Do you really have to be a marketing genius to sell sex? This crazy Scot in Australia has hit on a scheme to combine aphrodisiacs: he feeds oysters Viagra. It sounds silly—if you want an erection, take the Viagra directly, without the additional step of having it diluted, filtered, and processed by a mollusc—but he claims his business is booming.
Now I just have to convince investors that my plan to breed rhinoceroses raised on a diet of Viagra-fed oysters is the Next Big Thing…hey, getting them to breed won’t be any problem at all, will it?
(via Hillary Rettig)


What does an oyster boner look like?
Do you really have to be a marketing genius to sell sex?
Depends on with whom.
Little blue oysters?
I can’t wait until someone gets Norwalk virus and priapism at the same time.
“That’s some erection you have there, sailor!”
“Aw, shucks, ma’am…”
If you go ahead with the rhino investment you might want to get a lawyer –
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19067777/
I’ve seen drinks that mixed pomegranate juice with blueberry juice. Apparently some people think that 8 oz. of pomegranate and blueberry mixed together will give you more antioxidants than just 8 oz. of one or the other by itself.
This ranks pretty low on the “ingenious Scottish marketing scam” scale. It’s probably above Braveheart (successful as it was, it was just something we grabbed onto, rather than something we came up with) but it’s pathetic compared to Haggis Hunting and, of course, Nessie.
Of course the oysters keep dying because they can’t fend off predators. It seems that their shells keep getting propped open for some reason.
I’ll stick to the old-fashioned method, thank you very much: daily injections of ground-up bull testicles.
Hm. Rev. Chimp, if we can get some followers perhaps we can start a little blue oyster cult?