Which side will you take in the War on Cephalopodmas?

Look at this card a reader wrote me about. It’s a sweet, cute, innocent card, perfect for Cephalopodmas.


On the other hand—O Great Old Ones, this is so horrid I shudder to mention it—another reader sent me an ad. An ad so ghastly, I won’t put it on the front page here…you’ll have to click through to see it. If you’re squeamish or delicate of constitution, do not read the rest of this post. The War on Cephalopodmas is on.


Yikes! See the look of shock and pain in the poor octopus’s eyes, as the drunk Scot loaded down with all the wet wool skewers him? Dewar’s is definitely not the drink we’ll be toasting each other with on Cephalopodmas Eve, that’s for sure.


  1. Apikoros says

    The octopus may be down, but he’s not out. I think in a moment he’ll have the Scotsman by the sporran, if you know what I mean…

  2. says

    What’s wrong with a pickled octopus … oh, oh I see.

    I agree; Dewar’s is for amateurs. It’s on the same shelf with Bailey’s.

    And I’m hoping ChopraFan is being ironic.

  3. markmier says

    Hey, Bailey’s is good in coffee.

    But I must agree that Dewars is not acceptable. Only Macallan 18-year here. Liquid gold.

  4. says

    That Scot is not skewering the octopus. That ‘skewer’ is obviously an astrally projected beam of cephalokarma which the Scot it attempting to catch. Its clear who has the upper tentacle in this scene.

    On the other hand, if you pretend that the octopus is Chopra, and the Scot is PZ skewering him with the speak of reason, it might be more palatable.

  5. Big Nasty says

    And I’m hoping ChopraFan is being ironic.

    I’m afraid not. He spammed Orac’s Skeptic Circle post, too.

  6. says

    Hey, CF, if Chopraphilia turns you on, that’s fine. But could you keep it to the the relevant post?

    Anyway, I will be toasting the Great Old Ones of R’lyeh with oyster shots at the local market. Though by that criterion it’s C-mas every week in Melbourne! (And I will console myself with the fact that the same fishermen who slaughtered all those beautiful squid will be eaten last…)

  7. says

    “C’mon, yeh wee octopus! You can start small, with this stick, and we’ll be havin’ yeh tossing a full-sized caber in no time!”

  8. Ballard Fremont Edmonds says

    His neighbors threw his pipes into the sea, and he thought that he’d found them again.

  9. David Harmon says

    I can’t afford single-malts. :-( I do rather like some of the classic American whiskies like Jim Beam or Wild Turkey. (It’s also relevant that a “half-fifth” generally lasts me 3 months or more….)

    On the other hand, I just got a bottle of Landy VSOP (cognac) for my birthday, and this stuff is nice!

  10. says

    Reminds me of the musical octopus whom his owner said could play anything. A scotsman hands him a set of bagpipes, saying “Let’s see yon beastie play these.” The octopus spends the next ten minutes just moving the pipes about with his tentacles. “I thocht ye could play onything!” laughs the scotsman.
    “Play it?” says the octopus,”I’m going to make love to it – as soon as I can work out how to take her tartan pyjamas off!”

  11. G. Tingey says

    This is actually a warning against the horrors of drinking BLENDED scotch ….

    You’ll be much better off if you drink a really good single malt: Talisker/Tobermory/Oban/Springbank/Jura/Laphroig/Port Ellen/Scapa come to mind…..

  12. Bryn says

    Now, now, before everyone starts attacking those of us who play pipes and wear the kilt, what you have there is a Drum Major. You know, the guy that wanders in front of the pipe band carrying an enormous baton otherwise known as a mace. The bottom of the mace is clearly shown and clearly not puncturing a precious member of the cephalopod family. The innocently bystanding octopus is merely exhibiting the somewhat shocked look we would all give the D/M who was willingly mussing (not to mention soaking) his uniform. D/M’s are known to be rather fussy about their appearance, you see. And I’ll refrain from telling the old “bagpipes/octopus” joke here….