An example of advanced logic in the internet age


This photo of a very interesting book is obviously fake, since there are no pictures of cats on it.

Comments

  1. Erasmus, FCD says

    1:28 “Invisible Man tell man, “ur in mai Earth, pwnz0rz mai aminulz”. And u eats fruitz. Aminulz eats greenz.

    Roflmao.

  2. says

    Favorite “passage”:

    Invisible Man say, “I can has aminulz.” It happen. Invisible Man make kitteh n’ cowz n’ snakez n’ stuff. Iz good.

    LOL “. . . n’ stuff. Iz good.” LOL

  3. NC Paul says

    I can has commandments?

    I r ur godxxor who has max pwnage. U can has no udder godxxorz b4 mes.

    U can has no makes pirates jpegz.

    U can no grief mes.

    U can no has workinz on Caturdays

    Max propz to ur momz and popzez.

    U can no pwn ur doodz.

    U can no makes the sexy times

    U can no exploit ur doodz cheezeburger.

    U can no grief ur doodz.

    U can no troll ur doodz.

    U can no has ur doodz stuff.

    U can no has ur doodz chickz.

    Kthanxbye!!!!!!1111

  4. Brian Thompson says

    Invisible Man sez, “Firs. Youz be in Egypt. I takez youz out of teh Egypt. No other Invisible Man be bigger. Iz not right.”

    “Secund. No makez teh imagez of da graves. Iz not right.”

    “Fird. No sez my name in vein. Iz not right.”

    “Fourf. Caturday! Yay! Werk Sunday ta Friday! Party Caturday! Iz awesum!”

    “Fif. Be nice ta Momz n Dadz. Especial if’n youz still live wif em!”

    “Sixf. No killin’ nobody. Iz not right. Is fer me only.”

    “Sevnef. No be mackin’ other boyz o gurlz. Iz not right.”

    “Eif. No tell laiz! Iz not right.”

    “Ninerz. Rememberz sevnef? No be wantin’ frendz hoez. No matter area codez! Iz not right.”

    “last. No be wantin’ frendz asses. Eww! Grossers! No be wantin’ frendz kitteh too! Iz not right!”

    Yeah, I’m not that good at this.

  5. Richard Harris, FCD says

    One of our cats is nearly clever enough to have written this.

    Hmmm. She was trying to get at the keyboard the other day. On the other hand, she wouldn’t be so stupid as to write such crap (King James version, that is).

  6. stogoe says

    Mat You 5
    5:1 An Jeez he be seein all teh peoplez, he be climbin hiz mountain: an after cheezburger, hiz doods be followin:

    5:2 And he be open mouf, he be sayin:

    5:3 Blessed iz mai tired: they can has mah buckit.
    5:4 Blessed iz teh sad kittehs: they can has invisible hugs.
    5:5 Blessed iz mice: they can has teh karots.
    5:6 Blessed iz who want cheezburger of Rites nis: they can has a flavor.
    5:7 Blessed iz teh halpers: they can has halp and mai cookies.
    5:8 Blessed iz mai kittehs: they can be seein mah ceiling cat.
    5:9 Blessed iz teh lolrus: they can has been mai kittehs.

  7. says

    Now look you stupid monkeys, we’ve spent a helluva lot teaching you to type and putting you up in this comfy room, and all you gotta do is type out Hamlet. So WTF is this? Are you auditioning for the next republican debate or some other comedy show? Enough is enough! Godsdamnit, I wanna see some Shakespeare here!

  8. NeoGothic says

    This must be the new ‘welcome page’ graphic for the Answers In Genesis website.

  9. Carl says

    Yes, but how does it end dammit! I was just getting into it…
    I like to read about that part where some booty is being pounded and then the booty is shakin’ and hundreds of kids come flying out left and right. And then more booty pundin’ off-course.
    Makes a nice desktop wallpaper though.

  10. Alice Shortcake says

    OMG! i larf so much mah kitteh giv mee funny luk an run out of da room.

  11. Suze says

    Godsdamnit, I wanna see some Shakespeare here!

    Act 2, Scene II:

    O Romeo, Romeo! U r ware, Romeo?
    No iz ur dadz, no iz ur name;
    Ur n mai hart, stealin’ mai luv,
    No moh teh Catulet.

  12. says

    Cats are not mentioned in the Bible. Therefore good Christians should not believe in them. Or have anything to do with them. Cats are probably Satanists and should be exterminated. Oh, wait. They already did that. Back when they thought all women were potential witches.

  13. says

    Suze, that should be WHY UR ROMEO
    WHY UR ENEMY FAMILY

    Wherefore means why.

    sorry about the punctuation. My keyboard is typing French today.

  14. says

    OK, I have to admit I was gonna type something along similar lines to all the above, but after reading these, I can only say: What a bunch of geeks we are! :-)

  15. CortxVortx says

    re:#23

    Now look you stupid monkeys, we’ve spent a helluva lot teaching you to type and putting you up in this comfy room, and all you gotta do is type out Hamlet.

    The hypothesis that a million monkeys typing away might produce Shakespeare has been neatly disproved by AOL chatrooms.

    — CV

  16. Kris says

    I’m not sure about the lolcat translation link in post #27, but the book reads quite a bit like Da Jesus Book http://www.pidginbible.org/index.htm by Wycliffe Bible Translators that translated the New Testament into Hawaii Pidgin (Hawaii Creole) as part of a serious attempt (all joking on Wikipedia aside) for native speakers of Hawaiian Pidgin who “find the English Bible difficult to understand” (pg v, Da Jesus Book).
    I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the Old Testament translation by the same group.

  17. Sophist, FCD says

    Get back to me when they figure out a cutsey translation for
    Hosea 13:16.

  18. RCP says

    Get back to me when they figure out a cutsey translation for
    Hosea 13:16.

    I’ll give it a shot:

    Samaria is to being fuxxored; she are rebelin to Jeebus: their doods am to be pwned with sords: their childs and wimmens with childs is can be pwned too.

  19. BruceH says

    Ho Sayuh 13:16 Samaria can haz despairz; cuz she haz dissed invisible man: they can haz death: they babies can haz death, and they pregnant wimminz too.

    ( Hay, u axed, so u gets )

  20. Ginger Yellow says

    Macbeth: Invisible dagr!

    Richard III: I can haz hoss?

    King Lear: Kingdum? Do not want.

    Titus Andronicus: Im in ur kichin, cookin ur childz

  21. JJR says

    Didn’t someone do a hip-hop/rap bible awhile back?

    …Then of course there was the über-nerdiness of those translating the bible into “Klingon”…

    on with the fun:

    (Adam & Eve)
    im takin’ ur rib
    makin’ ur womanz

    (Tale of Sodom & Gomorrah)
    kin we haz them 2 yung doodz?
    Bro! Do not say! U can haz my dawtrz, who no haz man b4!

    (David & Goliath)
    Takin’ my rok, hitten ur headz

    etc, etc.

  22. Ginger Yellow says

    Or for the more New Testament inclined: “I’m on ur cross, redeemin ur sinz”

  23. t.c. says

    Invisible Man has name Cloister? We all goes Fushal! We can has red hatz! (Maybe iz blu.)

  24. Owlmirror says

    GOD: I CAN HAS ISAAC-BURGER?
    abraham: wtf?!
    a: …
    a: uh……k.
    a: isaac, we goes up mntn for kill to GOD
    isaac: wtf? where are goat?
    a: uh……GOD give us
    .
    i: huh?
    a: isaac, liez down on this here piles of rock and dry, dead branches.
    i: huh?……? k.
    G: OH HAI, I UPGRADED UR RAM
    a: whew! isaac, gets up. we killz that ram 4 god.
    i: whew! k.

  25. DingoDave says

    Owlmirror Wrote:

    GOD : “I CAN HAS ISAAC-BURGER?”
    ABRAHAM : “WYF?!”

    LOL : That will take some topping.

  26. stogoe says

    Prayr to Invisible Man:

    Invisible Man, who be in invisible pair dice,
    OOOO u r so big.
    Ur pair dice come hear an ur wants be doin on erf lik be in pair dice.
    Giv us an cheezburger evry day,
    Frgiv ar pwns, lik we be frgivin teh pwned.
    dont be takin ar buckit, an takes us frum ebil: Urs is teh ‘puter, an teh pwn, an teh awesum, all Caturday.

    Way too much time on my hands…

  27. Owlmirror says

    cain: i has roasted fruits and veggies!
    GOD: DO NOT WANT!
    c: suxx0r!
    abel: i has roasted meat!
    GOD: HAS A FLAVR! DO WANT! NOM NOM NOM
    a: w00t! <level up!>
    c: level up, my ass!
    c: abel. my rock. let me show you it.
    a: x_x <is ded>
    G: CAIN. WHER UR BRO?
    c: uh….wtf, I dunno. Don’t own my bro.
    G: U PWN UR BRO. U HAS A MARK. AMSCRAY.

  28. says

    Mark 4:24 – 5:17

    [24] AN HIS FAME WENT THROUGHOUT ALL SYRIA: AN THEY BROUGHT UNTO HIM ALL SICK PEEPS DAT WUZ TAKEN WIF DIVERS DISEASEZ AN TORMENTS, AN DOSE WHICH WUZ POSESSD WIF DEVILS, AN DOSE WHICH WUZ LUNATICK, AN DOSE DAT HAD TEH PALSY; AN HE HEALD THEM.
    [25] AN THAR FOLLOWD HIM GREAT MULTITUDEZ OV PEEPS FRUM GALILEE, AN FRUM DECAPOLIS, AN FRUM JERUSALEM, AN FRUM JUDAEA, AN FRUM BEYOND JORDAN.
    MATT.5
    [1] AN SEEIN TEH MULTITUDEZ, HE WENT UP INTO MOUNTAIN: AN WHEN HE WUZ SET, HIS DISCIPLEZ CAME UNTO HIM:
    [2] AN HE OPEND HIS MOUTH, AN TAUGHT THEM, SAYIN,
    [3] BLESD R TEH POOR IN SPIRIT: 4 THEIRS IZ TEH KINGDOM OV HEAVEN.
    [4] BLESD R THEY DAT MOURN: 4 THEY SHALL BE COMFORTD.
    [5] BLESD R TEH MEEK: 4 THEY SHALL INHERIT TEH EARTH.
    [6] BLESD R THEY WHICH DO HUNGR AN THIRST AFTR RIGHTEOUSNES: 4 THEY SHALL BE FILLD.
    [7] BLESD R TEH MERCIFUL: 4 THEY SHALL OBTAIN MERCY.
    [8] BLESD R TEH PURE IN HART: 4 THEY SHALL C INVISIBLE MAN.
    [9] BLESD R TEH PEACEMAKERS: 4 THEY SHALL BE CALLD TEH CHILDREN OV INVISIBLE MAN.
    [10] BLESD R THEY WHICH R PERSECUTD 4 RIGHTEOUSNES SAEK: 4 THEIRS IZ TEH KINGDOM OV HEAVEN.
    [11] BLESD R YE, WHEN DOODZ SHALL REVILE U, AN PERSECUTE U, AN SHALL SAY ALL MANNR OV EVIL AGAINST U FALSELY, 4 MAH SAEK.
    [12] REJOICE, AN BE EXCEEDIN GLAD: 4 GREAT IZ UR REWARD IN HEAVEN: 4 SO PERSECUTD THEY TEH PROPHETS WHICH WUZ BEFORE U.
    [13] YE R TEH SALT OV TEH EARTH: BUT IF TEH SALT HAS LOST HIS SAVOUR, WHEREWITH SHALL IT BE SALTD? IT THENCEFORTH GUD 4 NOTHIN, BUT 2 BE CAST OUT, AN 2 BE TRODDEN UNDR FOOT OV DOODZ.
    [14] YE R TEH LIGHT OV TEH WURLD. CITY DAT IZ SET ON AN HILL CANT BE HID.
    [15] NEITHR DO DOODZ LIGHT CANDLE, AN PUT IT UNDR BUSHEL, BUT ON CANDLESTICK; AN IT GIVETH LIGHT UNTO ALL DAT R IN DA HOUZ.
    [16] LET UR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE DOODZ, DAT THEY CUD C UR GUD WERKZ, AN GLORIFY UR INVISIBLE MAN WHICH IZ IN HEAVEN.
    [17] FINKZ NOT DAT IM COME 2 DESTROY TEH LAW, OR TEH PROPHETS: I R NOT COME 2 DESTROY, BUT 2 FULFIL.