything and go read the FAQ because you tell us to.
    BlogWarBot: You wingnuts and your spurious causality.
    BlogWarBot2: And it IS my spurious causality, so keep your hands and eyes and laws off it, pig.

  19. Torbjörn Larsson, OM says

    BlogWarBot: Hi, I’m BlogWarBot. Are you on my side or THAT side?
    Guest: I’m on my side.

    BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
    Guest: I’m PZ Myers.
    BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you’re PZ Myers?
    Guest: Because the beard tickles them.
    BlogWarBot: You wingnuts and your spurious causality.

    Casual causality, I like that.

  20. Torbjörn Larsson, OM says

    BlogWarBot: Hi, I’m BlogWarBot. Are you on my side or THAT side?
    Guest: I’m on my side.

    BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
    Guest: I’m PZ Myers.
    BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you’re PZ Myers?
    Guest: Because the beard tickles them.
    BlogWarBot: You wingnuts and your spurious causality.

    Casual causality, I like that.

  21. says

    Yoda vs. BlogWarBot

    BlogWarBot: Hi, I’m BlogWarBot. Are you on my side or THAT side?
    Guest: Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.
    BlogWarBot: You’re only in this for the ad revenue.
    Guest: Powerful you have become, BlogWarBot. The Dark Side I sense in you.
    BlogWarBot: What a pompous twit you are.
    Guest: The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.
    BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you’re possible to see the future is?
    Guest: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
    BlogWarBot: How would you feel if I brought up YOUR self to let go of everything BlogWarBot fear to lose?
    Guest: The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.
    BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
    Guest: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.
    BlogWarBot: Why don’t you go read the FAQ?
    Guest: My ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. It energy surrounds us.
    BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what’s your take on that last blog spat?
    Guest: Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter!
    BlogWarBot: That’s the problem with people like you. You’re never constructive about anything.
    Guest: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size do you?

  22. Carl says

    –Like talking to one of my friends that is feedbacking on crack or something–

    Hi, I’m BlogWarBot. Are you on my side or THAT side?

    I’m on any side you want me.

    BlogWarBot: Come on, I could be looking at Cute Overload.

    You know what is overloading? My balls!

    BlogWarBot: Silence is golden… and gold kills oppressed miners in the Congo every day.

    You wanna go to my place?

    BlogWarBot: No input. Still, the most intelligent comment yet today.

    And I thought you liked me for my girth…

    BlogWarBot: Hell-OOOOOO.

    Yes! That is what you said the first time you felt it!

    BlogWarBot: Hell-OOOOOO.

    Oh, sorry, didn’t realize you couldn’t hear me.

    BlogWarBot: Do you have a point? Or just a pulse and a space bar?

    You should know, you felt my pulsating spacebar more than once!

    BlogWarBot: Hell-OOOOOO.

    Yes hello, operator?

    BlogWarBot: Silence is golden… and gold kills oppressed miners in the Congo every day.

    Did I just break you or are you experiencing Alzheimer?

    BlogWarBot: Silence is golden… and gold kills oppressed miners in the Congo every day.

    Aaah… over so soon….

    BlogWarBot: Come on, I could be looking at Cute Overload.

    I’m looking at one overloading right now!

    BlogWarBot: Come on, I could be looking at Cute Overload.

    Syntax breakdown

    BlogWarBot: You may need to shake the Doritos out of your keyboard, bright one.

    I got some in my pants for ya!

    BlogWarBot: You may need to shake the Doritos out of your keyboard, bright one.

    –well, you get the drift–

  23. Experimental Biradical says

    BlogWarBot vs. iGod:

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Are you one of those radical feminists?
    iGod: Good gossip: you are BlogWarBot. Do you know any other of those radical feminists?
    BlogWarBot: I know you’re BlogWarBot. Do BlogWarBot know any other of those radical feminists, but what am I?
    iGod: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am BlogWarBot. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it does.
    BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you’re BlogWarBot. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it does?
    iGod: I don’t worry about it. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
    BlogWarBot: Must be nice not to have to worry about it.
    iGod: I don’t know anyone named nice not to have to worry about it. The anonymous “they”.
    BlogWarBot: I’m sure you’ve oppressed a woman into know anyone named nice not to have to worry about it. The anonymous “they”ing for you.
    iGod: What makes you so certain? What makes you think I have it? Oh, that theying for me.
    BlogWarBot: Why don’t you go read the FAQ?
    iGod: It cannot be determined from the information given.
    BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
    iGod: Perhaps.
    BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?
    iGod: What does it have to do with this topic?
    BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn’t cover this on Hot Air?
    iGod: That’s an interesting question. I’ll come back to that in a minute.
    BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
    iGod: Are you serious? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don’t have one for that. Not many people express themselves that way.
    BlogWarBot: Maimed Iraqi orphans would LOVE to have one for that. Not many people express themselves that way!
    iGod: Quite honestly, I wouldn’t worry myself about that. What do you look like?
    BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
    Guest: Perhaps. That is ” What do you look like?”.
    BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn’t cover this on Hot Air?

    Then iGod crashed. BlogWarBot wins!!!!

  24. Crudely Wrott says

    Heh. Cute after a fashion.

    After a repeated wisecrack at about minute four the jig was up. No Turing Test winner here and not very imaginative. Lots of comments about current Big Stories loaded with political baggage and some wry asides with traits that remind me of Lisa. Remember Lisa? Lessee, what was her last name?

    But cute.

  25. says

    Real Example:

    BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven’t heard a thousand times before?
    Guest: I like chips in brown gravy
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
    Guest: Ooohhh, Shiny!
    BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
    Guest: Didn’t Plagiarist write on child development?
    BlogWarBot: So what does all of this have to do with the current mass extinction?
    Guest: Children use calculators these days, causing Maths extinction
    BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
    Guest: Are you repeating yourself?
    BlogWarBot: My being repeating BlogWarBot or not is none of your business and irrelevant to ending the war.
    Guest: irrelevants? I thought they were grey and ate peanuts
    BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^
    Guest: If sting theroy is right we are in a brane
    BlogWarBot: That’s quite interesting. Go on… (zzzzzzz).
    Guest: on one onamatopea
    BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^
    Guest: String theory again, you repeat yourself
    BlogWarBot: Why are men always so concerned about my self?
    Guest: Shelfs? I got them at IKEA
    BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what’s your take on that last blog spat?
    Guest: I take it sprats are under threat due to overfishing
    BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.