Here, you can have nightmares too. I could hardly believe this topic that came up in the comments: gospel mimes. I thought it had to be some cynical joke, that no one would combine those two things…but it’s real. There are plenty of examples on YouTube, and jpf dug up a list:
- K&K Mime Ministries
- Praises In Motion Mime Ministry
- The Mime Ministry of De’Ju
- The Mime Boyz
- Yielded Vessel
- Silent Praise Mime Ministry
- Ms. Tawanda: Gospel Mime Soldier For Christ
I know. My jaw hit the floor, just like yours. If Koran Bratz exist, to name two random and normally unlinked horrors, please don’t tell me.
KK-Mime ?
Have they no shame ?
Interesting. The “Mime Boyz” are 4 young African-American (why can’t we just say black?) men….in white face.
Can we say “irony”?
Hey, one of my favorite kind of fundies, MUTE ones!
Ack!
Sounds even worse than Clowns for Christ.
Gospel mimes: when scorpion pits are not enough.
What would the Patrician do?
You must never be distressed
Yes, it’s all for the….
All your wrongs will be redressed
Yes, it’s all for the….
Someone’s got to be oppressed!
Koran Bratz…
* Razanne
* Fulla
* Saghira
Ok, they’re more Barbie than Bratz, but that’s about as close as you’re going to get.
If you’re into random things thrown together becoming more horrible than the sum of their parts, how about a school for New Age French Kabbalah Mimes that teaches some sort of mime-centric transhumanism?
At least they’re quiet.
If only all Christians would behave like this – all the time! What a wonderful world it would be!
More mute frenchified Christians, please!
[Hmmm… how do you say “God is dead, you doofus” in mime?]
I’m all for christian mime – so long as its kept to radio.
I wonder how anatomically correct these dolls are? I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t even have lumps where breasts should be… making them look totally androgenous.
how do you say “God is dead, you doofus” in mime?
I’m not sure, but I think it would go something like this.
Koran Bratz would be about the worst toys ever, up until the manufacturrer re-released them for boys as ninja figures.
Koran Bratz would be about the worst toys ever, up until the manufacturrer re-released them for boys as ninja figures
Teenage Mutant Ninja Bratz?
But are you ready for the GodTube?! Bill Benzon has found the ultimate refutation to Darwin-worshipping idolaters on it.
Let me know when you get Gospel ventriloquists. “Just drink that glass of water while I spread the Good News”…
A “mime ministry” seems to be the sort of religious organization I could support. Unfortunately, their website did NOT live up to expectations. There they were literally TALKING. What part of the word “mime” don’t they understand?
Less talking guys and more miming. I am looking forward to their production where the 2 of them mime all the people and characters and animals from the nativity story.
Oh, and NO talking voice overs or subtitles allowed.
…
…
Note to evangelical Christians:
Less talking. More invisible boxes.
Thank you.
…
…
This should’ve come with a NSFBT warning: Not Safe for Bedtime.
Now I’m going to be haunted all night by horrifying visions of mute white-gloved figures surrounding my bed, performing never-ending interpretations of the Magic Multiplying Loaves’n’Fishes and the Sacrifice of Isaac.
At least they probably won’t be doing Balaam and His Talking Ass…
Gaaa! Turn it off! Turn it off! Nightmares!
If Koran Bratz exist, to name two random and normally unlinked horrors, please don’t tell me.
Um…you know I’m going to bring this up, right? There are Christian belly dancers, more often called “liturgical dancers.” Before you run away, remember that many Lebanese are Christians. Much liturgical dance is quite good and interesting, not like this stuff!
Poor Jean-Louis Barrault!
You heard the TV, he’s a mime and a liar!
I never appreciated mime until I saw The Aristocrats.
That’s nothing. Try googling puppet ministry.
Ken Cope, the video you pointed to has been “flagged as inappropriate by some viewers” and we now have to sign in or register to view it–something I’ve avoided so far. Did you notice if that was the case last night? Or has this just been done?
Wait… you never heard of gospel ventriloquists? They’re HUGE. Sorry, I only know this because I collect strange records. This is like, an entire genre of Christian recording, serious. Check out “Lil Markie,” whose “Diary of an Unborn Child” is a freakin’ classic. This is seriously sick, twisted, fundie stuff though– beware! Probably NSFW, but only because its SO weird.
Diary of an Unborn Child
If anything were to be appropriately “flagged as inappropriate” by youtube viewers, it would be the silent performance by Billy the Mime of the joke that was the subject of the film, The Aristocrats. If told right, that joke would offend Lenny Bruce, and this was one of the funniest versions in the film. To communicate “god is dead, you doofus” in mime would have to go something like Billy’s performance.
I understand the reluctance to login. Back when Radio Shack used to require a name and an address, even for a cash transaction, I was often “Eddie Munster, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Beverly Hills CA 90210.” Usually I’d hear the clerk say, “Thank you, Mr. Munster.”
Right, that’s it. I came to this blog for interesting and sometimes funny stories about Biology. I did not come for a daily dose of Creationist bashing. Creationists are morons. We get it. There’s only so much pointing and laughing you one do before the idiot is you. It’s time for me to find another science blog that actually deals with *Science* not jibes that are best left on the playground.
This is for real, kids. I had a roommate in college whose dad was a gospel mime in the 70s. I think he also smoked a lot of weed. Go figure.
She mounted his headshot over the toilet of our flat, which really freaked out our guy friends.
There are also gospel balloon twisters. My friend made a documentary about balloon twisters (showed this year at SXSW!) in which an ex-con balloon artist makes Christ on the Cross, complete with blood, out of balloons.
You couldn’t make that up.
But I gotta tell ya, those Hollywood villians can’t hold a candle to the villians in Holy Writ. Can you imagine Jack Nicholson as Pontius Pilate? I think it would go something like this [pulls hair back tight]: “You want the Jew? You can’t handle the Jew!”
[As Lt. Walsh in Chinatown] “Forget it, Pontius. It’s Palestine.”
But Jesus, now there was a class act. Classy all the way. [as Cary Grant] “Judas, Judas, Judas.”
And who can forget Mary Magdalene? She had a heart of gold; a heart of gold, I tell ya. [bats eyelashes like Bette Davis] “I think I love you, Jesus of Nazareth. Rehlly I do.”
Thanks, folks. I’ll be here all week. Try the Host!
Kevin–not to deny you your righteous indignation, but where in this post or the comments does it say anything at all about creationists?
(I agree with you. They are morons. But gospel mimes are a whole ‘nother special kind of creepy.)
Heh, I find this rather amusing because I personally know about half of a troupe of Gospel Mimes(they’re classmates of mine). And what makes them even more funny to me is that we live in Chapel Hill, NC, a town where it is completely normal to be Atheist/Agnostic, which is also funny, cause we’re in the Deep South :D .
Oh, and just for clarification, I go to chhs, not UNC.
wow. just the k&k site intro itself made me crack up.
Freeeekeeeee.
Christian Clown Training 1
Christian Clown Training 2
Can’t be real. Shouldn’t be real.
KK-Mime ?
Have they no shame ?
Posted by: MartinC | March 13, 2007 07:28 PM
I’ve heard of K&K Mime about a year ago, and they’ve been doing that gig for quite a while. They’ve actually made the mime Gospel somewhat famous amongst black Christians in the past few years.
I clowned a bit when I lived in Atlanta. Don’t laugh…uh…okay, laugh, but don’t be disdainful, this was as a member of a band, not children’s parties. Thing is, there is something (wonderfully) sinister in the very NATURE of clowning. The makeup itself, at least for a full white-face grotesque, tramp or auguste, is almost a living skin, cemented in place with an athletic sock full of baby powder and sprayed water. I never feel so claustrophobic as when I’m in full clown, and I shave my head for it. So think of it, wearing a smile that is not yours and a mask that is really your own skin to hide who you truly are, to fool children into buying your superstition? You know, I can’t really see Christ doing that, as hard as I might try…
My brother was terrified of Rodeo Clowns.
They did a magic gag where they sawed one clown
in half and then ran the halves around seperately on
gurney’s before leaving the ring.
He was scarred for life.
It just goes to show you that even when they won’t talk, fundies still won’t shut the f*ck up.
Just for fun, someone should show up at one of these Gospel Mime shows with a big protest sign that says GOD HATES MIMES. Give yourself bonus points if you can find a Bible verse that goes along with that sentiment.
I enjoyed visiting with an actual Ringling Bros. clown college-trained clown, and I was astonished at the range of his talents — juggling, acrobatics, stage combat, etc. He was even a good actor. It bemused him to see Shriner and Car Wash clowns besmirching his profession.
As to mimes, to speak of them AT ALL runs the risk of verging into cop-and-doughnut joke territory, the cliche’ world of invisible boxes and walking against the wind. So I’ll broaden the scope of the following observation (I am a minister, and I don’t think I’m being a traitor to the faith when I say):
Long before I entered seminary it became apparent to me that if you enjoyed doing something, but weren’t especially good at it, you could call it a MINISTRY and spend the rest of your life performing in an environment that is practically guaranteed to be generous, inviting, and even enthusiastic. Especially for mimes, I can see how this would be a positive boon.
Well First and Foremost,I am strong supporter of Gospel mime.Actually, I member of a particular mime ministry in my church.To clarify a few things.A read a statement that said a black man trying to wear a white face?But, you have no shame to go and tan your skin to be dark? You make injust comments about something you know nothing about.I doubt many of you have religous background, because if so how dare you make a mockery of someone else’s attempt to create a new and interesting approach to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.Just to clear the air, the net worth of K&K Mime Ministry is well over 10.5 million dollars,so they are not just some “Dumb Black People” as someone stated earlier.The next time you decide to post ignorant and insulting comments like this please do me a favor, and know what you are speaking on and stop acting like a bunch of uneducated people, or as you would call us “Nig”well, I am sure many of you know the rest very well!!!!
are you people athiests or something? liturgical dance and mime are some of the best ways to worship god and have you ever seen kk mime ,their some of the best mimes in the world.because i do both litugical amd mime dance at my church i feel very strongly about this topic.me being a 14 year old African-American girl and liturgical and mime dance being mostly in black (gospel) churches, i can see why your so closed minded about this but if you ever really looked at it you would see this type of dance was somethimg wonderful.and yes my jaw did drop , but only because someone like you ,a college professor and a biologist can be so stupid.and as for the rest of you the next time you decide to talk bad about us niggers (as you would call us) and the things we do please know what your talking about.
yes. we are atheists. racism has nothing to do with it.
religion is silly. religious mimes… VERY sily.
are you people athiests or something?
ROFLMAO
nice imitation of Jesus btw, raising the dead like that, Jasmine.
jasmine: Don’t jump to conclusions about our views on race. This is a quote from PZ Myers
wow i have never read so many ignorant comments in my life. I know i am way late on these blogs but i am absolutely apalled. Just one thing for you to think about atheist since religion is silly. If i am wrong about God what do i lose nothing because im in the ground but if you are wrong your going to hell that is something im not willing to risk and someone who is is stupid. Gospel mime is one of the best ways that black churches praise God these days how dare you make a mockery of it. Do you nothing better to do with your pitiful lives….Yea i didnt think so.
YAY. Pascal’s Wager !!!
How do you know you are praying to the right god? Ever thought about that. Shouldn’t you hedge your bets and pray to all of them?
Vishnu is going to be pissed.
No. Oh, right, your argument means exactly bupkis.
YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MINISTRY BEFORE YOU PUT IT DOWN IT COULD BE THE VERY THING THE BLESSES YOUR SOUL AND DELIEVER YOU OUT OF YOUR MESSY SINS.
Lookie here! An all capitalized rant added three months after the thread came to an end.
Yeah buddy, you are so going to convince us sinners.